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Relationship Crew

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-06-05 04:52:40


At 6/5/13 04:13 AM, Vincoid wrote: I'm not implying you don't have the right frame of mind to become financially successful. What I'm saying is that both are dependent of you, your character, your frame of mind, your beliefs and your knowledge.
Looking at it that way I'm saying you might already have the right frame of mind, etc. but lack the knowledge of achieving a meaningful relationship. I'm also not saying that's a problem of any kind since at this moment you're not interested in pursuing a relationship.

But what you must keep in mind is that both DarkSoldier and I have been responding to your messages, which started out as being about relationships with friends and lack thereof. If you then read those messages as if we've been responding to your frame of mind when it comes to financial success, it won't match.
We can only respond with the information in mind that you've given us so far, not the information you have but have not given us. I love to give advice and help where I can, but I can't read minds. Not yet.

i understand that you were providing useful suggestions about my problems with my friends. at the time i was discussing my financial security, i was discussing ti as a response to my lack of passion towards changing my current standing with my friends, not as a response to your helpful suggestions

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-07-01 14:26:27


Of all places I go to I go to newgrounds...I guess I really am that broken. Well...heres my story.

I've met a girl, and no not just any, the only one I've ever felt feelings for. The only human being who has ever made me happy. We had so much in common, so much going for us, then it all fell apart. All because I lied to her...and now I have to earn her trust back, so just maybe, I can get a second chance at happiness.

It literally feels like I'm dying without her. I don't want to do anything, funny videos aren't even entertaining, games are useless now. I just feel...dead. Every time I see her, I feel that missing part of me fill up again. Every night I thought about her for hours, preventing me from getting any sleep. I want these feelings back, I want that missing part to make me whole again. No longer do I want to live in the shallow darkness I was in. I need her light to shine in me again...

I would greatly appreciate anyone's help, because for once in my life, I am fully broken and weary. My pride is crushed...and I am not afraid to admit that I have shed many tears.

She has told me, maybe one day I will be able to win her back, and I need that to be as soon as possible before I take desperate measures, and completely shut off my emotions like I have my whole life...to keep myself from being hurt.

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-07-08 04:47:13


At 7/1/13 02:26 PM, zmatt007 wrote: She has told me, maybe one day I will be able to win her back, and I need that to be as soon as possible before I take desperate measures, and completely shut off my emotions like I have my whole life...to keep myself from being hurt.

I'm going to suggest something that should be extremely easy for you to do. Be yourself.

Now by that I don't mean, be the sorry mess you are right now. I mean for you to be the person you were before, the one the girl you're talking about was attracted to.
Your problem is fairly simple. I understand that doesn't make it any less painful for you, but hear me out. You screwed up, plain and simple. If you believe that has ruined all your chances with this girl then that'll be the truth. But if you recognize that you simply made a mistake, a new experience in life to learn from, and created a result you did not desire, you allow yourself to take new actions and create a new result. So now you'll have to change your actions and create a new result, the one you've created before.
There's multiple ways to create the same result but there's none as effective as the way you've created it before. So shed off this feeling of failure, stop thinking you screwed up and starting acting like the person she fell in love with. If you don't feel like it, act like it and the feeling will follow suit.

One simple technique to start with is to change your physiology. Your brain affects your physiology and vice versa, so by changing either one, you can improve (or deteriorate) the other.
So stand/sit up straight, take deep breaths through your nose into your gut and up to the cervix, hold for a second and then breath out for a couple of seconds. This'll make you feel more relaxed and more confident. Also make sure to stop looking down. By looking down you access the kinestethic part of your brain, so looking up stops you from accessing all those negative emotions you feel right now.

Use this technique to get going, the rest you know how to do, you've done it before. Keep it up and your life will vastly improve.

Just keep in mind, you want her. But what she wants is the old you, not a pile of rubble. So give her what she wants, it'll make coming back to you much more easy for her.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-07-11 02:22:14


At 7/11/13 12:45 AM, Entice wrote: I understand. But do you think I can get another shot if I un-beta myself and see her again in a few weeks???

Definitely. You don't even have to wait a few weeks for it.

And when you guys hang out, try and see if you can end the day at a moment where she's really enjoying yourself. It'll leave her wanting more. If you drag it on and she's not really enjoying herself anymore, that's what'll stick with her. So make it easy on yourself.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-09-12 08:39:40


I've been single for 20 years.

Get on my level, bitches.


lel

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-24 02:39:43


ok so if i have a problem do i just post it here?

