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NG's Official Cookbook

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-06-30 02:28:02


Tangent's Egghax:

Take an egg, and soak it in vinegar for about a day. The shell will now have coagulated, making it the essence of smelly rubbery fun! Throw it at someones face. They will recoil in shock, but the egg will bounce harmlessley off. GTFO immediatley.

Person: ZOMG, EGG!

You: LOL!

Egg: Boing!

Person: WTF, HAX?

Side note - if the egg does break, the intense smell in contains will kill anyone within a 9.18735358365 ft radius intananeously.

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-08-02 12:38:51


Homemade Cereal!!!!! (OMGTEHZORZ)

-Box of Cereal
-Milk
-Bowl
-Sp00n
-A few too many beers...

1) Drink a few too many beers and wait for their effects to begin, so as to improve your coordination.
2)Pick up box of cereal and pour it into bowl.
3)Open it, you idiot.
4)Pour box of cereal into bowl. You will of course miss from your intoxication.
5)Pour milk into greatest concentration of cereal, even if it's not in the bowl.
6)Rip off your clothes.
7)Let out a bloodcurling screech so as to let those Cheerios know fear before you make a meal out of the entire colony.
8)Leap at the cereal. Be sure to knock furniture over and to let our random groans and roars.
9)Leap into the pile of cereal, knock table over and feast.
10)Wtf?


I'M AN ATHEIST LOL.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-08-02 12:42:52


Cheesey Eggs

Comments: tasty for breakfast :)

Ingredients: Eggs (amount depends on how much u want to eat)
Cheese (amount depends on same thing eggs do)
A stove
gasoline hooked up to the stove
a hand to turn on the stove..

How to make: take egg(s) and break them into a bowl, beat em up wit a egg beater thingy and put em on a pan on top of the stove and turn it on. cook scrambled eggs and add Your cheese. woolala CHEESE EGS!

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-08-02 12:44:09


:woolala

voila.


I'M AN ATHEIST LOL.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-08-02 12:45:39


My dinner most days-

You need:
A tin of beans.
Pan.

Pour beans in pan. Heat beans. Eat beans.


Formerly TheMaster | PSN: Absurd-Ditties | Steam | Letterboxd

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 20:48:27


Beef Backström.

This is, like, hamburgers but so much more awesome.

Start out with some minced meat. Chop up some beets to nice small squares.
Beet to meat ratio should be, like, 2 to 10. Then take a handful of kapers, and chop them up a few times. Not too much, we dont want a purée.

Mix the meat, kapers and beets with an egg, then form thick hamburgers.

Fry in butter, serve either as a hamburger with bread, or make a red whine sauce and accompany it with some fries.

Enjoy, damnit.


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 20:53:14


I believe cookbooks show how much of an ingredient you need.


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 20:55:40


At 12/30/05 06:20 PM, Kuro wrote: Chocolate coke

-coke
-melted chocolate

Pour chocolate in coke

Mix

Enjoy

Vomit

Die

That sounds kinda good?

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 20:57:52


At 9/27/06 08:53 PM, DancingTomato wrote: I believe cookbooks show how much of an ingredient you need.

Cooking isnt always an exact art. Rather, I rarely use cookbooks anymore, I just got a feel for how much is needed.


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 20:58:39


Extreme Yummy Delite Pop, or EYDP for short.
//5 bags of sugar.
//1 cup of water, preferably sugary.
//1 cup, preferably made of sugar.
//1 popsicle stick, perferably made with sugar.

#1: Empty the cup of water into the cup.
#2: Empty the 5 bags of sugar into the cup. Don't miss a drop.
#3: Stick the popsicle stick in somewhere.
#4: Put it in your fridge overnight.

Voila! Tasty EYDP for you!


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 21:02:34


Bitch Make Me A Sammich
4 slices of shaved Honey Ham
4 slices of Shaved Smoked turkey
4 slices of Blonine(sp?)
4 slices of Roast Beef
4 Slices of Pastrimi(sp?)
4 slices american Cheese
4 Slices of Provalone
4 Slices of Baby Swiss
2 slices of Rye Bread
Lettuce
tomato
banana peppers
mayo
mustard

If made right this sammich will be 5 inches thick.


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-09-27 21:11:08


Here is another great one.

Go to your nearest Burger King and order everything that you see anywhere. When they bring it to you, say, "Whoops, I meant a #2."


