Me and a mate heard rumours that some guy was having a party at his farm this weekend just gone. Since it's my mates last weekend here before he's joining the navy, we decided to get slaughtered, turn up and enjoy his last night out. Started at mine at 5.30 with a few beers and some shots. Then hit a pub at 7.30ish for a few pints and some whiskey. Headed to Tesco for ten a picked up a crate of 24 cans of Fosters. Normally I wouldn't touch the stuff but it was cheap, easy to carry and just overall good value for piss lager. Got a bottle of vodka as well.
Took a HELL of a lot to get to this farm. Had to walk over barbed wire fences (which I hurt my crotch on), nettles, (which we stung our hands on) and a swamp, (which we fell into). Took the bottle of vodka just to keep us going. Finally got there and started knocking back the cans. Four or so had got lost in the swamp, but we hid the rest of them and drank ten each give or take. There were a bunch of drunk girls there who we took an interest in, it was rare that we didn't have a girl on our arm which was nice as I'm sure you can imagine :D
Night moves forward and I end up alone in a tent with a girl who I've liked for over a year now. Problem is she's had a boyfriend for just about all of that. Anyway, were both a bit drunk and we start whispering, I move my hands around her body, fucking hell I'm actually getting somewhere here. "WERE'S THE BEER!?!?" comes the cry from my hammered friend. She practically runs out the tent. I can only assume she didn't want to be caught with another guy, already having a boyfriend. Dishearted, I carry on with the night.
Me and my mate find a crate of Stella thats fairly full. We proceed to finish that off. We then find some dregs of Malibu and quickly down that, burning the evidence on the fire. I then think it's a good idea to burn my shirt on the fire. My mate follows suit. It's went from cold to freezing all of sudden. Thank fuck for leather jackets.
With little alcohol left, I start chugging on cider and black. My mates dissapeared. I here he's in a tent somewhere trying to get it on with a girl. Thinking back to the fact that he ruined my chance, I go over and start kicking the tent telling him to get his ass out here right now. He's not amused :)
A little more drinking and it's 5am now. Time to depart me thinks considering it's bordering on arctic cold, we have nowhere to sleep and people are getting drowsey and less entertaining. Were slaughtered at this point, and very happy with ourselves. We call a taxi and make our way back to the road. Not before coming across a tractor though and trying to start and steal it, thinking we'll save ourselves a fair this way, lol. No keys unfortunatley so were back to the taxi plan.
Eventually find it and talk nonsense to the guy all the way home. We decide to go to the pub (despite knowing it's closed). The streets are empty except for one guy. An example of how drunk my friend was; Me: "A'ight mate?" The Guy: "A'ight" My Friend "A'ight lads, how you doing?" Me: "Dude, there's only one person there...". Anyway, we arrive at the pub, closed, suprise suprise. We make our way to the cinema, thinking we'll go see RockNRolla for the hell of it. Closed as well. The nerve. McDonalds is open, but there not serving for another 15 minutes. "What not even these chocolate muffins?" "No sir". Damn. Eventually we call another taxi, head to another mates house and crash on there sofa. Not before I help myself to a bowl of cornflakes however! Woke up two hours later, looking an absoloute mess and feeling even worse.
Fucking good night!