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-24 02:41:11


i posted this in the general section like a moron so i copy pasted my post here

im eighteen and she is my first girlfriend but i have always wanted to get with one girl and stay with her my whole life
i have been with her for around two years and the relationship is very serious we have our own place
she likes this other guy, she doesnt talk to him (like ever) but even so she wont block him on Facebook even when i said block him or i walk and she just retorted with "he hasnt done anything wrong" and of of course my counter-arguement of "neither have i" didnt have much effect. i have no problem with her liking this guy and i told her she cant help it but by not blocking him i feel like she has chosen him over me, she says she loves me and i believe her (i also believe she may have a skewed perception of what love is) she is an incredibly honest and trustworthy person and i know she would never lie to me or cheat on me or anything like that (serious i have never met somebody so honest in my life, tbh its abnormal)
so thats one problem.
another is that she is mind numbingly frigid, i get no action at all ever and haven't since the first few months of our relationship.
we make great friends and i should know because we more or less just friends who share a bed these days
i trust her completely but she has been acting real shady recently deleting her history and sleeping with her phone in her hand under the covers (also she sleeps fully clothed and i never see her naked anymore)
i have tried to get her to be less frigid for me to no avail.
i love her very much, and cant imagine my life without her but im so unhappy and i cant see myself feeling any happier without her
we argue quite a lot as well because she is really stubborn (she'll admit when she's wrong but she never thinks she is>.<)
also if we broke up, as a student who is estranged from my family (who is eighteen and has little experience of independent living ) i would have to move into our spare room and remain friends with her which would make the getting over her even harder
im just really depressed all the time, we have been through so much together from being abandoned from my family being homeless for a few months and each other is all either of us have, neither of us have any friends or anything she helped me turn my life around from being a giant loser pot head with no aspirations to a clean person doing a computing degree and im scared that if we break up il go down the wrong road again
i just need to know if its best to end it or keep trying
this thread might determine the fate of my relationship and/or life so serious answers only please
thanks

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-24 02:51:08


At your age she should want sex, a lot. Her being involved with another guy AND having zero interest in physical intimacy with you very strongly suggests she is getting physically satisfied another way.

i doubt it neither of us ever leave the house ever, she would have to be one hell of a cheater to pull it off when I'm the same room haha and she has been like this for over a year now, she's a good person and we are great friends so i would have to keep contact with her some how also rubbing her face into anything is the last of my priorities i care a great deal about her feelings

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-26 10:53:15


At 10/24/13 02:41 AM, jambrother2 wrote: she likes this other guy,

i have no problem with her liking this guy
i feel like she has chosen him over me

i get no action at all ever and haven't since the first few months of our relationship.
we more or less just friends who share a bed these days
but im so unhappy
we argue quite a lot
im just really depressed all the time
i just need to know if its best to end it or keep trying

^This sums up your post. I am going to tell you the truth and the truth is often not pretty. You claim to not have an issue with her liking this other guy yet you do have a problem. And you should have a problem about it especially if your relationship is as serious as you say it is.

You say you are unhappy in this relationship. Clearly I would be too. Relationships are supposed to be fun and exciting. You are 18 and reaching the prime of your life; do yourself a favor and do not waste your sex life on your "girl friend" who treats you more like a friend rather than a partner. She does not respect you and you have to stop defending her by saying you trust her and that she is the most honest person out there. You are being played.

Ending this relationship will the best for you. When you try to end it, she will plead for you not to. You have to be firm and take the right course of action—do not look back.


Need advice? Visit the RELATIONSHIP CREW!

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-31 08:42:47


Hi

I think that I could use a bit of help. Im a 19 year old student in my second year of university studying for a combined honours degree in History and Archaeology, and on my course is a certain girl.

Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?


BEST IN THE WORLD!

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-10-31 17:53:43


At 10/31/13 08:42 AM, SKORGE wrote: Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?

Do her actions (not her words) indicate she may like you? You will have to make a move on her either way, at least just to find out if there is some attraction or interest between you two. Take her out someplace (make sure to treat it as a friendly get together, not a date—otherwise the expectations will be too high). Then attempt to become more intimate with her. If she rejects your attempts to do so then it is a clear indication that the interest level is not there.

In sum, act now and make your move. ;-)


Need advice? Visit the RELATIONSHIP CREW!

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Response to Relationship Crew 2013-11-04 22:47:39


At 10/31/13 08:42 AM, SKORGE wrote: Hi

I think that I could use a bit of help. Im a 19 year old student in my second year of university studying for a combined honours degree in History and Archaeology, and on my course is a certain girl.

