why i gotta hypnotize my frugal hamster

bro i gotta sponge my puffy toenails sorry

Some of my favorites:
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to hide my grumpy sausage.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to wax my missing legs.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to floss my dead mailman.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to kiss my poisonous plants.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to examine my ancient ego.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to swap my hot brother.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to lose my new money.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to hide my missing burrito.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to untie my broken arm.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to water my new grandma.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to shave my hairy carpet.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to thwart my deadly wart.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to revive my burnt chicken.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to water my burnt ego.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to examine my inbred arm.
I'd really love to .... but I can't because I have to watch my missing brother.

"Sorry I'd really love to go out, but I have to wrestle my upset sausage."

This was really cute, kinda reminds me of insult generator from 2000. Would be better if it stopped one at a time and had a list of things that narrowed down the possibilities in the code so you'd always get something that made sense.

"find my inbred inner child"

i'm dead lmao