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Pencils episode 2

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rated 3.02 / 5 stars
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Uploaded
Oct 14, 2006 | 10:25 AM EDT

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Author Comments

I did my best, but i still dont know much about flash

anyway, here is the 2ne episode of pencils

(the music still goes on after the movie :@)

Reviews


H4mmur4b1H4mmur4b1

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Excellent progress

You've shown definate progress, hope you keep at it. I'm sure you'll do well.


nijnemans responds:

well, at this moment, i can't create any flash becouse my pc is in for restaurations, but when it gets back, i'm gonna start making a movie which will be much better then the other things i made before :)

ty for reviewing !


IvaronIvaron

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Good idea, not so good execution =)

I liked it. It was a good idea, but the execution of that idea wasn't all that great. Still, it was good enough for me to enjoy it.
Anyway, here's some pointers I think you'll be interested in reading:

I see you have trouble with the music going on when the flash has stopped. Here's the solution: in flash, select the keyframe that holds the music. Then go to properties (below the stage), open it up. Then at the dropdown menu for "Sync:" select "stream". You may need to close the library/color mixer/etc window to be able to see the "sync" dropdown menu on properties, as it is a bit to the right.

When 'streamed', the music will be layed out over the frames that hold it. That means that when your movie ends, the music will stop. And also when you pause the movie the music will stop. And if you synch something to the movie (like lip-synching / talking), it will end up the same way on the internet like you view it on your computer. This is because on the internet, the movie is constantly loaded, and for slower movies some frames are skipped. When on 'event', like you have it now, the music isn't layed out over the frames but instead one big 'event', so while the frames get skipped, the music just plays normally. And then it gets 'out of synch'. When you set the music to 'stream', that doesn't happen because every frame skipped is a piece of music skipped (but it's in such small portions that you won't notice it, except for it not going 'out of synch').
The music will also take up less filesize when set to 'stream'.

So while the 'event' setting is okay for explosions and stuff that happens quickly, for music, voices, and long sound effects you'll need to set it to stream.

Okay, now on with the review: I too think you need to make it all longer, and use more FPF instead of just tweaning. It just looks better. Really good animators use 36 or higher. It may take some more work, but it will look much better, and it will hide the little mistakes in the drawings because it all changes too fast for the viewer to notice them. That is, if you FPF instead of tweaning ;)

Oh, and try to put more effort in the drawings themselves. Stick figures are okay if done well. Most of this looked good, but some of it looked like it didn't fit with the well-drawn stuff. It's as if you put more effort into the hands, than you put into the figures.
I know, that all takes more work, but it's worth it though; you'll definatly see the difference in the score for your movie.

The flash did seem to lack some substance.. At the start it looked like the two 'hands' were battling each other trough their drawings, but then the one hand drew a truck to kill his own dragon. That kinda threw me on a loop. Didn't seem to fit with the rest of the story.

With the truck, all you had to have the dragon was 'fuck', then the truck falls, doesn't hit him, he's like 'phew', then the truck sloooowly start wobbling in the dragons direction, with a 'creaking' sound (try flashkit [dot] com for sounds), dragon says 'oh shit' *BANG*. I think that would have been better, as the dialogue now is a bit weird, like THESLIGHTDISCOMFORT said.

Oh, and here's what you also need to do at the end: create a keyframe at the end that holds a screen in which you will put a replay button. Then select the keyframe, go to 'actions - frame', and add a "stop" action. Then add a button symbol and give it a 'playfromframe' action. This is all explained in 'OMFG: A Flash Tutorial', which you can find on NG. Use the search function ;)

If you really want to end up like Adam Philips (Brackenwood) and James Farr (Xombie), then put more effort into it. And practice! It may seem boring to take alot of time on your flash, but it's the only way =)


People find this review helpful!
nijnemans responds:

ty you

my savior


moatmoat

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

It's not bad.

The flash looks pretty good, but what it really needs is some sort of coherency to tie the events that take place together. Interesting choice in music.


nijnemans responds:

ty for reviewing

i will keep it in mind


Tri-Nitro-TolueneTri-Nitro-Toluene

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Little pointless

Not bad I suppose, though it was a little pointless.

You seem to be able to draw reasonably well if the hands that were in the movie were anything to go by, so next time, I'd recomend doing something a little more advanced than some random stick figures killing each other.

Also, try and do something with a bit more of a story to it.


nijnemans responds:

ill think of it,

but it's a serie i have in mind, so thats why it stay sticks

but mayby i'll make a real flash, without sticks and with good figures

thx for the rev


AbsurdRandomnessAbsurdRandomness

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Pretty good.

Pros: I liked the idea and how you drew the stick and (creature)? These paper fights are my favorite concepts in flashes. For that, I think this will pass.

Cons: Not to much improvement is necessary in my opinion. I guess the graphics do need a little work, and in papermation, FBF is very important. So, try and redraw a certian layer when it moves, like those little scribbles. They would've looked better if redrawn every frame, which wouldn't have been hard at all.

Anyways, decent portal submission, and gj.


nijnemans responds:

it already took some days for this , but ill keep it in mind, and work more with fpf

ty for rev