Sex with Jessica Alba!

[MR-HOMO]

OK, so you've won a game show. The prize? Sex.

With Alba. Jessica Alba.

HOT!

But there's a catch. You can't just have straight up sex with her. There are options.

A) Sex with Jessica Alba's dead body.

B) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Gene Hackman.

C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

D) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but afterwards she cuts your head off.

E) Sex with Jessica Alba, but she's in a coma.

F) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't get an erection.

G) Sex with Jessica Alba, but from the moment it's done you're rendered completely blind and mute.

H) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you're physically on fire the entire time.

I) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you accidentally trip and tear your penis in half.

J) Sex with Jessica Alba, but your parents are watching.

What would you choose? I may add some other options later on.

Of course, there is the option to not have sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't substitute her for another person. You sickos.

[bigexplosions]

H.

Because I'm used to fire.

[ulumuluguy]

e of course, common sense i guess
but i dont think shes hot so id rather not have secks wit her

[The-Real-Giovanni]

I would choose zzxcvcb because thats cooler

[Mind-Edge]

lolo J.

[Enoll]

J beacuse I wouldn't care.
I'd donkey punch her.

[DarkDragonVX]

haha E?

[kidray76]

At 9/28/06 10:22 AM, Clunes wrote: OK, so you've won a game show. The prize? Sex.

With Alba. Jessica Alba.

HOT!

But there's a catch. You can't just have straight up sex with her. There are options.

A) Sex with Jessica Alba's dead body.

Other optoins are better. Besides, rotting carcuss probably wouldn't feel good.

B) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Gene Hackman.

Sure, I can go first.

C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

Shit, sounds good to me. I'm down for that.

D) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but afterwards she cuts your head off.

Umm, no. No pussy is that good to die for.

E) Sex with Jessica Alba, but she's in a coma.

Naw, no fun in that.

F) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't get an erection.

Then it's not sex for me then?

G) Sex with Jessica Alba, but from the moment it's done you're rendered completely blind and mute.

Doens't mean I can't nut just the same. And it's only for a moment.

H) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you're physically on fire the entire time.

No, it would hurt.

I) Sex with Jessica Alba, but you accidentally trip and tear your penis in half.

No sex for me. So no.

J) Sex with Jessica Alba, but your parents are watching.

No, just no.

[Rabid-Echidna]

J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.

[DumbassDude]

E, because she is not dead and she wont complain.

[iscrulz]

F.) So I can eat her out. then make her suckle on my drooping cook until she chokes on it.

[Whooter]

Most definately E.

[MR-HOMO]

At 9/28/06 10:37 AM, Rabid wrote: J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.

Winner.

[DJWhiteRice]

F, because...I'm female.

[MR-HOMO]

At 9/28/06 10:44 AM, DJWhiteRice wrote: F, because...I'm female.

You know, there's also an option to just not have sex with Alba. But cool, ignore that option, it's hotter that way.

[Obliquo]

J, so my parents can witness the greatest thing ever achieved by man.

[Makaveli]

J. Because.. I don't really care...

[Silver-Glint]

B.. Because I can't get an erection..

Why did I take part in this? *shakes head*

[MR-HOMO]

UPDATE:

Some more options for y'all.

K) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she has a sandpaper vagina and you get major chafing on your weiner.

L) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she's got no hair and her mouth has been sewned together.

M) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but you can't concentrate because you also have to fly a plane that's about to crash into a mountain.

[SirSalt]

At 9/28/06 10:25 AM, ulumuluguy wrote: e of course, common sense i guess
but i dont think shes hot so id rather not have secks wit her

E. But "Secks"? lmao

[TheSoulMan]

At 9/28/06 10:54 AM, Clunes wrote: UPDATE:

Some more options for y'all.

K) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she has a sandpaper vagina and you get major chafing on your weiner.

Defianately, I choose K. Hotness.

[Jossos]

At 9/28/06 10:54 AM, Clunes wrote:
L) You have sex with Jessica Alba, but she's got no hair and her mouth has been sewned together.

You'd think that would take away from her hotness, but obviously not =/

[SuckMeLongTime]

At 9/28/06 10:22 AM, Clunes wrote:

C) Sex with Jessica Alba, alive, but in a threesome with Rob Schneider.

I wouldn't mind. He's pretty fucking hillarious anyway.

[SuckMeLongTime]

At 9/28/06 10:37 AM, Rabid wrote: J, so they can witness firsthand one of my greatest achievements.

Actually, thwy would just witness it. If they witness it first hand... Let's just say you would have a long talk with your therapist.

[Zel0s]

I'd pick J for sure. It's not like I'd have to watch my parents doing her.

[Rustygames]

shes not so hot

Can I just have Rob Schneider?

[Evark]

J is the clear choice here. It's the only choice that doesn't punish YOU, but instead punishes a 3rd party.

Honestly, who would ever want to watch their child have sex with someone else? I know I wouldn't. I'm betting my parents would avert their eyes or something.

So J is the clear answer.

[FuckingGenius]

Why is Jessica Alba so damn popular?

Her tits are small and there's at least 500 women out there with a body exactly like hers. The only thing I consider popular any more are giant tits, or a women with a mouth coming out of her vagina.

[FullyLoaded]

Lol
D) she can try
E) why not?
J) blindfold them :)