"Listen and remember. You are Imperial Guardsmen now. It does not matter to me wheter you come from Catachan or Valhalla. I don't care whether you are a volunteer or were rounded up by an enlistmnet gang. I will teach you to march like Imperial Guardsmen. I will teach you to maintain and fire your lasguns like Imperial Guardsmen. I will teach you to fight like Imperial Guardsmen and that means learning every dirty trick in the segmentum. Most importantly, I will teach you your duty and you will do it without hesitation, on command. The reason you will do this is because our immortal Lord, the Emperor of Mankind, owns your pityful lives, and if there is one worthwhile thing you will ever do it is to honour your debt to Him."

---Exerpt Codex: Imperial Guard, PAGE 2, top---

That's right! The new Imperial Guard codex is out! Muhahaha! I've been leaving through it and found an interesting tid-bit about the lasgun:

Laser technology is reliable and easy to replicate, and although the weapons are not the most powerful they are certainly the most trustworthy. A laser power pack will last for many shots and can be recharged from a standard power source or by exposing its thermal cells to heat or ligth. In an emergency a pack can be recharged by placing it in a fire, although such treatment tends to shorten the life of the pack and increase the probability of it failing. Many experienced fighters prefer the lasgun over more powerful weapons for these very reasons.

---Exerpt Codex: Imperial Guard, PAGE 16, topleft---

Thanks to this new bible I will be able to create a story line (Relax, the universe isn't inhabited by Guardsmen alone!) and create a more lividly background!

Ah yes, the young and upstart race. Though a lesson in the use of assault weapons is always nice, I'm going to teach them a lesson to never forget:

NEVER TRY TO OUTSHOOT A IMPERIAL GUARD ARMY!

They've got God-like firepower? So, they still have to get in range to use them though, close enough for the big guns to open up and tear them apart. 4+ armour save or not, they be dead meat when we get them in our sights!

if this is a club no just people talkin bout warhammer ill join

i collect tau and a few necrons 4 4ok and chaos 4 fantasy an a bit of lotr

Relax, though I am a Imperial Guard player, I do also collect some Tau (Mainly the battlesuits), Space Marines and some note worthy fantasy models.

Though we make fun of other races, its only for shits and giggles, not as a taunt or something like that. I respect every race in the 40k universe, no exeptions!

Whats the name of your Tau leader? Does he feel like appearing in a sprite comic? I've been writing the script the past few weeks and the appearance of the Tau would be highly apreciated.

his name is Glaurin and i just asked he says "_" i fink thats a yes as long as u tell me wher to find it

Its not a question of where, but rather when? I'm still writing it up as I type this and my subordinate is still busy like a little servo skull creating the sprites required for the comic. I'm hoping to get started round the end of the year.

But please, do describe to me what your character looks like (colours and special details). Does he wear a crisis suit or is he an Etherael? What kind of wargear does he use and if he wears a crisis suit, does he have bodyguards and drones?

hes an ethereal he wears lightnin blue and white robes

i was having a fucking hilarious time driving my hellhound through a street full of marines, who couldn't move out the way, and letting my cadians follow it to the objective. Just as we were about a turns drive from the objective, a group of death company appeared from out a building, and blew up the tank from the back. my 'guards tried to fight back, but the blood angel shits started slicing through them. the survivors shit a brik and scarpered, leaving the commisar to pull up his collar, mutter "if u want something doing, do it yourself". He charged at the marines full pelt, his german-esque trench coat billowing behind him, powersword at the ready, only to have his head bitten of by an angry death company sergeant.

Oh the humanity!

most annoying game i ever played, unless you count the one when i took on the necrons for the first time. (this was when they where originally released, not the latest ones with glowy guns) They where fucking gettin right on my tits. you shoot 'em and they just get back up again on the next turn!

Oh, i stil need stuff on marine training, please, please, please. i can't find barely any info on the matter!

SeedyKay - Which chapter if I might ask? The training divers per chapter.

Ah, I'll post some of the Inquisition story later this night (I'm European, so there!).

And for 10.000 credits Imperial the final question!

Which weapon of mass destruction is depicted next to the Cadian Relic Bearer?

I think that Warhammer Fantasy is 100X better then Warhammer 40k

so far its based around the space wolf boys on fenris. i finished shooting training (bloody difficult to complete) but i need more ideas for things to put in the game as training.

