It is an honor to have someone make a music video of a sort for one of my songs (something serious I mean). You have a good idea and It thrilled me to see that someone picked up on the imagery given off by the song. I always thought of a pond + twighlight setting when I listened to it. You have inspired me to make an actual music video! Something using a digital camera though, because I couldn't use flash if it meant my life.
All I really saw though, were simple objects being moved accross the screen. If you put more effort into the art, maybe team up with somebody else for help, then you would have a magnificent flash. You say you made it in one afternoon, well, yes that won't quite work if you are going for quality, so I can't say you're a bad artist, you just need to put more time and devotion into it.
Its already been said, but I agree that you should devote more time into a flash. Perhaps make it a week project, if you have that kind of discipline. I would love to see a remake of the flash if you ever decide to get around to it. Good luck and keep flashing!