I feel weird as shit lately, like literally all of the people I know and talk to on a regular basis are straight men. Well, I have one friend that is bi or something but I don't get along with him. I feel more attracted to men now than I've ever been, basically I'm infatuated with a guy that is almost certainly straight. Every time I think about telling him, in the moment it seems like a ridiculous idea. He'd probably still not be attracted to me and then it'd just be one more person that knows right? Hell my roommate doesn't even know. I've also gotten called a "faggot" by guys I don't know while walking down the hallway to my room. And when I was downstairs getting food, I think. I don't know if they were being literal or not, but I wonder if it's more obvious now. It's just frustrating. I also feel like crossdressing, but there is no privacy here and I have no clothes. I mean that's something I usually feel like doing when I know a guy that I'm attracted to, but it just seems really silly when I think about it and it makes me feel like an idiot. It's not like it will change the fact that he is probably not attracted to me, and probably doesn't care about it any more than the other straight male friends I have, who don't know. It's just like a hopeless situation that is probably just going to lead to a lot of sexual frustration. I'm mad at myself for not being brave enough to tell him. I mean I could call him up pretty much anytime, he's my friend. He knows that I'm not straight, most likely. Like I said though, what would I gain? If he liked me he would have made it apparent by now somehow, right? When I talked to him today, he was talking about how he's going to ask out two girls tomorrow. I think it's obvious what that means. So it's like there's not point to even thinking about being attracted to him in the first place, but it's all I've been thinking about lately.