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Random Excuse Machine

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I dare you to call in sick to work with: I gotta shave my hairy sausage!

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bro i gotta sponge my puffy toenails sorry

"I'd really love to... but I can't because I have to pierce my broken waffle."

Some of my favorites:
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to hide my grumpy sausage.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to wax my missing legs.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to floss my dead mailman.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to kiss my poisonous plants.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to examine my ancient ego.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to swap my hot brother.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to lose my new money.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to hide my missing burrito.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to untie my broken arm.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to water my new grandma.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to shave my hairy carpet.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to thwart my deadly wart.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to revive my burnt chicken.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to water my burnt ego.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to examine my inbred arm.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to watch my missing brother.

"Sorry I'd really love to go out, but I have to wrestle my upset sausage."

This was really cute, kinda reminds me of insult generator from 2000. Would be better if it stopped one at a time and had a list of things that narrowed down the possibilities in the code so you'd always get something that made sense.

"find my inbred inner child"

i'm dead lmao

Credits & Info

Views
38,656
Faves:
96
Votes
246
Score
4.01 / 5.00

Uploaded
Apr 15, 2001
1:28 PM EDT
  • Daily Feature April 16, 2001