NG's Official Cookbook

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NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:13:20

I've seen some people posting recipes so I decided NG should have it's own cookbook. Post a recipe or comment on others.
-Chocolate Pancakes-
Chocolate Syrup
Pancake Mix
Heat the stove on Medium and put butter on a pan. Stir the butter till it covers the pan.
Mix the chocolate syrup nd pancake mix untill it feels like normal pancake mix. Add a bit of butter and surgar and cook. When a lot of bubbles appear, flip it and wait a few seconds and remove it. Put on icing and enjoy!

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:17:46

If you're drinking or something dope and have a major case of the munchies this little number is cheap,tasty and easy to make:

3 waffles - birds eye if you have them

Just grill the 3 waffles.Cook of the bacon.When the waffles are just about done place the bacon and cheese in between the two layers. Let the cheese melt and hey presto! you now have a savage snack.

NG's Official Cookbook

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:20:06

Chocolate coke

-melted chocolate

Pour chocolate in coke





Kuro - Puting the 'Kur' back in 'inkurable disease.'

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:22:50

-sex in your mouth-(recipe by me)
2 sticks of butter
2 bags of chocolate chips
pillsburry dough bot cookie dough(sugar cookire/cinnamon)
ice cream

put the butter and chocolate chips in pot. heat until melted. put into the middle of some flattened dough while still hot. make it all into a ball. bake for 5-10 minutes or until crispy. place in bowl. lather with ice cream/sprinkels. eat dat shit

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:23:16


375 grams cooked meat (leftovers will do)
60 grams butter
50 grams flour
100 ml gravy
200 ml water
10 grams gelatine (make it soft in some water)
1 onion
1 egg yolk

Lightly fry in the butter a very fine chopped onion, add flour,
then gravy and water. This will make the sauce.

Add the gelatine, egg yolk, pepper, nutmeg and salt. Then
add the chopped meat. Spread the mixture on a pre-wetted
plate. Let it cool (it will get thick).
Use to spoons to form 10 equal croquette shapes. Roll in
breadcrumbs, then through egg white (whish egg white a bit
first) and again roll in breadcrumbs.

Take it easy and don't crack the outer layer. Fry in hot oil.

P.S. If you don't want to use gelatine, then instead of 50grams
of flour and butter use 75 grams of each.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:23:31

Heres a recipy for,

Krinkles and madness.

First, make a madness combat tribute.

Second, Have krinkles reply to it.

3rd, reveiw on his reveiw and have it say OMG you are god!

last, he will make your tribute into an acual madness.

Now enjoy and dont mix it with sugar, it may cuase explosion.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:25:03

-Grandpa's Chocolate Cake-

- Go down at the grocery store
- Buy a McCain chocolate cake
- Scarf it down like hot cakes.

You're my banana

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:29:43


1 pot oil
bread crumbs
egg batter
deer balls

Take deer balls and roll in egg batter. Nest roll in flour and bread crumbs. After that heat up oil. Put deer balls in oil until fried.

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:30:46

Heres a recipe for
-teh cadny-
1.Sneak up behind wade
2.Take -teh cadny-
3.Wade will attack you conversation erupts
Wade: You took the cadny!
Bedn: O RLY?
Wade: YA RLY!
Bedn: Har har I gots the cadny
5. Escape!

This signature is not true

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:37:18

Mayonnaise Chicken
Cover chicken parts with mayo. Cover them with bread crumbs and crackers. Top off with some parmassian cheese. Bake at 425 for 40 minutes.

Coconut Noodles
Boil some coconut juice. Add asian type of noodles. Dump some precooked Shrimp. Add some purree jalapenos if you like it slightly hot. (This recipe was from an NG member... I forgot who... it's good.)

