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I can't fucking stand little kids.

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I just can't stand being around them anymore. Now, don't get me wrong. I like kids. I hope I can be a father one day. But, to be bothered by one is like a taste of Hell gone bad. I've had a few encounters with them, and I'll tell you about a few.

1. I was a Papa Gino's a few weeks ago. They had an arcade machine, a Simpson's bowling one. While waiting for the people to make my respectable cheese pizza, I go to examine the brightly colored machine. Not play it. Then the little one comes. A boy, about 3 years, quickly runs up to me and pushes me. I stumbled back because of surprise, not because of the push. I swear. "THISA MINE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. I'm bewildered, because this all happened in les than 7 seconds. I realized that what he had said was, "This is mine!". "Uh.." I replied. Here comes the part where I started to hate him. The little guy purposely falls and starts to cry. At that exact moment, my pizza was ready, so I grabbed it and paid for it. When I turned around, the little boy had gotten his father and the manager. "Uh.." I said again. I was forced to leave. I had gotten my pizza, at least. But I couldn't retrieve my fucking Dr. Pepper.

2. My next story happens to take place at a restraunt as well. A Macaroni Grill. I was there for Mother's day. After I had ordered, a little chubby girl, about 5, ran up behind me and squeezed my next from behind the booth and started to squeeze my neck as hard as she could. "YOU'RE MY BOYYYYYFRIEND!" she squeeled. In reaction to my lack of precious oxygen, I pushed her away. She started to cry even louder than the boy at Papa Gino's. Now, everyone in the restraunt is staring at me with that. "You son of a fucking asshole." look. She ruined my poor mother's evening.

I'll add more of my times should I find some more. I hope I don't.


you were so high you chewed on candle wax for like an hour | Join the TF2 club.

(Gamertag: FrostedButts25)

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:09:13


Yeah, sometimes little kids can be complete douchebags and asshats.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:11:05


When I was 12 I beat a 9 year old over the head with a piece of PVC pipe.

Felt like an asshole, but goddamnit that little shit deserved it.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:11:30


after just reading your story i want to kick a little kid in the face and mabe piss on him...... mabe

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:12:30


thats why we invented the bitchslap!

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:13:03


At 6/9/07 08:11 PM, MidnyteRayne wrote: When I was 12 I beat a 9 year old over the head with a piece of PVC pipe.

Felt like an asshole, but goddamnit that little shit deserved it.

You deserve a medal.


you were so high you chewed on candle wax for like an hour | Join the TF2 club.

(Gamertag: FrostedButts25)

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:14:24


At 6/9/07 08:13 PM, Milesaway13 wrote:
At 6/9/07 08:11 PM, MidnyteRayne wrote: When I was 12 I beat a 9 year old over the head with a piece of PVC pipe.

Felt like an asshole, but goddamnit that little shit deserved it.
You deserve a medal.

A gold super medal that can be used to beat more kids with.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:15:17


you either love em or hate em.
i swear ur being totally biased.
some kids are dipshits, others are ok.

some bake good apple pie and give it to you.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:15:24


lots more....

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:15:46


little kids are little dicks.....good spitball practice though

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:15:50


i have many small cousins. i hate them with a passion. something must be done about these little vermin.


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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:16:44


I kick kids every day, then run away.


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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:17:59


At 6/9/07 08:13 PM, Milesaway13 wrote:
At 6/9/07 08:11 PM, MidnyteRayne wrote: When I was 12 I beat a 9 year old over the head with a piece of PVC pipe.

Felt like an asshole, but goddamnit that little shit deserved it.
You deserve a medal.

Indeed.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:18:03


At 6/9/07 08:15 PM, Crazy-axe wrote: little kids are little dicks.....good spitball practice though

not to meantion punching bags and great decoys

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:18:14


I had this red neck kid named nic he was about 2 i was like 5 or six at the tiime he was bulding a toy are a coll tools toy and i said hey nic he said shut up iam busy and i said no ur not and he then proceed to pick up a atlas and hit me over the head. I almost ran to my nanns house it was like 3 nblocks away and they were keeping me there and the house stank like hillbilly. I was stuck in this house beacuse my mom contrloing ex boy friend would only let me see his parnts and not my moms.


The kitty krew and ss and bb can suck my nuts (if they had an appointment and filled out the appropriate forms and if I would let them).

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:18:59


Maybe if you weren't such a adorable little fuckbuddy the little girl would leave you alone.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:19:14


At 6/9/07 08:15 PM, killa666-4eva wrote:
some bake good apple pie and give it to you.

Where are these kids? Got to find them and get me some apple pie.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:19:41


Maybe making a thread based on an extremely biast opinion, as well as uneeded swearing, doesn't really help anyone. Kids can be anoying, but they barely ever do stuff liek that. Most are good, some are just confused, and if a 3 year old pushes you down, and a 5 year old girl can strangle youo do death, and you retaliate with hitting them, maybe it is you who is childish.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:20:52


little kids are basically dumber then an orange


The newgrounds secrets

A Fourm Post Should Be Like A Skirt, Long Enough To Cover The Subject, But Short Enough To Keep Things Interesting.