Ever since we became friends in the first year ive had feelings for her, as she likes the same things as me, we make each other laugh and all the usual things, now that were into the second year im tempted to make a move but as we share classes i dont want things to become awkwared if i make a move....so what do i do?

Ask her out. The worst that could happen she says no, then life will move on. Its better to try and go on knowing the outcome than to regret not asking and subsequently going on forever ignorant of what may have happened.

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-11-11 21:24:40


I am in need of some advice, I would post it in here but it is a pretty long post but you need to whole story of us to get the whole picture, here's is the link, i know i am asking alot for just a forum post but you guys reading it and letting me know what you think, would help alot. http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1354182

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-11-29 11:04:13


I met a girl at the beginning of this last summer while on the Disney college program in Florida. We dated a bit at first, but then I stupidly broke it off just to see what else was out there. We remained friends and even hooked up a couple of times before I moved back to my home state of Utah. She's a Florida native, but we continued to talk and our friendship grew. We skype all the time and even joke about getting married and having kids. She's told me she's interested in making our relationship more serious. She's moving to California in January and is stopping in Utah for a couple of days to visit (wink wink, nudge nudge). Anyways, I'm just wondering when it's appropriate to make things official. Is it okay to do over skype? Or should I wait until she gets here in January? And what should I say? Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

Response to Relationship Crew 2013-12-04 20:24:23


At 11/29/13 11:04 AM, CharlieJayTango wrote: I met a girl at the beginning of this last summer while on the Disney college program in Florida. We dated a bit at first, but then I stupidly broke it off just to see what else was out there. We remained friends and even hooked up a couple of times before I moved back to my home state of Utah. She's a Florida native, but we continued to talk and our friendship grew. We skype all the time and even joke about getting married and having kids. She's told me she's interested in making our relationship more serious. She's moving to California in January and is stopping in Utah for a couple of days to visit (wink wink, nudge nudge). Anyways, I'm just wondering when it's appropriate to make things official. Is it okay to do over skype? Or should I wait until she gets here in January? And what should I say? Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

First of all in this day and age of technology, it is always tempting to communicate via internet rather then calling or talking face to face. I always prefer to talk about serious matter face to face with a women. She will feel more of a connection with you rather then talking over the internet. Having her feel more connected to you is a big part of moving into a more serious relationship. Talking to her face to face also shows her that you have some balls to let your self be vulnerable.

And what should I say?

Sounds corny but tell her what you really feel but don't get to over whelmed with emotion that it pushes her back. Talk to her with confidence. The way you do that is by telling her the truth about what you're feeling for her.

Should I just ask her to be my girlfriend?

Well after you are done saying your end...shut up and listen to her. Ask her what she feels. If she is responding with smiles and good eye contact then you will feel right asking her to take it to the next level.

Hope that helped.

Response to Relationship Crew 2014-02-18 11:09:59


At 2/14/14 04:21 PM, Entice wrote: Quick question from another thread.

What happens in a situation like this? Do you think she's gonna care that much?

No. Women don't keep track. You can be awesome for years on end but fuck up once and the girl will get pissed as all hell. It works the other way around as well. You show her weakness, cowardice, etc. once but given the chance, you show her power, strength, confidence, honesty, etc. the next time, she'll test you to see if you can show her again. Show her enough times, she'll trust you.

Does honesty work? Sometimes, but is what the other guy said the truth? Or is the truth that you do now fully know what to do, how to approach? So telling what seems to be the truth isn't exactly the answer either. You just have to do what you need to do to get where you want to be without hurting anyone in the progress.

So here's why you have to keep eye contact and why she likes it:

Women have eye contact to be understood and to understand the person they're making eye contact with. You looking at her when she's making eye contact with you creates a deeper connection (which is a start and why people call it love at first sight).
Men have eye contact to assert power. People who are lower on the evolutionary scale (keep in mind that our bodies, our brains, are no adapted to 21st century life but life about 10,000 years ago) avoid eye contact so they won't get hurt. Men who do make eye contact challenge the one they're looking at which only the more powerful men would do and why keeping eye contact with a woman is so powerful. By looking away before she does you subconsciously tell her she's stronger. That's not attractive to most women, especially hot and cute girls who get quite a bit of attention all the time.
Eye contact is key. Why do you think you should never have a fucking stare down with a bear? He'll fuck you up because you're challenging him.