Mushroom Chicken
Dump 2 cans of mushroom soap and a can of chicken broath in a crock pot. Add a whole chicken. Let it slow cook for several hours. (Great recipe to have if you work all day and don't want to cook when you come back home...) You can add as many vegetables an hour before serving.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:37:21

The Gooch Christmas Milkshake
Two or three large scoops of vanilla ice cream
A long squirt of chocolate syrup
Some Milk
A handful of chocolate chips
A couple of peppermints, or two mini candy canes, whichever's present at your house
Whipped Cream
Red and Green Christmas Sugar

Basically all that needs to be done is put the ice cream, chocolate syrup, milk, chocolate chips, and the peppermints in a blender and mix them up thoroughly. Then pour the shake into a cup and top it off with a spoonful of whipped cream and sprinkle red and green sugar on top of it.

A recipe I found.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:42:01

Another recipe for.....

candy cane.

1st, buy a tnt from zehers.

2nd, melt the tnt for shape.

3rd, go to newgrounds and play a game wile waiting for the tnt to cool.

4th, ad white stripes on the tnt.

last, add some fire for flavour.

Warning: I am not responcable for if it blows up in your mouth. Its made to throw it at your nabour.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:42:23

A Gay Cowboy Movie

1 DVD of Brokeback Mountain
2 chocolate pudding cups
2 gay coyboys

mix and enjoy!

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:50:37

I love talking about cooking and such, seeing as how I am a chef (pastry chef though). I will definately have to post some more of my own recipes later on, I do have some good ones. But I warn you, they can be a bit unorganized and sloppy... because thats the kind of person I am (haha). But anyway, one of my favorite and simple things to make is Manicotti

Manicotti (one of my personal favorites, which I shall now share with you)

Ingredients are the following:

.::One 12 ounce package of Mozzerella cheese. (Grated!)
.::One 8 ounce can of Spinach (dont worry, I dont like spinach either, but it somehow taste good in this recipe)
.::One medium sized container of Ricotta cheese (dont know how many ounces, but my guess would be around 24)
.::Some parmesian cheese (grated)
.::Two large eggs
.::2 Teaspoons of salt
.::1 tablespoon of sugar
.::Tomato Sauce (however much you want, but shouldnt be too much, maybe 5 to 8 tablespoons)
.::For this, you will obviously need Manicotti shells. Jumbo shells preferably (you will know why later).

1.) In a fairly large bowl (I mean, BIG) mix together the following ingredients: The Ricotta cheese, the eggs, the Spinach (make sure its drained COMPLETELY from the can), one half of the Mozzerella cheese (6 ounces), about 5 pinches of Parmesian cheese, the salt, and the sugar. Mix until very well blended (It should look white, but with a green tint, and it should have the spots of green [spinach])

2.) Boil a pot of water. Once the water is boiling, add a teaspoon or two of salt to the water. After that, drop the Manocotti shells into the water, and leave the pot UNCOVERED. Be sure to stir the mixture constantly. The shells are ready when they are soft, like your normal pasta. (Al-dente I believe is the word)

3.) After draining the shells, set them aside, and preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Here comes the "fun" part. Next, you have to take the pasta shells, (remember, they do look tubular) and fill them each with a good amount of the mixture that was previously made. This is tedious, but...trust me guys, after you take one bite of the final product, and its alllll worth it. Anyway, keep filling those, and filling.

4.) Next, you have to grease (I use extra virgin olive oil to grease my pan) a 13 by 9 inch cooking pan, preferably glass. After greasing, set all the filled manocotti pasta into that pan. You will have to do some alligning and arranging, but it shouldnt be too much of a hassle. Once you have done that, put the tomato sauce all over the top of the manicotti. Do so, until it looks about evenly distributed. Next, put the remaining half of the shredded mozzerella cheese on top.

5.) Were almost done. Very little left. Before putting the pan into the oven, YOU MUST put aluminum foil to cover the pan, on the top. The reasoning for this is so that the mozzerella cheese does not burn while the manocotti is still baking. After putting the foil, NOW you can put the pan into the already preheated 375 degree oven. The entire thing cooks for approxamately 40 minutes, however, there still is one more step. After 30 to 35 minutes of the manicotti already cooking, you must remove the foil, and then let it bake again for the remaining 5 to 10 minutes. We didnt want the mozzerella cheese to burn, but we dont want it not to melt either. After the 40 minutes are up, take out of the oven, and let it stand for 5 minutes, so it can cool down. It will serve a family of 4 or 5, but 2 hungry men can easily wolf this down.