Two day late, but anyway, enjoy.

I’m standing knee deep in gore. My left arm is broken and my hellgun missing. My only defence is my trusted hellpistol, but quite useless now as I use my right arm to cradle the broken counterpart. The pain is overwhelming and tears fill my eyes because of the pain. It’s still out there, hunting me, at it’s own leisure. It could have killed me ten times over. I’m doomed and the fact that it knows it makes it even more fun. I can’t even call for back up, it ripped out my comm.-link with the first attack, then broke my arm and snapped the hellgun in two. It then darted off, laughing its sickening sweet laughter. I screamed in rage, terror and fear. But as I calmed down and pulled myself together I knew I had to at least try and escape. For the last hour I’ve been in this sewer, with almost no vision and an overwhelming pain blocking my senses. It was as if it was herding me. But where to I do not know…

I can see light, so it must be an exit. And this is were it has herded me, to the exit where I will be killed at the last moment. The light is deformed by shapes at the end of it. I dial my targetter into a zoom and can see a large grey armoured shape moving into my direction. Salvation? I stand still for a moment and let the zoom look more closely. Salvation! It’s Brother Malachai, thundering forward in his Terminator armour. I raise a hand in warning, but it is too late as I’m slammed of my feet by something from behind. I scream out as I land on my broken arm, quickly turning to face my attacker with my sidearm. I raise it at its face. It simply laughed its sweet laugh in reply. “You wouldn’t hurt me, now would you?” It moaned at me. I grit my teeth as I pull the trigger once, sending a lasbolts towards its head. It nimbly dodged the bolt and snipped the barrel off the pistol. It grabbed me by the throat with a warm hand and pulled me close to its face. “You cannot resist!” The daemonette hissed as she brought her claw up for the killing blow. Everything seemed to slow down as the claw went down, her face in anxiety of my demise. I closed my eyes and prayed to the Emperor as I awaited the killing blow. The blow did not come. As I opened my eyes I could see the left gauntlet of Brother Malachai closed around the claw. The daemonette snarled in annoyance. “You cannot resist my beauty!” She screamed as the gauntlet snaps shut and pulls of the claw in a spurt of vile sweet smelling blood. Brother Malachai raises his storm bolter and presses the trigger, blasting her torso open at close range, spattering me in its vile blood. I drop into the muck once more, again screaming out in pain as I again land on my broken arm. Before I lost consciousness I could feel Brother Malachai carefully picking me up in his large gauntlets and carry me away, towards the light.

"We stood there, each facing each other, weapons at our side. I stared into its cold pupiless eye. The sounds of the battle around me faded, the sounds of the screams and death that had so haunted my dreams was vanquished for those brief few moments. slowly my hand reached to my side and drew my blade from its pouch. the ork followed, dropping his empty weapon to the floor and unclipping his crude knife from his tattered leather belt. i slowly drew my arm forward, till it was pointed directly out in front of me, extended another foot with the cruel weapon in my grasp. the blade sliding down like a hellish claw. Then the Ork lept.

It threw its massive bulk towards me, i barely had time to dodge, as its knife sliced through my jacket, glancing the flak armour beneath. The ork span on itsd heels, blade out on the side, ready to take a side swipe at my neck, but i had expected this. I ducked as the knife flew over me, and i rose up, with my knife held aloft. The blade was keen and the Ork was soft. i felt only the slightest resistance as i rammed the knife through the orks jaw, killing it and preventing it screaming in one move. i looked into those cold eyes once more. they weren't as deep and ominous when the point of a cadian bayonet was sticking through one of them.

I released the knife and watched the ork slump in a heap on the floor. i slowly picked up my rifle, discharged, reloaded and cocked it, just as the explosions and murder crept into my ears and skull once more..."

At 9/2/03 02:25 PM, SeedyKay wrote: "I looked into those cold eyes once more. they weren't as deep and ominous when the point of a Cadian bayonet was sticking through one of them."

Oooh, I like this one

I have for you all a simple lesson.

*Hangs his head in annoyance*

Erm, I've put the movie making on a hold until I can master flash and have the time to do so, in the meantime I'm working on the comic.

