Well I know I'm expected to be a good sport and lose graciously but...I fuckin' won't, I'm really pissed off regardless of what any one says but in my defense I'll say it's the shortest work I've ever done and I couldn't really be arsed with it because of my real project "Face in the Sand" and if anyone brings this loss ever again I swear I will rip you a new asshole :)

lol

im scared...

At 8/12/07 02:37 AM, Phantom wrote: A paragraph of anger venting.

Calm down Phantom. You're only partially correct to feel how you do. NarutoNinja's writing wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst. The spelling and grammar mistakes and the lack of substance are the only let downs. He makes some good use of language, though.
So, I doubt I'd have selected him as winner, sorry NarutoNinja. But I don't think we should be encouraging your writing as it currently is because, in complete honesty, it's not so good. You need to practice a lot more and learn how to make better use of linguistic features and all that jazz. There were some good parts, though; "A satisfying resistance." That really shows the character's feelings. I think that character's are your strong point but the story lacked any real drama or resolution. Nothing really happened.
I forget who wrote the screenplay but that was better. I didn't read it all but the person who wrote it does have a better grasp of language than NarutoNinja. Although, as far as creative writing goes for the purposes of being read, a screenplay clearly isn't the way to go. So the only real problem was the style of it.
Phantom, although you have good spelling and grammar, your story fealt clumsy as I read it. It's clear you haven't proof-read it because there are a number of errors but those aren't really the problem. It felt like I was dragging myself through it, to the end, and every sentence was another tough obstacle to get over. I'm sure you can do better but your story wasn't really so good either.
My winner would've been SouleMan. I would've liked to have said that a story could've won but none of them are really that good. SouleMan with his screenplay, though, has written clearly and professionally. Although it may not be the best medium for telling a written story, he has used it well and without any great flaws.
Having said that, it was clearly a tough choice. SouleMan, in a way, didn't really stand much of a chance for picking to write it as a screenplay. It's a less enjoyable form of writing and is generally an uncomplete version of a film. It would've been a tough choice between NarutoNinja and Phantom. I have to be honest and say that I didn't particularly enjoy either but NarutoNinja's story didn't feel like a chore to read as much as Phantom's, so I'd have swung a vote that way too.
I hope you all improve for next time and hopefully I'll be around to enter when that comes around too.
Congratulations to all of you and I hope you don't all see this post as uneccessary criticism and come to burn me at the stake. Please take what I've said as constructive because I only want you to do better in the future.
Peace and Love! =D

At 8/12/07 08:09 AM, Schmut wrote:

At 8/12/07 02:37 AM, Phantom wrote: A paragraph of anger venting.

Calm down Phantom. You're only partially correct to feel how you do. NarutoNinja's writing wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst. The spelling and grammar mistakes and the lack of substance are the only let downs. He makes some good use of language, though.
So, I doubt I'd have selected him as winner, sorry NarutoNinja. But I don't think we should be encouraging your writing as it currently is because, in complete honesty, it's not so good. You need to practice a lot more and learn how to make better use of linguistic features and all that jazz. There were some good parts, though; "A satisfying resistance." That really shows the character's feelings. I think that character's are your strong point but the story lacked any real drama or resolution. Nothing really happened.
I forget who wrote the screenplay but that was better. I didn't read it all but the person who wrote it does have a better grasp of language than NarutoNinja. Although, as far as creative writing goes for the purposes of being read, a screenplay clearly isn't the way to go. So the only real problem was the style of it.
Phantom, although you have good spelling and grammar, your story fealt clumsy as I read it. It's clear you haven't proof-read it because there are a number of errors but those aren't really the problem. It felt like I was dragging myself through it, to the end, and every sentence was another tough obstacle to get over. I'm sure you can do better but your story wasn't really so good either.
My winner would've been SouleMan. I would've liked to have said that a story could've won but none of them are really that good. SouleMan with his screenplay, though, has written clearly and professionally. Although it may not be the best medium for telling a written story, he has used it well and without any great flaws.
Having said that, it was clearly a tough choice. SouleMan, in a way, didn't really stand much of a chance for picking to write it as a screenplay. It's a less enjoyable form of writing and is generally an uncomplete version of a film. It would've been a tough choice between NarutoNinja and Phantom. I have to be honest and say that I didn't particularly enjoy either but NarutoNinja's story didn't feel like a chore to read as much as Phantom's, so I'd have swung a vote that way too.
I hope you all improve for next time and hopefully I'll be around to enter when that comes around too.
Congratulations to all of you and I hope you don't all see this post as uneccessary criticism and come to burn me at the stake. Please take what I've said as constructive because I only want you to do better in the future.
Peace and Love! =D

