At 4/15/17 04:21 AM, lumiorfo wrote:
Fine, So here goes. My fiancé wants a threesome and I do not.
Sorry for delay. Thought I posted this yesterday.
Well, I will say three things. One, someone wanting you to do something and you not wanting to do something is a recipe for headache. The reluctant party should be respected 9/10 times. Two, it's perfectly understandable for you to have changed your mind on something, especially if you've communicated that clearly. Three, surprises are great, but surprises of this nature on top of the above -- I'd feel like an accessory to a fetish at this point and be extremely reluctant to even consider it further. This is coming from someone who had no qualms jumping head first into an orgy with my partner. No pun intended. It sounds like you two have some communication issues. My s/o and I did, but less so now.
In retrospect, that orgy didn't really work out great. My fiancee wasn't really fully onboard/okay with the entire situation of someone else touching me or enthused about anyone else touching her -- but she never said anything about it until after because she was convinced it was something I wanted to do and she'd already told everyone that she would. Now, she still gets queasy about it and it's a touchy subject. I've just more accepted that it was meh and 80% sure I don't wanna fool around with another mixed group again because I got bored.
Now, you figure out which one of us you would be in the same situation, and that's probably going to be your experience if you somehow are convinced to do the deed. I'm not saying you shouldn't, but I'd definitely recommend you and she talk about it openly and constructively, i.e. not argue. Try to assess how important the issue is to her, why she wants to do it, why you don't want to do it, etc., and also why she evidently thought surprising you into having some other woman in bed with you both was a good idea when you haven't wanted it.