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You've probably been asking yourself for months, how can I cash in on the internet hottest craze?

Well, look no further.

I'm right here, in all my low def non 4K UHD glory.

Like a glistening beacon that is holding a torch, stuffed with kerosene and various toys from the 80s, rekindled only when there is something to be yelled about or complacently shaken a keen fist towards, I'm ready and able.

I do voices and write comedy, both terribly. Sure, you might know me from my very lovely projects that I've been attached to. Maybe not. All good.

I'm back and better than ever because I upgraded to a Sennheiser MKH 416.

Pro level equipment, 20 years + of talky talk experience and I'm looking to make your stuff sound lovely.

Check out my very old voice demo of course if you like. It's free, unlike when you walk into an orphanage. Let me tell you, no matter how hard you try and convince people that any modern business offers free samples, those nuns are uptight prudes about diligence and child neglect.

I digress.

If you've been needing a reason to stop laughing at life and start grimacing at words flashing before your eyes...

Have I got a sweet deal for you.

For the limited low price of TBD, you can engage me in a private message that will only be seen by you, your loved ones, and my attorney, whom may or may not be a robot with a gentleman's bowler, named Mr. Tinsworth.

This private message may inquire as to work for hire, shill work, and general banter. I am available for all types of missives.

Mr. Tinsworth however, has places to fucking be, as all men of metallic mettle tend to be needed.