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:21:36


These two lesbians (literally) moved into the house next door to me a long time ago now. Their kids are these little five year old cunts who will grow up thinking homosexuality is normal.

Seriously, I told one of them to call one of his mams a lesbian, and he did.

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:24:40


I've just remembered another moment of kid hating bliss from my past. This is similar to story #2.

3. Me, two of my friends and my older brother were walking around the mall when a little black girl ran up to me and seized my hand. "You're my husband!" she chimed, then proceeded to chew on my middle finger. My friends laughed. I pulled my finger away quickly, cutting my finger on her tooth. It was a bad cut, too. Blood oozed quickly. And yet, she actually followed my friends and I to my older brothers car. We told her that I left a gift for her back in the mall and that we'd wait for her. She squeeled, "I love you and we're gonna have a princess!", then ran off. We hauled ass. I haven't been to that mall since.


you were so high you chewed on candle wax for like an hour | Join the TF2 club.

(Gamertag: FrostedButts25)

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:27:19


At 6/9/07 08:19 PM, ripoffhitman wrote: Maybe making a thread based on an extremely biast opinion, as well as uneeded swearing, doesn't really help anyone. Kids can be anoying, but they barely ever do stuff liek that. Most are good, some are just confused, and if a 3 year old pushes you down, and a 5 year old girl can strangle youo do death, and you retaliate with hitting them, maybe it is you who is childish.

First of all, the 3 year old didn't push me down. I said I stumbled back. The five year old didn't strangle me, she just caught me off gaurd.

I ddin't hit them, either. I lightly pushed them away.


you were so high you chewed on candle wax for like an hour | Join the TF2 club.

(Gamertag: FrostedButts25)

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:28:06


ignorant little bitch huh?heres something that can get kids to stop following you:give them a cookie,then when they got their back turned tell them "you fail" and shank them,then haul ass

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:28:18


pfft, they've done nothing to you.

One time, a five year old boy came into my house. He pissed on my dog and killed my whole family.

He was black, too.


Skype: the_sleuth

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:29:20


I like lolicon and some shotacon.


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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:30:36


The other day im at the park and this lil kid comes and stairs at me while im on the bench *I get it alot*

So anyway I smile and say hi, he says hi back. He then walks off and in seconds hes walked off with my skateboard, so I say to him "Hey dude can you get off my board" He says no.. Blatantly says no, So at that point I snatched it off him but his hands got cuf on the grip tape, soon some woman comes over to comfort her 6 year old and ask him the problem, he answers with "That boy hit me with his skateboard" I soon get a histericle mother shouting at me and accusing me of stuff. I replied with "tell your lil shit not to take things which arent his..

She proceeded to shout at me so I left..

wii post

Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:31:23


My 6 year old cousin is staying with us, and has been driving me mad all week. He woke me up at 11 this morning to ask me to take him on the Playstation. 11 in the morning! That's beyond ridiculous.

Then earlier tonight, I was trying to watch Doctor Who, and he was singing along to some song my brother had put on for him through head phones, I shouted for him to shut up, but he ignored me, so I went into the other room, took the headphones off him, turned the speakers off, the punched him for good measure.

Mind, he is good for winding up, since he wanted to come in my room, because I've got the only Playstation in it, but he stunk from having just been to the toilet. I told him to bugger off, because he stunk, so he went an used air freshener to try and cover the smell. I told him that smelt just as bad, so he went and took another shit to try and balance it out. I must have sent him back and forward about 5 times before he finally gave up.


Formerly TheMaster | PSN: Absurd-Ditties | Steam | Letterboxd

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:33:21


At 6/9/07 08:21 PM, Paradox wrote: Their kids are these little five year old cunts who will grow up thinking homosexuality is normal.

So?


Kuro - Puting the 'Kur' back in 'inkurable disease.'

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:34:26


At 6/9/07 08:21 PM, Paradox wrote: Their kids are these little five year old cunts who will grow up thinking homosexuality is normal.

Seriously, I told one of them to call one of his mams a lesbian, and he did.

Because, you know, it isn't normal.


Skype: the_sleuth

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Response to I can't fucking stand little kids. 2007-06-09 20:53:05


My story is probably the weirdest, most random one that you will ever hear.

I was at the city park playing my Nintendo DS when this kid comes up to me. It was either a girl or a really, really gay-looking boy, like 4 years old, and she (I'm assuming) randomly shouted, "I love you!" And I don't even look up, and I say "No, you don't." Then she screams, "I hate you!" Then (this was my mistake) I stand up, and trying to be polite about the whole thing, say "Look, I-" and that was as far as I got before she punched me in the crotch.

That was one strong 4-year-old, because that hurt! I fell over on the ground, and before I could do anything the little sh*t runs away and steals my DS stylus.

Yeah. Whatever.


"If you brought your partici-pants, put 'em on!"

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