Surgery on My Balls 2007-02-06 18:21:31
Yes, I had surgery on my balls. I don't know why I feel the need to tell you, but isn't the BBS for telling pointless things to one another?
Alright, its start off like this:
I'm a boyscout, and we went camping over the weekend of February 2 - February 4, the one that just came and went. So we leave Friday night, I'm all packed up and excited about this trip. One of the Troop's favorites is this one; we sleep in cabins, which is a plus and away from the restricting eyes of the adults. The draw back: we have to teach the cub scouts scouting skills, like handling an ax. God I hope I was never as annoying as those little bitches. Anyway, we get to the place, unpack, eat and chill all night (quit literally; it was 25 fucking degrees out!). We run over to the kitchen, steal some food, and eat some more until we all went to bed around 2:00 AM. I got both balls and a dick too. Everything is fine.
That day, I get up, eat breakfast, get my station (the ax and other sharp stuff) ready. I teach the kids the proper handling, storage, blah, blah, blah. Then lunch and a football game. Then more teaching to the real little kids about folding and raising the American flag while a wind chill of 10 degrees blows throughout the camp. That pissed me off a little. But I still like the camping trip so far. I serve dinner, eat dinner, then go do some skits in the main building near the camp fire. Everything is great, I'm having fun, the kids are having fun, and the parents are glad that they don't have to take care of their kids for the hour or whatever. We have a cracker barrel (like a snack time, only more adult, and with a movie) and most of the littlest kids go home. The rest stay the night in the cabins we slept in last night. Nothing wrong downstairs; still got both of my testes and a reproductive organ.
So I'm kicked over to the main building, which has some bunks upstairs, but not enough. So I now have to sleep downstairs on the floor. Luckily there were some chairs I could line up and sleep on, which is so much better than the hard wood floors. Since I was a lot closer to the adults this time, it was early to bed for us. I went to bed, excited to go home and get a shower and watch TV and go on NG. I go to sleep thinking of those things. I still got 2 balls, and a dick.
I wake up at like 1:00 in the morning with excruciating pain to the testicle/scrotum region. I quietly get up and go to the bathroom to check everything out. Looks okay, feels like everything is normal. Whatever, I probably just moved my legs and crunched them. So I wait a while for the pain to go away. Still a lot of pain, if not more after 15 minutes. I decide to talk to my scoutmaster, who is a doctor. 2 testicles are on fire with pain, and a dick trying to comfort them is my situation now.
As I waddled up the stairs, I thought about what I learned in sex ed this year; penis, vagina, pregnancy, ah, things that can make you sterile. Radioactivity, chemicals, vasectomy, ah, here's what happened: I have testicular torsion. Essentially, I got my balls in a knot and they have 6 hours to live before all blood flow ceases to go there. I got the symptoms; pain, usually happens while asleep or working out. So I find my scoutmaster, and tell him "Hey Doctor K, my balls have been hurting for the last 15-20 minutes. I think I got testicular torsion" "Well son," he responded "for personal reasons I do not want to check if you have testicular torsion, but I'll take you to the hospital. So after an hour of extreme pain, we get to the emergency room. It's starting to fell like if I just take an ax and swing, my pain will go away, but I know I could get help.
After pulling some strings, Doctor K gets me in to a room after an hour and a half of waiting. That means my balls have been on fire for the past 2 and a half hours. I heard that if you end up going to 4 hours, you don't want to walk. So the doctor comes in, looks, feels and then diagnoses that I have testicular torsion. Not wanting to hear something I knew from 2 and a half fucking hours ago, I told him just that, only without the fuck. He told me to wait another half an hour before he could get a surgeon and an OR ready. I was ready to punch some one.
My parents were notified as I was wheeled to the OR to have a guy peek around and hopefully untie my balls. It's now 4 in the morning, and I have barely got any sleep. You know, pain is a good wake me up. I go into surgery, and 45 minutes later, I got balls that have blood in them and no pain and some stitches down the middle of my sack. I thanked the surgeon and doctor and stayed until noon to make sure everything was going to be alright. I would have pics, but no camera at the time and the stitches would be a little graphic for the young eyes of you NGers. I don't care if you don't believe me, I'm just glad that I have all my important organs still.
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