Here is a picture that I found on google. I dont think any picture can truely do this meal justice. Not to mention, the smell is absolutely fantastic. I recommend everyone doing this right now because it seriously is the greatest type of pasta ever. Anyway, thank you for your time.

NG's Official Cookbook

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:53:27

Uncle Chuck's Cheese Cake

1 1/2 c Graham cracker crumbs
1/4 c Sugar
1/3 c Margarine; or butter; melted
16 oz Softened cream cheese
14 oz Eagle swt.condensed.milk
3 Eggs
1/4 c Real lemon lemon juice
8 oz Sour cream at room temp
21 oz Cheery pie filling; cold

Preheat oven to 300 degrees. (Go liberate a small country while you wait.)

Combine crumbs, sugar, and margarine press firmly on bottom of 9-inch spring form pan. (I find back fist the best technique.)

In large mixer bowl, beat cheese until fluffy. Gradually beat in sweetened condensed milk until smooth. (About 3-6 round houses.)

Add eggs and Real Lemon, mix well. ( Hook kicks for best results.)

Pour into prepared pan. (Tell it to get in the pan or else.)

Bake 50-55 minutes or until center is set; top with sour cream. (Or about 17 beard strokes.)

Bake 5 minutes longer. (One more for good measure.)

Cool, Chill. (Kick superman’s ass and make him blow on it.)

Top with pie filling. (Gently.)

Refrigerate leftovers. (There better be no damn leftovers.)

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 18:59:59

Claytons recipe for: disaster
2)one steak
3)Popcorn Chicken
4)2 gallons Vanilla Ice Cream
5)10 Cans of Spray Paint

Fry a pan and when its hot, shoot 3 spray paint cans all over it. Add the steak, wait about 4 seconds, and then throw the ice cream on there. Get the chicken, and smash it in the pan. Shoot the rest of the Spray Paint on there.
By now, your kicthen (if not house) should be on fire. Call 911, and wait for the fire department.
Go to McDonalds, and order a Big Mac.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 19:02:15


Toast bread.

If you want to get real fancy for that dinner your boss is coming to you can put some butter on the toast.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2005-12-30 19:09:18

best hot chocolate
chocolate syrup
Whipped Cream

process: Put the milk in a pan, and let it sit for about 4 minutes.
In a mug, put a milkyway and some marshmellows in first. Next, pour the chocolate syrup in the milk. stir, bla bla bla, then pour the hot chocolate in. Add some whipped Cream to the top.
This will make the regular hot chocolate taste very rich. Reccomended to be made right after you have been shoveling. Enjoy
(note: this is an actual recipe that i do, unlike the spray paint thing i said eariler.)

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 01:51:05

Oh man, being an amatuer chef, I could easily put in so many wonderful recipies I have, but i'll have to look through my cooking notes upstairs at another time.

"In this world // We walk on the roof of hell, // Gazing at flowers." -- Issa

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 02:24:58

Ramen Noodles

Put two cups of h20 in to a small to medium sized stainless steel thermal absorbant pot. Place the pot on to a powerful thermal heating element. Cause the thermal heating element to reach maximum tempurature. Wait until the h20 contained within the stainless steel pot and the thermal heating element come to thermal equalibrium, at which point the liquid H20 should be rapidly forming a gas.

Take the thin plastic holding container of dehydrated compounded H20, NaCl, grown wheat, and kansui water in to your hand. Remove the compounded "ramen noodle" wafer from the thin plastic package in some fasion. Put the wafer in to the rapidly evaporating water, and allow the noodles to reside there for 180 seconds. Using a hardened utensil of some kind, seperate and increase motion to the noodles durring the 180 second time frame.

