Could use A LOT of work.
Not bad for beginer ;)
If you keep practising you ll be good enough
it was okay.
the old dude looks like he has two noses, though.
Average: i Think For a first try it was pretty good and as said below that you have been given quite some unfair reviews normally becasue of jackasses that Suck them selfs put down other people and not even help the author... well its a start the audio is pretty bad but it can be easy fixed maybe try and edit your story to get rid of the boring bits... but great job and thanks for posting on Newgrounds
was gonna leave this blank but...
it wasnt bad for a first, it has gotten some pretty unfair reviews