So that's just step one. Most guys' problem is that they think that they need to be the most interesting guy in the world and display that in the first thing they ask the girl which causes them to freeze and shut down. What actually is most important is that she feels wanted, that she feels like you're interested in her. You can't do that by telling her all about yourself, you do that by asking her about herself. And that's where the truth comes in; ask her about her. Tell her she seems interesting/hope she's interesting and ask her about anything you want. It can be something completely ridiculous, it can be anything as long as you're actually interested in it.

From there on out it's not to hard. You guys know how to talk to anyone and a girl you like is no different except for the fact that you're actually interested in getting to know them. So just chill and be yourself, enjoy the moment, have fun. That's all girls want anyway.

TL;DR: No, now talk to her.


"Never was anything great achieved without danger." - Niccolo Machiavelli

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Response to Relationship Crew 2014-07-09 12:10:16


At 6/25/14 04:39 PM, X-Gary-Gigax-X wrote: Bumping this because a user, who will at present go anonymous, has had some relationship problems, and I didn't want him to feel like he's necroposting, so I'll do it ahead of him so he feels free to post here.

This user you mention is not me, but I have to post here anyways. So I'm going to, hope you guys can help.

So as all stories like this start, there is/was a girl. Her and I met through mutual friends, and we became very close to one another as time went by. At the start of our friendship, I knew I had a thing for her. This was about March, and we rapidly became closer and closer as time went by. We grew mutual affection for each other, and eventually one day (after I had shown her Ghostbusters for the first time) she made the first move. This was about May, and it was great. We never spoke of making it "official" and we didn't refer to each other as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but we were in every sense except the label.

May bled into June, and we continued down the same path. It's probably worth mentioning that this girl is not entirely mentally stable (one can only ask so much from teenage girls) and she struggles a lot with maintaining that. I'd always been there to help her through whatever means necessary, but she felt she was putting a burden on me. Normally I'd feel like it was a burden, but with her it didn't feel that way. For the first time in a really long time, I felt like someone actually felt about me in the same way that I felt about them. Notice, however, this is past tense.

End of June comes, I had a graduation party thing and i introduced her to most of my family and all that, just as a friend of course. Given our closeness, there were the wandering eyes and knowing looks from some of the party guests, but I shrugged it off. That night she tells me she wants to make it official-er than it was before, and I was all for it. Nothing much changes except now we can call each other by that publicly and tell other people about it.

July comes. Everything is great. On Sunday night, however, I had a very wild and unexpected night in which I did some awful things (unrelated to her entirely, but still nonetheless). I made a choice to quit doing drugs for the time being, but in one final hurrah I smoked a lot of marijuana and ended up freaking myself out beyond belief. That bled into Monday morning in the wee hours with me crying in my mother's arms. Not fun.

Monday hurries on, and I'm determined to fix everything in my life having felt like I've hit rock bottom. As always, I am talking to her. She tells me she's not doing okay, and I ask about it and tell her I'm there. Among other things, she basically told me she couldn't do the relationship anymore. Considering I care about her happiness, I put on a brave face and said "Yeah, I understand." Deep down, that was not the case. We were planning on hanging out Tuesday (yesterday, now) and were still going to. She told me we would stay best friends, and I sure as hell was hoping so. I'd heard that said from girls in the past, and I have said that to girls in the past, but that never worked out as you can imagine.

So while I spend Monday night videocalling with another close friend and basically feeling terrible, Tuesday comes. I spend all day waiting for us to hang out that night. And I pick her up, and it feels okay. I gave her lots of hugs, and she helped me shave my head (my hair had been growing to a terrible length, and I always shave my head so I told her she should help me, she obliged a long time ago). Things were good, or as good as they could be. I still felt very raw from the whole thing, and I had to physically restrain myself from holding her hand as we walked down the street or pulling her in for a spontaneous kiss. That was really the hard part, because otherwise it felt pretty much the same as it always had. Minus the cutesy comments, which I miss in a way too.

On the drive home I voiced my concerns about us staying friends, and she wholeheartedly promised me that we were going to stay as close as we were leading up to when we took things up a notch. She told me I'm still the most important person in her life, and that she just couldn't handle it at the time being. I left feeling good, if not a bit empty (as to be expected).

I wake up this morning and I'm not exactly terrible, but I'm still feeling kind of stung. I'm sure you guys are all familiar with the empty, hollow feeling. I haven't eaten much in the past few days (on account of well, literally everything falling apart as I'm trying to fix it). She told me she still likes me, but then again said she's really confused. I know for a fact that I still like her, just as much as I always did. And I was genuinely feeling better last night.