I have almost zero time for flash, with my temporairy job as a IT consultant at a small company as a school assigment and the arrival of my beloved army deal (the big one with all the Imperial Guard things I need) I've been practicing my painting techniques. At the job however, I've found that the several moments of doing nothing on a day are excellently filled with writing out ideas and forming these into stories.

Later this evening I'll post a new 40k weapon in its sprited glory.

*screeches to a hault tired and injured* Sorry for the long time no post I have been in constant combat with Necrons bleh bloody hell The battles are long and fierce...Both sides have lost many but I swear upon the hive mind WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS!

~Last Quote of the Genestealer cult of The Tremors~

Yes cultists only run like little ants in fear of perfection they will bow to even the orcs...bah such lowly humans....Have at you Marines for you are my true challenge!

Oh, crud, you're on to me...*reaches for laspistol and aims it at head* I have failed in keeping a secret well hidden.

But anyway, *tosses laspistol away* the weapon won't be posted this evening, it's a tad ugly imho. Dorkboy gave me a Catachan Kiss* for that remark and showed me the door. The weapon for todays showcase was the new Imperial Guard issue plasma gun (Don't worry my powerfull Marine allies, the Space Marine version is next on the program alongside the cooker** and powerfist, which will be universal for all Imperial and heretic models.)

Moving on...

In other news today. A new threat has been sighted amongst the Imperial lines. Rumors have spread of super guardsmen are reigning supreme against traitors and xeno alike. (Think of this: The new codex states that Imperial officers can carry up to a hundred(100!) points worth of wargear and medals*.)

Sad is the grievious loss of the Leman Russ Exterminator, who is no longer available to Imperial Guard forces and the noble chapter of Fenris. (Deleted from the new Imperial Guard codex, if the IG can't use it, neither can the Space Wolves!)

And here's the weather forecast: A high chance of Tyranid Mysetic spores over the fortress world of Kessel tonight, traitor droppods over Cadia and a blistering blizzard is raging over Fenris.

This was the Inquisitorial improved propaganda channel, signing off. *Lights go out and i start scratching my nose*

Admendum.

* Catachan Kiss - Guard slang for a headbutt.
** Cooker - Meltagun.
*** Medals - Shiney object mostly used as a status symbol, party item, pimping tool or as a boost for a persone. These boosts include no instant death, superior tactics and the abilty to boost the persona's stats to that of a Heroic Senior Officer (I.E. you can turn a normal guardsman into a Colonel, only without the fancy wargear.)

Lo and behold, a Sanctioned Psyker with odd looking staff and a Adaptus Sororitas member (A.K.A. Sisters of Battle), they aint Guard, happy?

A truly massive battle would pitch the Tyranids against the the Guard.

Ah, you don't have to worry about me killing or wounding you. I'm kind of a wuss ya know, I even take the worst verbal abuse without saying something in return, quite spine less eh?

Cause I am not the one dishing out the retribution.

Salena is the person who does that. She busts balls, kicks ass and protects me from all the dangers in the forty first millenium.

In a certain painfull recollection were I got several shattered ribs from a chaos termie (It's a painfull and rather shamefull moment) I got taunted over and over again by the standard bearer at the field hospital. I can take that kind of abuse, but Sal can't. So she kinda, broke his nose with her left boot. (Not to mention the painfull knee in the crotch thing that men don't do to eachother...)

But, she's a good lass, loyal, headstrong, over protective and a shoulder to lean on. Just the way I like her.

Ah, the 'nid has returned, excellent. And yes, Imperial Guard versus Tyranids are almost always the most spectacular when it comes to the number of models fielded and the massacres that are taking place. Maybe I'll take a crack at a Guard versus 'Nid story to.

Ah, one last note: please keep the barracks talk about me and Sal in a bush 'pushing' to a minimum, we are afterall a civilised race(Us Cadians are!) and not some piece of xeno slime (especially those Eldar with their mock civilisation) or a upstart race with ambitions to rule the galaxy for their 'greater good'

EMPEROR IS WHOM WE SERVE!

EMPEROR IS FOR WHOM WE KILL!

EMPEROR IS FOR WHOM WE DIE!

Nyu ^-^

***The story of how I broke my ribs and how Sal broke Harris his nose***

Rain softly pattered down from the heavens, creating a soft rhythm of patters on my cap and armour. I would enjoy this scene more, but I'm face down in the mud now, avoiding sniper fire from the enemy. I know that at least one of us is down, but who?

