Samurai Asshole

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I originally posted this on Newgrounds in 1999, before the current Portal system.

Your master is dead, and you're out for mindless revenge against everyone! Use the arrow keys to walk, "A" to attack, "S" to jump and "D" to block.

This game was made in Flash 4, which is why the keyboard input is laggy. Flash 4 didn't allow consistent keyboard input, so I had to fudge it to make the character move as smoothly as possible. I was tempted to fix it, but decided to maintain the crappy integrity of the original.

It is also worth noting that Flash 4 didn't support depth swapping, so it was a pain in the butt to make the characters overlap eachother based on their depth on the screen. I don't say this stuff to be boastful, I say it because I want people to appreciate why my old games are so crappy. These were the pinnacle of Flash programming at one point and I need some props!

The background art was by Michael Bregman. I did the rest!



so this is what kids enjoyed back then? interesting....

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To blam or not to blam...

The thing is, this game isn't exactly real interesting in much of any way. How? Let me count the ways:

1) The game is too short! Even if this is a preview for a game that will probably never come (either that or it's taken WAY too many years to make), it has no texture. No real "meat" to it, so to speak. If you're ever gonna make a game worth anything, it needs that texture.

2) the controls are jacked up. Though the controls are basic, they rarely respond correctly, making it frustrating to try to get ol' s'asshole anywhere you want him to.
And the attack is not real tactical. All I had to do was hold the attack button down, and I hit the enemy with a barrage of slices. Now that's just lame...

3) the art direction? I don't know where to even start on that. for one, even though it's Flash 4, most of the drawings are just plain horrible. You could've put in the slightest amount of effort there, bud. And the characters didn't even look human, just like little japanese dolls come to life.

4) Little to no story at all. What little there was of it was quite vague, and much of it doesn't add up. It's like you're trying to jam random puzzle pieces together that just dont fit!

Really, I don't want to sound like an asshole or anything, but you're the founder of the biggest flash portal on the internet. You really need to step up your game, or, in this case, GAMES, or ppl might lose faith in you. Many already have! I know you're busy with all those other game series, like Madness, Pico, all that, but at least try and make a game that does S'asshole justice! You need to look at your work from a universal perspective, not just as the developer, but as someone who would want to play the game...as just another person, looking for that fun little flash to waste his weekend on.

oh man

flash 4 and you did't fixed it are you mad up'date it to flash 10 please4 or i will not goin to play this anymore


this game is not good at all. health is too low, attack damage and reach has problems and what is up with the jump!!!!!! if u could fix the jump movement and health this game would be an 8 for me.


what is this place OMG WHAT IS THAT ahahahaha man you are epic still

needs some killing spree but its epic

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Credits & Info

3.54 / 5.00

May 8, 2006
9:31 AM EDT
Action - Fighting - Brawler
  • Daily 4th Place May 9, 2006