But now, here I am. Trying to stomach my breakfast, dreading going to work where I'll be alone with my thoughts. And more than 70% of them will be about her, I know. I would appreciate if someone would help out, although I don't know with what. If anybody sees this and has any questions, then I can clarify. I know this was a bit of a scatterbrained post. Sorry, I guess I just need some sort of outside perspective.

Fitting tracks to my life right now: What Have I Done to Deserve This by The Pet Shop Boys and Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths.

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Response to Relationship Crew 2014-07-09 19:12:11


At 7/9/14 12:10 PM, saltovergray wrote:
I would appreciate if someone would help out, although I don't know with what. If anybody sees this and has any questions, then I can clarify.

This is what I would class as a soft breakup. Some breakups tend to end very sour, but this one not so much. You could either try to get back into a relationship with her or move on and find other women.

I get that you still like her and that is normal but if you want to get back together, I advise you distance yourself from her (cutting communication). Once she starts to miss you, there is a probable chance that she will want to get back with you. Your mysterious behavior may increase her attraction to you. After all, women love mystery.


Need advice? Visit the RELATIONSHIP CREW!

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Response to Relationship Crew 2014-07-29 12:16:23


So update on the girl that I was dealing with. I'll provide a summary at the start: Girl and I try to stay friends, she's clearly trying to get away. Mutual guy friend between us has a thing for her, makes a promise to me he won't make a move. They get together, I call her out on it and suddenly everyone gives a shit and feels bad for what they've done to me.

I told him rightfully to fuck off but I initially gave her some chance. But I couldn't keep doing it, I couldn't let her stay my friend and tell me I'm the most "important person" in her life if she's going to treat me like garbage, lie to me, and go behind my back while trying to run away from me. So today, after giving it a day of "we'll see if we can be friends" I told her to fuck right off and leave me the hell alone.

I'm glad I did it because I don't need either of their shit nor both of them together in my life at all. But it still hurts that people could even do this to me. Help me get through this NG. How do I just tell myself that I'll be okay? Ever since she actually broke up with me I've been a mess and things have been getting worse and worse. Now that I've got them out they should get better but at the same time it's like I've gotten rid of a huge part of what's become my life. How do I just bounce back from this whole thing?


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-01-06 01:07:15


At 1/5/15 04:08 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Alright y'all should help me realise who I like more. I currently like two guys and they both like me. How do I decide which one?!!?

I don't have any personal experience with this sort of thing, so I'm just brainstorming a bit here. This is probably what I'd do in this situation: date both a bit more (hang out or whatever you want to call it). I'd be totally open about it. Then maybe I'd see if I started to gravitate towards one of them a bit more than the other.

You could also get into polyamory...

Response to Relationship Crew 2015-01-07 22:19:21


At 1/6/15 01:07 AM, BrenTheMan wrote:
You could also get into polyamory...

I myself do not condone this at all. I find it unfaithful, and very; extremely ignorant. It defeats the purpose of marriage. Whatever you do, do not think of this as an option!

Moving on, I think...
You need to just straight forwardly go with your gut instinct. I personally thought I was going to die alone, and had two females "on the run" and I finally decided that one was just, better for me.

Honestly, don't lead one on, and then give her or him a heartbreak. You should know by instinct which person you prefer and is best for [strong]you[/strong]

:)

Response to Relationship Crew 2015-01-09 15:23:29


At 1/9/15 03:03 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Neither of them want me with someone else.

Then maybe I'd see if I started to gravitate towards one of them a bit more than the other.

I'm kind of thinking my heart wants one thing and my head says to do the other.

If neither of them want you, then you should stop with both of them. You want to be with somebody that wants to be with you.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-01-11 10:52:18


At 1/11/15 12:16 AM, Sensationalism wrote: They both want me, exclusively. To themselves. They don't really want me to be with someone else.
I don't know which to pick. It sucks.

Try making a pro and cons list. That helps me when I have a hard decision.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-03-09 03:55:11


At 1/12/15 01:53 PM, Sensationalism wrote: To summarize, Guy A is better according to my head and Guy B is better according to my heart.

Choosing A keeps everything the same, choosing B changes everything.

I'm in this same boat but sadly in a relationship. Question is, should I stay with my current clingy, jealous, grouchy gf or get with my best friend, who I've been head over heels for since we met, who knows it and feels the same, and who my current girlfriend hates.

