[Talk] Me+art= ... -_- 2007-04-22 19:27:32
Warning: this thread is friggin deep, only read if you got a spare life.
Yes im bitchin, if you dont like it then i dont care. If interested, you may stay and listen to what i got to say k? Im not going to submit any other art here without anyone asking for it or whatsoever. I just want to talk and empty out my heart and my thoughts about me and art, which is also why i tagged this thread with [Talk]. I just simply want to discuss my situation and issues with art, so dont flame me without an undeniable reason. You may sorta call this an "art blog" or something. Now, ive been feeling pretty low lately. Ive put some effort here and there on various sketches. All i got is a pencil, an eraser and a bunch of blank papers. I started off the first time making fanarts of an anime i like, then i moved on making other stuffs, some selfportraits, some furry tributes etc, and they eventually ended up being submitted online. When the Art Forum was founded, i started showing off my work lil by lil. When the collabs started rising, i found something to do concerning art and i joined some of them, and i also got in on the NG Sketchbook Tour (mad props to Luis). But then over the weeks, ive been struck with art blocks and other things. Ive been browsing thru BBS instead and looking on others art and giving critiques. Im starting to think now that my art sucks dick...
I thought that if i just continued sketching, i would get better and stand out more like a decent pencil artist. But now after what ive seen here, im outmashed. What the hell was i thinking? Did i really think that i could impress anyone here with my rotten pencil sketches? With dozens of things to do in my life, i got my hands full enough than sitting and doing "art". I made a bunch of sketches for use in collabs here, but who cares? Me? There are so many bright artists out there, but im starting to realize that im not one of them. And when i say bright, i mean true artistic creative artists with lots of power in their handgrips leading their pencils on their canvas/sheets. Can this art thing possibly be my call? I once thought. Im now doubting on my so called "drawing skills". Im not an artist, im a dreamer. Ive done so many mistakes in my sketches. Dont misunderstand, i really appreciate the advices and critiques, but it has almost lost effect on me. No matter how many times i try to correct my art, it still looks like crap. Thats what it is. Because i always do something wrong on my sketches, my art stinks. I actually thought that i was doing great, but now i better put my hands down.
And i was going to participate in the Japanese Vending Machines art contest, so i started drawing, even when i already felt low and was full of doubt. Then i just stopped. No point in continuing, because i better admit it. Im outmatched, compared with the others. Everybody else is ahead me, and im way behind. That convinced me, and 2 days have passed. I cant move on. I cant keep up. I need a reason to continue. I have disappointed myself thinking that i could achieve something by holding on to this shit pencil and this shit eraser. I feel like my "art" is overlooked. What should i do? Whore out the same sketches over and over again? Hell no. My motivation has hit the bottom. Am i hearing a countdown? Does it matter if i stand up again? Or should i just rot down in the basement of Newgrounds? Maybe i should just give it up and put away the pencil, and continue with voting on flash movies and stuff. How could i think that i was worthy as a sketcher? I look at mine comparing with the others and i go like... bleh. Newgrounds got a load of good artists with cool blend style, and mine is definately not a part of this. Ive tried to do my part as good as possible, until i realized that the whole thing ive done is for nothing. How can i call all this shit "art"? Ive almost lost it. Hammi4Real? Yeah right... Im nothing.
Since the rules say that i have to post my artwork for advices and comments, ill do that. Bleh -_- You may comment or whatever, like if anyone would really care. If you decide to ignore this thread, then i clearly understand that. Im sorry if i wasted your fucking life with this if i neccesarily have to make it clear. You may move on and forget that i ever made this thread.