Our orders were simple: Advance through the ruins and use a cooker to cut through an iron door that barricades our entrance into a maze of underground bunkers and other military installations. Once at the door, we simply had to open it and let the Kasrkin do a thorough search and clear while we kept an close eye on the surface for any escaping troops or traitors.

The execution went well until about half a click away from the objective. A single snipers hot stalled our advance to a halt. One of us is down and nobody dares to rise and advance. Heck, even taking a peek can cost dearly!

"Jansen! Get up here!" I shout into the mic. In reply I get nothing but static. Not good. "Sal? Check on Jansen." Damn, if Jansen got his head blown of, who will open that door now? My thought were confirmed. "He bought it alright." A shrill whistle came through the receiver. "Oh man, half his head is missing. That’s one hell of a shot." I offer a silent prayer to the Emperor for his soul and think of a plan. "Sal, strip him of the cooker and bring it to me. No arguments, just bring me the gun." I reply and quickly cut of the mic. Its crazy, but its the only shot I got.

Sal crawls towards me with the gear of Jansen. I unsnap my carapace armour and reach out for the meltagun power pack. Sal pulls it back and looks at me with a look of anger and fear. "Give me the cooker, its the only shot we got." She crawls over and snaps it onto my armour. "Don't worry. I'll be fine, no crazy hero antics for me this time." She hands me the meltagun which I sling over my shoulder. "You promise?" I pull on the heat resistant gloves and grab my helmet. "I promise, Officers word." I put my hand on her shoulder for a second and don the helmet. "As soon as I crawl towards the gate, give the order for a covering fire of some sort. I don't care what you use, anything but the mortar." She slams her palm against my right shoulder pad in reply and as a sign of good luck.

I crawl into a ditch and start to crawl towards the gate.

The rain is pouring down in more volume now. Good, more cover for me. I've inched my way through the mud towards the door. I can see it now, unguarded with no sentries, no pillboxes, no defences whatsoever. I allow myself a quick grin as I can hear the fusillade behind me end and the sudden eruption of battle cries. They're advancing again. Perfect. I get up into a crouch and unsling the meltagun. Carefully I power the gun up and check to see the valve reading a healthy green. It's almost go-time.

I whisper a silent prayer to myself. "Dear Emperor, though I am not a fanatic, guide me and my aim in the destruction of this door. Failing that, guide me in my battle against the enemies behind it. If that too fails, take care of Sal for me, she's a tough one, but she could always use the extra help."

I get up and dart towards the gate, the meltagun uneasily held in my hands. I reach the door and look for the locking mechanism. It's decorated with a eight pointed star. Feeling nausea rise I quickly aim the meltagun and pull the trigger, the meltagun giving a high whine as it powers up, fusing the metal into a white hot molten slag in a split second. I let go of the trigger and give the door a almighty kick. It creeks open. I can hear my men behind me in the distance.

I turn around and hold the meltagun triumphantly in the air. "Victory!" I yell. I do a little dance as more men appear. They seem to be pointing at me, or perhaps the door. Some are waving franticly to get down. "..ucking idiot! Get down! Behind you!" The receiver screams. I carefully lower the meltagun and scratch my nose. If it was behind me all the time it would have killed me already. Better play this cool. "You've been standing here all the time?" I ask matter of factly at my unseen enemy. "Yes, you dance pretty funny for a weakling." A dark and ancient voice grovelled. I slowly turn around and almost soil my fatigues. Standing in the doorway, five metres tall, autocannon in one hand, chainfist in the other, his armour of a dull metal decorated with yellow and black bands, a Iron Warrior Terminator... "You're big..." I stammer, but I quickly gain my quick wit. "But you know what they say about big people right?" He raises a eyebrow in reply before answering. "That you can be more easily crushed beneath my boot right?"

Great, he has no sense of humour...

yo

anyone here remember the olden days? i was thinking about some of the cool stuff u can't get anymore, like imperial guard land speeders. and what the hell happened to the squats? did they go the same way as the necrons did when they were first released? (although i don't think the squats have much chance of making a comeback!)

do any of you remember this stuff from back when we still had space-marine crusades?

it would be interesting to see what other 'golden oldies' everyone can remember!