Response to Relationship Crew 2015-03-27 21:38:05


At 3/18/15 09:36 AM, Cordyceps wrote: help

how do get gf??

laugh out loud

i d k

Response to Relationship Crew 2015-07-06 01:23:17


At 1/5/15 04:08 AM, Sensationalism wrote: Alright y'all should help me realise who I like more. I currently like two guys and they both like me. How do I decide which one?!!?

I don't know how old you are, but as long as you're not exclusive with either one, then I think it's okay to explore both for now. I wouldn't say it's cheat IF you are exclusive with neither of them. This is just my opinion, of course. I know a lot of other people would think other wise, but.... a relationship is a big deal and I want the best I can have, if that makes sense.


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-07-06 01:28:15


Sorry.... I should have checked the date on that last post, my apologies guys....... So I'll answer something different as to make amends to my stupidity...

At 4/17/15 03:21 AM, Entice wrote: I've been seeing a guy for about 8 weeks now and up until recently messed around with a few other people, but now I feel like I'm not interested in anyone but him and want exclusivity. How do I bring it up with him? Should I wait for him to ask me?

I don't think there is anything wrong with bringing it up to him. Maybe he feels the same way and thinks the same about it, too. I know the last relationship I was in, it took 3 months before we became exclusive and that wasn't by my choice. I think waiting a while to go exclusive was a good idea anyways...


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-11-22 04:13:25


At 3/18/15 09:13 AM, NekoMika wrote: Monogamy - One person relationship
Polyamory - Open relationship with more than two people

Some people prefer being with just one person (such as me) while others prefer being in an open relationship with many.

Funny thing, I was actually considering being into the whole polyamory thing for a while. Still wouldn't mind. But there's a story to this somewhere, so let me get on with it.

So, I broke up with my girlfriend of several months this summer after arguing continuously -- about four hours actually, to the point I didn't get any sleep and we had to work the next day. The arguing was and still is my biggest issue with being around this girl, that and how she refuses to accept responsibility for her actions, apologizes in a very general and/or insincere manner ("I'm sorry for everything" or "I'm sorry I suck/ruin everything."), and gets highly defensive and refuses to communicate otherwise. Anyway, so I told her I didn't want a relationship. Long story short, she ends up being in band with me at college.

Well, I end up getting with another girl over the course of band camp. Average sort, a little overweight, gauged ears, kind of insecure. Didn't really know her that well apart from chatting at camp. She's wiccan. Initial attraction was pretty strong on her end but I more or less said what the hell because she had a crush on me and I was itching to have an excuse not to brood about my ex. Second week of camp comes around, and I'm home. Another girl friends me on facebook, and I notice she's in band too, so I shoot her a message.

We end up talking the whole night, just about. There's an instant attraction, and we end up talking specific sexual preferences. I was a little taken aback at first and felt a bit guilty -- especially since I hadn't disclosed such information to my then girlfriend, even though I wasn't as comfortable with her. The other girl was blatantly flirting with me despite also feeling guilty -- and vice versa obviously, so we ended up talking until one or the other fell asleep. When we finally got back to camp, we started talking in person, and I introduced my girlfriend to her. We went to go change, and I asked if she'd be interested in inviting her into our relationship. Cue an awkward conversation in the car later, and it escalated to the three of us holding hands in a gazebo after practice, talking even more awkwardly because the two were interested more in me than anything, as I later found out.

As time went on, I found my interest dramatically shifting toward the second girl, as the first I found to be jealous, overbearing, and a little selfish. I ended up breaking up with her over the jealousy issue and pursuing the other girl. "If you were jealous, you should have just said no," I recall saying. To date, it's been one of the better decisions I made. Nearly four months later and I'm happy as can be with my girlfriend, whom I intend to marry.

I suppose, if there's a lesson to be learned, polyamory is a great compatibility test -- because if she's willing to genuinely open her arms to the other woman for your sake, she must be a keeper.

Response to Relationship Crew 2015-11-26 11:33:57


Wow

This club is still going on that's cool I remember when this was first created back in the day.

~X~


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Response to Relationship Crew 2015-12-05 23:35:57


At 11/26/15 11:33 AM, XwaynecoltX wrote: Wow

This club is still going on that's cool I remember when this was first created back in the day.

~X~

Yeah, it is. Although teetering along, I must say. Maybe people just don't like to talk about love that much, or most of us are just forever alone. Nice to see a familiar face, by the way. Old people may not be hard to come by on NG, but gotta love a good veteran user. :P