ok this didnt actually happen to me but to my friend (we speak openly that we both masturbate... not together!) but any way he said he was jerkin off to some lesbian porno he got from his other friends (dont ask) so any way he was jerkin off and got really into it and he had his DVD player on the floor so he was lying on his back bangin away and he forgot to lock the door so his mom went in to tell him dinner was ready but she trip on something so she started yelling on her way down and she ended up with her mouth on his cock. he said it fely\t pretty good to actually have someone on his dick. awkward

When I read this thread, my eyes got itchy and I think I've got blind a little. I'm dead serious.

I used to work at a funeral home.
Well, I'm also very hormonal.
After cleaning up a body, I'd take a 5 minute washroom break.
I honestly can't explain why my surroundings didn't hinder my HUUUNNNGGGEEERRRRRR

Also, One time I had an 8 hour masturbate-a-thon.
That night i fingered for the gold.

having to clean it out of my ear, lol. yes it got that far

At 8/21/07 09:43 PM, RedCoin wrote: When I really did go blind.

i wear glasses so u can tell how much i do it lol

Mine must b when i was, erm, exersising my wrists and then i 4got to lock the bathroom door and some1 entered and i prentended i was doin a shite with this raging boner and they were all apologizing and shit lol!

At 10/27/07 01:19 PM, sonickles wrote: ok this didnt actually happen to me but to my friend (we speak openly that we both masturbate... not together!) but any way he said he was jerkin off to some lesbian porno he got from his other friends (dont ask) so any way he was jerkin off and got really into it and he had his DVD player on the floor so he was lying on his back bangin away and he forgot to lock the door so his mom went in to tell him dinner was ready but she trip on something so she started yelling on her way down and she ended up with her mouth on his cock. he said it fely\t pretty good to actually have someone on his dick. awkward

OMG LOL! having your mum blow u off by accident, holy shit!

That must have been so fucking weird, awkward strange......

Jesus christ..

Scariest thing, screamer came up.

Caught me unawares :o

At 10/27/07 02:36 PM, BlackSapphire wrote: Scariest thing, screamer came up.

Caught me unawares :o

Lulz.

At 10/27/07 02:10 PM, b8-2-sk8-h8 wrote:

Also, One time I had an 8 hour masturbate-a-thon.
That night i fingered for the gold.

Holy jesus I hope you took a break. Also i suspect wrist spasm.

I pulled a Mighty Mouse, and that's basically when you're whacking it, you call for your mom to come up to your room to check something out, and you try and blow your load and put it away before she gets there. Unfortunately, I'm not Mighty Mouse, so I got caught red handed.

I never got caught. Hooray for me!

At 8/22/07 12:41 AM, TheGayDarthNihilus wrote: and they have parental blocks on everything. they also gave his cat back to the animal shelter.

...

I'm afraid to go and take a dump now so incase some one turns on my monitor (Doubtful seeing how my family each has a seperate pc) and they see 9 pages of diffrent posts about how people almost/never/did get caught when giveing them self some 'lonley love'.

At 2/14/07 09:45 PM, Twessel wrote: Falling off my chair and making a loud booming noise as I fell into my closet door. It was late at night, and my parents were in bed. I had to pull up my pants and exit the porn before they came in. It was a REALLY close call.

I still got in trouble for not being asleep though =[

i done that once :)

one day my sister walked in on me doing it(same age as me :P)
the next day i walked in on her doing it
akward... so i says i wont tell if u wont tell
she says u help me i help you, i chose her option. :P

last night. dick in hand. mother bursts in, im glad i was in my bed so i could quickly pull my covers over me. a close shave. but still. i wish she would knock.

At 10/27/07 10:55 AM, Lord-Lonic wrote: One time I masturbated on my dog.

I laughed so hard when i read this...

At 10/29/07 04:01 PM, nosboy-nx wrote: one day my sister walked in on me doing it(same age as me :P)
the next day i walked in on her doing it
akward... so i says i wont tell if u wont tell
she says u help me i help you, i chose her option. :P

Either lies, or the best life ever.

At 10/29/07 04:51 PM, Sashuno wrote:

At 10/29/07 04:01 PM, nosboy-nx wrote: one day my sister walked in on me doing it(same age as me :P)
the next day i walked in on her doing it
akward... so i says i wont tell if u wont tell
she says u help me i help you, i chose her option. :P

Either lies, or the best life ever.

best life EVAR! i hope :P

My sister walked in on me.

When my cum turned yellow.

realizing tha was a dud a little too late,

I was lying on the couch in my living room, alone in the house, so I started jerking off. Suddenly, someone comes up the stairs to our apartment really quickly! I'm close to finishing so I can't stop. I just barely finish as my mom walks through the door. I just managed to whip a blanket over me. She saw my underwear around my legs and I gave her some bullshit reason. She pretty much knew what was happening.

At 8/21/07 09:40 PM, Hellian00 wrote: One night, I went into my room and opened up my pron. I then proceded to begin fapping. I was about to blow my load when mom says "Dinner time". In shock, I let it all spill. My door was locked, and I had cum allover my bed/pants. I said to her "Just a sec". And she yelled "open the door". I diddn't and then my dad kicks it open(destroying the doorframe). There I am, no pants on, and clean cum off my cock/sheets/pants. It was the most silent, wierd 5 minutes of my life. He saw the porn(hentai), and said "What the fuck kind of porn is that?" It was bad. I got in troubble for keeping my door locked and having porn. He just acted like he never say my load dumped everywhere.

Call the cops because your dad busted the door. I mean, you said "Just a sec" and BAM! Caught fapping to hentai. Wait, what KIND of hentai was it?

i was jerkin off in my room and my trophy fell off the shelf and it scared me so i jumped out of the chair to make sure it didnt break, tripped over m radio and landed penis first right onto the trophy. it was a baseball tropthy and i landed on this part with the baseball bat sticking up and scratched up my cock. there also was cum all over my floor and trophy. thankfully the thing was in one piece so i wiped it off. my mom heard me fall and came in to see me masturbating when there is cum on the floor and slightly on my bed. she told me to go to sleep and ated like nothing happened. it was scary i thought i was in big trouble.

My Story:

I was looking at some XXX vids when my mom comes up and says "What are you doing" Then I minimized it and said "playing line rider" But the title was "TEEN FUCK FEST" She said nothing.

this was a close call...

i was "doin my thing" in the darkness of my room when my brother thinks it would be funny to hit me with tazer. l heard him come in just in time for me to take my hand off michael jr. once that tazer hit me my muscles contracted and my hand closed...HARD!! good thing i got away in time or i wouldnt be a man anymore!!

so im sittin there looking around for some porn and i find this great video of this chick, so im going at it and like 5 minutes in that face from the maze screamer pops up and screams.

i thought i'd broke it, and i was afraid of porn for a good week

one time I was up at like 2:00 a.m. and my moms out of town so im watching porn when my dad walks into the computer room with no pants on. I look at him and he looks at me and both of us being very tired finally realized the situation after like 10 sec. of staring and then I get up pull up my pants walk past him and say "your turn" and he says "shut the hell up" the next morning we didnt say a word to each other.

These are fucking hilarious.