GW couldn't make enough money out of the squats and thus according to official fluff, they were wiped out by the Tyranids

Ah, about the Squats and Imperial Guard speeders.

In the codex it clearly states that those armies that had one or more of these units or vehicles was pre heresy. After the heresy mutants were more thoroughly checked for purity (and usefullness, Ogryns are needed for they're brute strength and ratlings are snipers, though I F*CKING HATE THOSE SCI-FI HOBBITS!)

The squats were actually nothing more then space dwarfs. And I think that GW wanted to get rid of the fantasy in space thing. (Almost every 40k race has a fantasy counterpart. I'll put a list down below.)

As for the disapearance of the anti-grav vehicles, I'm not sure. Maybe they wanted it to be Marine only. Land Raiders were once a common sight in the Imperial guard, but after the heresy all remaining Land Raiders were to be transferred to the loyalist chapters.

Talking about the heresy makes me want to show some stuff thats pre-heresy.
Pre Heresy pattern Warhound Scout Titan
Pre Heresy Land Raider Pre Heresy Dreadnought Pre Heresy Venerable Dreadnought Pre Heresy Grey Knights Dreadnought

The list.

Space Marines - Bretonians
Imperial Guard - The Empire
Sisters of Battle - Sisters of Sigmar (Mordheim)
Chaos Space Marines - Chaos
Eldar - High Elves and Wood Elves (Eldar Rangers)
Dark Eldar - Dark Elves
Orks - Orcs
Necrons - Tomb Kings
Tau - Not a frigging idea
Tyranids - Perhaps the Skaven, not sure...

P.S.

I'll post the painfull conclusion of the story lateron

It stopped raining, perhaps the Emperor wanted me to die in a dramatic manner. "So, you are going to kill me now ‘aight?" I ask as I slowly inch my right hand towards the trigger. He gave a wicked smile. "Yes, please, do give a good fight, the last fight was so pathetic, these Kasrkin didn't even make me break a sweat." Bad move. My hand shoots towards the trigger as I dive aside to bring the meltagun up. He simply engaged his chain fist and started to stride forward with heavy footfalls. I pull the trigger with closed eyes and aim the nozzle in his general direction as he thrusts his chain fist forward. No pain? I slowly open my eyes and see the meltagun has turned his chain fist into a solid lump of metal.

Salvation? Not by a long shot...

"A lucky shot welp. But it takes more than that to stop me. And I think that this solid block of metal is more then enough to kill you!" He swats me aside, making me slam into the wall. "Aagh! You fragging traitor!" Several ribs broken, cracked and bruised. I slip onto the floor, holding my chest with both arms. A dark shadow covers me. He is standing before me, rising his left leg. "I told you that you would be crushed. Now you will die like that corpse on the golden throne of..." He didn't finish his sentence, instead red blood bubbled from his mouth. Did I get him? "Get away! He tipping over!" I feel a strong hand grab me and pull me away as he tips over and smashes into the wall. "The harder you fall..." I whisper as I see a power sword rammed into the back of his neck armour.

I look up at my saviour, who is already lighting a fat cigar before retrieving his sword. "Thank you corporal." I tell the giant who planted a boot in the corpse and after much force pulled his blade free. "Don't mention it." He puffed out a cloud of grey smoke and turned to our position. "Signals! Order the advance! Lesp, get a stretcher over here! First and second squad provide overwatch, three, four and five search that sniper, he's still out there!" Though only a corporal, he had every bit of authority needed as an aide. I pull of my helmet and release the clamps of the power pack, easing the pain slightly. "Am I really that stupid?" I ask. "Between you and me sir?" I nodded. "Yes, you are one stupid son of a bitch that’s lucky to be still alive!" I can hear several men running over. "But, I don't think you'll survive this encounter." He turns and starts barking orders at individual troopers.

"Idiot!" Sal shouts as she punches me in the face. "Yep, you got that right." I rub my painful cheek. "But I'm still alive and kicking." The medical outpost is mostly deserted, the only patients me, Jansen who's being tagged and bagged and some guys from first platoon. "Here's comes trouble..." Lesp hisses at me as he sees the regimental banner between a group of men. "I see that you got your ass kicked again boy!" Sergeant Harris chided with a sneer. "You really are pathetic! You know that!" He shouted the last words so everybody could hear it. "You couldn't even beat a Tau in close combat. Wuss!" I look at him with disinterest as he continues to taunt me. Some people never change. Most men gather round the raving sergeant as he keeps on screaming and taunting away. They know I ignore these things.