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-10-10 00:04:24


Samurai Lemon Chicken Ramen for Level 12 Holy Warriors
Items needed:
Pot, Chicken Ramen (13 cents at wal mart), stove, turkey or chicken, lemon juice, black pepper, jalapeno (optional)

Chop up a desired ammount of chicken or turkey and leave it on a cutting board.

Start boing ramen noodles. Leave on high for 2 minutes,stirring occasionally, then turn it off. After it's off leave it on the stove to finish cooking perfectly.

Just after turning off the stove, dump in as much lemon juice, pepper, jalapeno, and chicken/turkey as you want.

Get a bowl. Dump in a desired ammount of broth, then drain the rest in the sink. Dump your mixture in the bowl, and stick a fork in it.

EAT AND ENJOY!


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-10-10 20:41:04


At 10/10/06 12:34 AM, DonkeyPorker wrote: Happiness-
You+$500

amazing

And the jealocy of others tastes so good!


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-10-10 20:49:10


try this
quebec "poutine"

fresh fries
those funny lil cheese(think it mozzarella)
and brown gravy

frie the frie so the get really crispy but not overcooked.
put the cheese on it so it could melt a lil bit on the really hot fries... let it melt for 1 minute or such... add the gravy and serve


wewdiewg

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2006-10-10 21:03:06


Fyndir's favourite sammich (lol, sammich):

Serves 1 (with 2 sandwiches):

4 slices of white bread
1 vine-ripened tomato, sliced into 1-cm thick slices
romaine lettuce
4 tablespoons of mayonnaise
approximately 200 grams of sliced oven-roasted turkey

Get ingredients together. Make sandwiches thick, slice in half, serve.
Total yumtastic.

MY favourite sammich:

100 grams of mashed potatoes
100 grams of bread stuffing
90 grams of sliced turkey
40 grams of turkey gravy
2 slices of white bread

Warm all ingredients. Toast bread. Put gravy on one side of bread, smother other side of bread with mashed potatoes. Layer in stuffing and turkey.
Eat.
Yum.

I'm hungry for sammiches now.


Tsukino Usagi of the NG /a/ {Sig by cast}

A ninja may be fast, but my dick is faster.

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-01-19 23:27:03


Tomato Sandwich (inspired by me)

1 sliced tomato (thinly)
2 slices of bread (white or potato)
1 tbsp mayonaisse
knife

take 1 piece of bread.
smother in mayonaisse.
cover in tomatoes.
top with other bread slice
get a blood clot, due to mayonaisse
cut it out with knife.

ENJOY!! :D


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-01-19 23:29:56


Peanut Butter Frozen Thingys
(yea I'm uncreative)
-Mix a whole bunch of peanut butter in a bowl
-add oatmeal, brown sugar and chocolate chips
-roll them into balls
-store in fridge
-eat them when they're cold. They taste gooooood.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-01-19 23:37:13


Suicide Cake:

1) Car

2) Sharp Knife

3) Cake of any flavor, depends on what you wanna taste before you die.

Directions:

Drive your car to the bakery and decide on which cake you would like to eat. Next drive back home and shove a knife inside the cake. Now chow down and hope that somehow you can swallow a knife without having to actually cut it apart.

Tune in next week for razor blade cookies!

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-03-06 08:47:48


SOMETHING

Put Something in a bowl, and eat.

Enjoy.

Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-03-06 09:00:42


Water:

-Cheese
-Butter
-Apples
-Cookie mix
-Jell-o
-Water
-Waffles (Eggo if you have some)
-Dried Pineapple
-Ham
-Milk

Put everything in a bowl and mix for three hours. Put it in the stove to cook at 40,000C and wait twenty minutes. If your house hasn't burned down, go get some more water and drop it on the floor. Through a bit of spaghetti at your brother and then read a comic book. Sleep through winter then go munch on a cordless telephone. Hide in a cabinet and eat the letter "I" off your keyboard. Go get some water and drink it. Serves one.


There is a war going on in you're mind. People and ideas all competing for you're thoughts. And if you're thinking, you're winning.

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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-03-06 09:01:37


Quick and Easy Meal

1 Phone

1 Takeaway Menu

ENJOY


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Response to NG's Official Cookbook 2007-03-06 09:11:20


At 6/6/06 09:15 PM, CleverNickname wrote: Boiling water

You need:
Water
Stove
Pan

1. First, fill the pan with water.
2. THIS STEP IS CRUCIAL! Put pan & water on stove.
3. Turn stove on.
4. Wait until the water starts bubbling.
5. Enjoy your scalding-hot water!

By far the most delicious.....

:mmmmmm manacoti


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