i understand what your saying but once again I'll tell you guys that i write like that because its my job, its what i do. Plus i wrote this within 2 hours so im suprised you wouldve chose me as a winner. My story was meant to end like that. It was supposed to leave you guessing. Some think thats the best way to write a script is to leave the audience guessing. But to some it just seems like a incomplete project. personally i like those kind of endings sometimes. Plus this story was based on an expeirence told to me by my dad, but the real ending wasnt as dramatic as the one in the script. And because it was based on a real expeirence in my fathers life, i couldnt make up to much stuff. Pretty much everything you read up until the end was pure truth. But Thanks alot Schmut for picking me, I personally think everyone who entered in this comp has potential and will definatly improve if they keep it up. Thanks again.

At 8/12/07 02:51 PM, SouleMan86 wrote: My story was meant to end like that. It was supposed to leave you guessing. Some think thats the best way to write a script is to leave the audience guessing.

I completely agree with that. I love to leave multiple explanations open and let audiences make up their own minds and I also love subtle clues to be left everywhere... or even subtle things that make the mystery even harder to figure out if you notice them.
I feel that the film linked in my sig does that sort of thing. I wrote it and my friend loved it. Since it was made I've heard a lot of good things about it. I tried to explain the concept to somebody and she found it difficult to understand but thought the idea was great. That's a success in my eyes.
I'm doing a film-making course at college and I'm particularly interested in writing, so I do write screen-plays from time to time. It's just sometimes a bit difficult because I'm more used to writing short stories. I need to practice my script-writing skills a bit.

Yeah some people just dont get it. I dont know if you watched The Sopranos or even heard of it (I saw you live in the U.K so you probably havnt) But its like that ending, I think they could have had a little more resolution but overall i think that ending was Genious dispite all the controversy.

I watched your movie on YouTube, Its pretty good and well written. It definatly shouldve gotten more than 2 stars. But what the hell do they know anyway, its YouTube! They give 5 stars to some guy popping his zit. o yeah, Was that you in the video?

Anyway I'll probably be posting more stuff on the news section of the userpage incase you want to check out more of my work.

At 8/12/07 05:22 PM, SouleMan86 wrote: Stuff

Yep, I've watched the Sopranos. It's a great show.
Thanks for checking out the film. Not many of the people who've watched it have voted on it and whoever did was a tad harsh, I agree. That isn't me in it but in the future, I'm going to try and have a part in every film I make, particularly if I direct them. Alfred Hitchcock did it and I just think it's a great sort of trademark to have. The guy in the film was actually a drama student at my old school. My friend who directed the film picked out the cast of two, on his own and I wasn't around on the shoot.
I'll check out your stuff when you post more in your news.

At 8/12/07 08:09 AM, Schmut wrote: stuff

thanks, this will help me improve and make it "enjoyable"

I suffer a severe case of lazyness and writers block. trying to fix. :(

At 8/12/07 05:50 PM, naruto-ninja999 wrote:

I suffer a severe case of lazyness and writers block. trying to fix. :(

I was the same at your age. Writers block is something that can never be cured. It will always come when you don't want it to. Getting rid of laziness is a gradual process and I think I only started getting over it recently.
However, it could be that I'm lazier during college than while on holiday in which case a cruel irony has been dictating my life.
Anyway, I'm glad you were mature enough to take my criticism as onstructed instead of bitching about it. You show more maturity than most of Newground's thirteen year olds and I respect that.

At 8/11/07 02:03 AM, Phantom wrote:

At 8/10/07 09:13 PM, gunground wrote: Alright, time is up. Monkeyv, choose your favorite story in the selection. That person shall be named winner

How come he's judge? Beh I guess I can't be one since I entered, right? Still next time let me know if you want me as judge so that I don't enter.