But Sal doesn't...

"Shut up!" She shouts at him, getting up and balling her fists at her side. "Ah, did I offend you? It's not my fault that he's such a wimp." Sal raises her fists in a challenge. "Sal, don't get rash, he's not worth it." Oops... Did I just say that he isn't worth it. "What did you say!" Harris hands the banner to a trooper and tears his helmet of. "Give me your best shot girly!" Bad move. Sal brings her knee up to his crotch, making him stoop over, then kicks him square in the face, a loud and audible crack accompanying the kick. Ouch! Harris lands backwards in the mud, out cold. "Medic!" Sal shouts in mock as she wipes her hands on her jacket. Two orderlies drag him away and some men cheer. She walks over to me with a smirk. "Netxt time I'll shove that banner up his personal eye of terror!"

+++

So there you have it, never piss of a girl thats stronger than you.

Soon I'll present to you al something big, bad and a total icon of the Imperial might!

Stay tuned!

*Drops into a lazy recliner and turns on the television (Or whatever they have i the 40k universe.) and turns it to the IAINN(Inquisitorial Approved Imperial News Network)*

Inquisitor Snikkit: "The latest news about the Wonderboys! The once so popular boyband that came out of nowhere, their carreers rising like the Emperors ascention have plummeted down like the heresy! They are nothing more then Slaaneshi cultists! It is even confirmed that the manager is a traitor marine. Sorry girls, please burn all your records, papers and pictures of them or we'll come over to your place. WE KNOW WERE YOU LIFE!"

*I turn it to the sports channel in annoyance.*
Marneus Calgar with a tie clipped onto his armor: "This wil prove to be a bloody match! The Dark Angel Deathwing versus the Venerable Space Wolves Honour Guard! The first touchdown is the winner. And here's the kick off! The ball is in possession of the Wolves but here comes Asmodai! Oh! That is one fine tackle! Wait, what's this! Oooh! The tackled Space Wolf decides to get even! Look at that arm fly! The referee decides to make a run for it folks as it seems that both teams are duking it out! Tune in next week for the sixth rematch!"

*Sighs deeply at the stupid match and turns to the mystery channel*
Inquisitor Mulder and Inquisitor Skully investigate another Daemon case. This show sucks, they always end with the same message: "The truth is out there..."

*Goes to a random channel*
Daemonette of Slaanesh: "Adult all the time all the way! join us for some re.."

*Quickly switches away from the dirty channel*
Commissar Yarrick on a uni-cycle wheels onto the screen. "Hey there kids! Join the Imperial Guard now!"
Commander Dante tapdances ontot he screen, grabs a daemon by the throat, rips out a organ and start twisiting it like a balloon animal. "Join the Adaptus Astartes! We need strong kiddies like you to serve the Emperor! Join us now and get a free intestine animal!" Dante folds the bloody organ into a giraffe. "Tadaaa!"

*Switches of the television in frustration and tosses the remote away.* "Great, now what am I supposed to do..."

*A Blood Angel commander, Space Wolves commander, Dark Angels sergeant and a hive Tyrant enter the room through the wall in roars of anger and violence. The hive Tyrant dribbles saliva onto the carpet.* "You promised something big, instead you linger on the couch!" *The Tyrant keeps on spilling saliva as the Space Wolf pulls out a frostblade and the Blood Angel powers up his lightning claws.*

"Look guys, there's no need to hurt me! As far as I can see you should kill eachother of first!" *i point at the Space Wolf and Dark Angel* "You two, have you forgotten about the Lion and the Wolf?" *They look at eachother and start hacking at eachother.* "Space Marine! Kill the alien! Hey, bugboy! You look hungry, the guy in red is canned meat!" *They to start fighting, al the while I make my escape.*

"Suckers!"

My ribs still hurt from that encounter, but I showed that guy who's that man!

Actually, he showed me who the man really was, but he's dead and I'm still alive.

I leave with you this question.
What weighs a 316 tonnes, carries enough weapons to level a small city and has the speed that is lumbers and grinds everything in its path?