let it be known that computer screens do not like semen , no matter what , dont let the semen get onto your comp's screen , i once masturbated and it went to all kind of different directions and some of it hit the screen , man that was such a pain cleaning it .
I once did it so hard I actually bruised the end of it. Imagine my face in the afternoon when I felt like a wank and seeing that.
You see the wine bottle? It WAS full!
Spore Club- The best game in production. Join.
I am the Hydra cut off my head two come back. That's a lot of bad teeth.
I got really horny one night and pulled me cock out started to toss, because it was raining outside and thundering, this lightning bolt hit outside my garden, scared me and i cummed all over my TV screen....
Aaron4400
At 7/3/07 04:37 PM, Aaron4400 wrote: I got really horny one night and pulled me cock out started to toss, because it was raining outside and thundering, this lightning bolt hit outside my garden, scared me and i cummed all over my TV screen....
That's god's way of telling you "I'm watching you"
naahh I'm just scaring you.
My momma caught me once when I was much younger.
Be an Original
I was phone-fapping with a chick for the first time, and it got on my glasses.
Let it be known that cum is much harder to get off your glasses than anything else I've ever experienced. If there's not a water source nearby, you're going to be dealing with smeared glasses for the rest of the day.
Slash's call
was absorbed
by the darkness.
I tryed to suck myself once...Almost snaped my spine >.<.
geez, clean my bed man. i felt like it in a random place... and now i cleaned my bed. nono. got a new one. get a new bed
While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...
If i could be any fictional character it would be god...
CS:S Name; [Swest] Swedish Elite Soldier
My quick hiding maneuver is to pull my shirt over my penis, then just keep think to who ever's intruding "Yeah... Get out!"
well i was doin it whilst on the computer them my mom came in so i stuck it back in my trousersand she said "why does it smell of matches in here?" so i had to assure her that i wasnt playing with matches because mine smells like either cat food or parrafin oh and i had to change my pants
if you cant read this say "hip hop tough but totally gay underneath"
I JACKED OFF AND DIDN'T WIPE MY HANDS OFF AND I HAVEN'T JACKED OFF IN 3 DAYS AND THERE'S CUM EVERYWHERE AND I'M TYPING THIS WITH CUM ON MY HANDS AND MY BROTHER HAS TO USE THE COMPUTER WHEN I'M SLEEPING AFTER I GOT DONE JACKING OFF WITH CUM ON MY HANDS
"It's sad. All these kids have to do school at home. Homeschooling. How long until a teacher fucks one of her students?" - Mark Normand
At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...
Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her. Then I'd learn that she'd been secretly fingering herself to me while she slept. She later revealed that while I was asleep, she would jack me off and I wouldn't notice because I was such a heavy sleeper or passed out. Later revealing that we fantasized about fucking each other, naturally we both had incest fetishes. So I'd have her sit on my dick and start fucking her until I'm about ready to jack off, then I'd blow a load inside her mouth and finger her until she comes all in MY mouth, then we'd swap cum and then we'd pour it all back into her mouth so she can spit it back onto my cock, and she can suck it again.
"It's sad. All these kids have to do school at home. Homeschooling. How long until a teacher fucks one of her students?" - Mark Normand
At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...
Btw how old is she?
"It's sad. All these kids have to do school at home. Homeschooling. How long until a teacher fucks one of her students?" - Mark Normand
At 7/9/07 03:59 AM, numbers wrote:
Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her.
where's the applause smiley...
Already Disturbed.
At 7/9/07 04:03 AM, numbers wrote:At 7/5/07 09:52 PM, Sebbe58 wrote: While i was mastubating once my sister walked in on me, lucky i had a blaket over my knees and she didnt notice...Btw how old is she?
Shes 19
If i could be any fictional character it would be god...
CS:S Name; [Swest] Swedish Elite Soldier
Alright, I'm just stoned enough right now to tell everyone this.
Once, my cock was chaffing, and I decided to jack off anyway...
And by the end, I had open sores on my dick...
Fuck, the next day, when I took a shower I got some shampoo n' shit in the sore.
Jesus Christ, most pain I've ever been in, in my entire life.
I once did it 23 times - in a row to porn.
Damn I was chafed but I went right to sleep after... I cleaned up everything that is.
one time i was beatin it in the boys bathroom and heard some1 walking in and i quickly walked out and went to the urinals to make it loook like i was peeing (no1 would use the toilets unless they were beatting it) but as i was walking to the urinals my penis was still out and it pretty big and hard to miss and i came alover the floor and i dont kno if the kid saw me did it or not but i kno he sliped in it lol
i kno my profile said i was a girl that was a thing my riends told me to do for a post
At 7/7/07 01:05 PM, mastermalpass wrote: My quick hiding maneuver is to pull my shirt over my penis, then just keep think to who ever's intruding "Yeah... Get out!"
Sometimes I do it on the stall, lol. And if someone manages to get the locked door open, I just let go of my penis. And say "Didn't think it was THAT big now, didya?"
A mistake during this process would have to be using my left hand... It just, gives you a cramp in your arm and takes a good 20 minutes.... Not worth it.
At 7/9/07 04:04 AM, rithel wrote:At 7/9/07 03:59 AM, numbers wrote:
Hey - if I were you, and that was MY sister, I wouldn't hide in a BLANKET. I'd WHIP that shit out with my big ass boner and tell her that I'd secretly been jacking off to her.
Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, thanks.
Rawr Sabres fan.
One time I stuck a banana up there, and it was overripe!
Every thread I touch, dies.
The only person that has ever walked in on me was my girlfriend, oddly enough. And she gave me shit for monthes after that.
At 6/18/07 05:14 PM, Durken316 wrote:At 6/18/07 05:12 PM, Hellian00 wrote: I once did it too much and too fast, so now I have a spot where I rubbed off scin.me too
i did it one so hard it hurt for a while
ive got three growths on my cock where i rubbed off skin, and where it healed itself.
After reading more than the second half of this thread, I have to say that numbers is one sick motherfucker.
Srsly, tho, entertaining thread.
when i was younger, i wass in my basement, who was my brothers room and i thought iwas home alone, soi started watching mtve nad eventually start wanking, and after a while i hear some noise, and i look up and my brother is lying on his bed and asking me what i am doing..... long time ago, now i live by myslef most of the time and i can do it anytime i want, but when there is really no chance of getting caught it isn´t as fun anymore,
Well, one day i tried suck my own dick and found out that i actually can do it and then for sme reason i jerked my head back and got whiplash.
one time i was doing it and my mom walked in on me and as she was yelling at to not look up porn i relisized i could almost finish so i rub my penis under my shirt (wich is hard cuz i have hebrew blood so i have a very large penis) and my mom saw me do it admedietly and thats ow i got kicked out of the house
At 6/22/07 04:05 AM, Hellian00 wrote: I once accidentally punched my balls. I then doubbled over from reflex and cummed on my face.
HAHAHAHAHA
Dude, fucking ace.