Alright, you and monkey can be judges EXCEPT when you enter a contest. WOuldn't really make it fair :P

Anyway my latest project, "Face in the Sand" is complete and I would like some one here to proof read it so it would be ready to be posted, anyone who can do it can contact me over AIM-(Phantom EGB), MSN-(ghost_phantom@012.net.il). or ICQ-(325278813).

Hey guys, I have an the final draft of scene one for my screenplay, it's on my userpage. Hope you like it.

At 8/13/07 05:00 PM, blamninja1 wrote: Hey guys, I have an the final draft of scene one for my screenplay, it's on my userpage. Hope you like it.

Awsomeness. Nice concept. It was a little hard to read, though. 9/10

I copied and pasted from my Notepad, it had a bit more width in Notepad. So that's why it's hard to read.
Glad you liked it.

Do you guys post your own stories in the writers club?

Curses! Writer's block again! I just wrote a four page article for myarcadeplanet.com and that wiped everything outta me. =(

At 8/13/07 09:11 PM, 1Housefan wrote: Curses! Writer's block again! I just wrote a four page article for myarcadeplanet.com and that wiped everything outta me. =(

wow that sucks.

At 8/13/07 05:14 PM, Sir-Grimlord wrote: Do you guys post your own stories in the writers club?

ya, of course

At 8/13/07 05:14 PM, Sir-Grimlord wrote: Do you guys post your own stories in the writers club?

Well we don't take other people's stories if that's what you mean. Anyway I know someone replied about proof reading my story but I don't know who, so whoever e-mailed me, show yourself :P

At 8/13/07 09:11 PM, 1Housefan wrote: Curses! Writer's block again! I just wrote a four page article for myarcadeplanet.com and that wiped everything outta me. =(

Snap.

Ficwad is back up! W()()T!

At 8/13/07 05:14 PM, Sir-Grimlord wrote: Do you guys post your own stories in the writers club?

yes as a matter of fact we do, its pretty great cuz of the story thread banning.

At 8/11/07 04:46 PM, MonkeyV wrote: lordjaric, i like all the action in yours, it would also make a nice movie.

If you liked the story so far, chapter 4 is done.

Poetry,short storys, and synopsises are very encouraged throughout the club. However, i will allow music lyrics making, however i frown upon it since it has very little to do with writing

At 8/14/07 09:00 PM, gunground wrote: Poetry,short storys, and synopsises are very encouraged throughout the club. However, i will allow music lyrics making, however i frown upon it since it has very little to do with writing

... unless the song lyrics make a good story. then i believe its just like poetry or typical writing, except you can dance to it. (hopefully...)

Ok I'm sorry, but I changed my screenplay again, this time it's the end of the tournament, not the begining. "today is the finale", not "today is the begining". So thats the only change for it, I move on to scene 2.

Hello everybody! I love to write. I'm currently writing a novel. I will eventually start posting my novel chapters on my homepage. I have always loved to write and read. So, I'd appreciate it if you'd accept me into your club, thank you.

P.S. My user name is named after a character in my book, but which one?

We're glad to hear it :). All storys of all kinds are allowed, as long as they are appropiate.

OK whoever took my story to be proof read in here still hasn't returned it and I'm getting fucking pissed, how about some one else does it from here and ONLY address me through AIM, MSN or ICQ as I said before, not my fucking e-mail.

At 8/16/07 03:16 AM, Phantom wrote: OK whoever took my story to be proof read in here still hasn't returned it and I'm getting fucking pissed, how about some one else does it from here and ONLY address me through AIM, MSN or ICQ as I said before, not my fucking e-mail.

I'll proof-read it for you if you're still looking for someone too. I just added you as a contact on MSN messenger, so message me whenever you get online and I'll get back to you.
I'll be leaving myself online all day, just about, but I won't always be at my computer. If I don't reply for a while it's because I'm off doing something else but otherwise, I'll reply as quickly as possible so you can have this story proof-read and done with.

Hey everyone! I've posted the prolouge and Chapter 1 on my homepage.
Link to homepage
My story is a fantasy adventure. The prolouge is mainly a basis for the world, describing what it is and how it started. Its only a page long though. I'll be posting Chapter 2 when I've finished it!