Castlevania Priest Battle

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In the NES game parody of ours, Simon is back in town after killing Dracula in Castlevania 2... but now he finds that the priest won't even restore his health! It's quite obvious that this shit-talkin' priest needs to be taught a lesson or two!

Controls are:
Z = Jump
X = Whip
Click or Spacebar = Start

(if you have problems controlling the character, just click on the game and the problem will resolve itself

And don't forget to return to town after you beat the game, because there's a "Secret Button" on your keyboard that you'll DEFINITELY want to push while you're in town! >:) You WILL need to CLOSE THE WINDOW and re-open the game to return to town just so you know. And you DON'T have to beat the game to access the secret item, but isn't it more fun to save it for last? And it doesn't tell you what the secret button is, you gotta figure out that for yourself! ;)

Enjoy the blasphemy of Priest Battle!
If you want to play it without the newgrounds pop-up ads or download it, you can get it at:


I'm sorry but I tried to give the game a chance, the dialogue is funny, but the battle with jesus is IMPOSSIBLE, OKAY. I tried so many times and kept saying to myself "okay, other people have beaten this so it has to be possible, but how in hell are you suppose to dodge the bombs? Ridiculous.

Can't jump for shit, controls suck because it's too slow, they lag

I know, right. I never knew God would give Simon a Pikatchu.

then ending was hilarius as shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Average at best

The game lags a lot, making it hard to move Simon in sync with button presses. First boss is too easy, and the second is much more difficult (mainly due to the fact that Simon CANNOT SWIM IN WATER?!). The dialogue saves this game from being bad though, but at times is too drawn out.

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Credits & Info

2.98 / 5.00

Jul 31, 2001
11:08 PM EDT
Action - Other
  • Daily Feature August 2, 2001