After the 180 seconds have passed, remove the stainless steel pot from the thermal heating element, with the now seperated compounded noodles inside. Take the thin aluminzed plastic container filled with the flavouring compound, and tear it open. Gently empty the contents of the container in to the stainless steel container of noodles, whilst moving the noodles in a clockwise circular direction with your hardened utensil, mixing the falling compound in with the noodles and thermally heated water. Once the contents of the aluminized plastic have been emptied, and the compound thoroughly mixed with the noodles, allow the mixture to come to 5-10 degrees centigrate above thermal equalibrium with the air tempurature.

Relax and consume.

I could probably make it even more complicated, but I'm tired.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 02:28:26

Hot Pockets
-Remove plastic wrapping
-place in microwave
-set for 2:45

- ><--stick vs. sprites-->< - ><--flat beat-->< - ><--pico vs. sticks-->< -

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 02:35:24

DoM's Home Style Scrambled Eggs:


Melt cheese in microwave, preferrably in a microwavable pan.
Mix Milk and Eggs in a small pan.
Take a skillet and spatula, put mix in skillet.
Cook eggs until solid, then put melted cheese on eggs.
Stir and enjoy, you fucking emo.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 02:39:00



-Bread (white, rye, or wheat, it doesn't matter.)
-Butter (preferably not rock hard)


Place toast in toaster. Turn on the toast button. When the toaster is done toasting it will pop off. If not you might want to watch it yourself. Wait until the toast is light brown, or until your desired toasting level has been achieved.

Take the bread out. Spread the butter on the bread.

You now have toast.

Easter egg: For an extra variety use jam instead of butter.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-01-02 03:22:19

quick, someone get -Gooch- to make me a shake

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 21:09:53

go to market basket
buy a sprite

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 21:15:56

Boiling water

You need:

1. First, fill the pan with water.
2. THIS STEP IS CRUCIAL! Put pan & water on stove.
3. Turn stove on.
4. Wait until the water starts bubbling.
5. Enjoy your scalding-hot water!

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 21:52:53

I'm not exactly sure what this is called, but its awesome. Let's go with:

Matt's Pasta Surprise

What you need:
Grape tomatoes
Minced garlic
Sliced white mushrooms
Olive oil
Linguine (although any pasta will do)

What to do:
Cut about 10 or grape tomatoes in half, set aside for later.
If the mushrooms aren't already sliced, slice them.
Boil the pasta (I'm not giving instructions for that)
Drain and rinse the pasta, set to the side.
Take a pan (preferably a wok if you have one) and put in some olive oil.
Sautee the minced garlic for a bit in the oil
Once the garlic is sauteed, put in the tomatoes and mushrooms
Toss around for a bit until the tomatoes start to look cooked
Add a bit more olive oil to the pan
Put in the pasta
Toss around for a while, mixing everything together

It tastes extremely awesome and its really easy and cheap to make.

I used to be a BBS mod, plzdontban kthxbai :D

Back on a semi-intermittent basis

Bacon vodka? It's more likely than you'd think!

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 21:56:48


Bud (Light if on a diet)
Big-ass bendy straw
root beer (caffeine)

Do what ever the hell you want with it.

Copyright DAC

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 21:56:48

Suck my dick


2 eggs

a stick of butter

my dick

Mix the 2 eggs together, and blender in the stick of butter. Add the sugar to the mix. Throw it all in the garbage.

Suck my dick.

"I don't turn water to to wine but to cold coors light, I'm not Jesus I know, but I got that hydroponic shit that me and Judas grow"

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-06 22:03:24

Purple_Slurpie's Purple Slurpie.

First, you get ice, lots of ice. Like 40 lbs. you can't have enough ice.
then you get purple food coloring,
afterwards, you get a spoon full of salt
Then you dump the ice into your washer, you turn it on med-medhigh for 3 minutes. add the salt,
then then put in the food coloring.
Add four cases (yes cases, that means 24 to a case so it is some really high nimber that I can't multiply) of Crunk Juice.
Then you put on a Paper Hat to designate your 1337ness.
After wearing the hat, you make sweet love with your puerto rico ontop of the washer while it is turned on low-med power for 7.3446456457 minutes, no more, no less.

Then you scoop it out with your hands and eat it out of your Love Slave's ass.

I'm in ur plane, killin ur snakes.

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