Alright, I won't quote you Vincoid, but I'll respond to what you said.

You're right, maybe I am just being weak about it. Listen, I've been hit harder with other people's comments than yours, so it doesn't hurt me in any way. This is my first time by the way, so it's difficult for me. I'll go by what you said and if she says, "where were you yesterday?" I'll just say, "sick, so what you wanna ask me?"

Whatever she says is what I'll go by. If we stick as friends, I want ask her if we can hangout sometime. Nothing better starts a better relationship than hanging out first.

Thanks for this guys, I'll respond with later results tomorrow.

Okay, serious question.
There's this girl. I really REALLY like her, to a point where I look forward to the next time I see her. BUt the thing is, I don't know anything about her. I'd try to get to know her, but her friends cut me down whenever I get anywhere near. Unlike most people at my school, I listen to heavy metal, etc., and it shows, so I get shit. She herself has never said anything to me, but her friends, even when I'm walking past, shout abuse at me. She is never away from them.

How can I get to know her without her friends interfering?

At 2/2/09 09:46 AM, knugen wrote: I do have an idea how to go on from here, but that would require another good chunk of text to explain. If anyone's interested I will post how things turns out, depending on the size of this 'cycle' she has it might take some time though I suppose..

Alright, I'm on MSN with her right now, and things seems to be going pretty bad: I am the one doing most of the talking, she only seems to reply as little possible as if she wants the conversation to die out, which I suppose that she has succeeded with now because she gives me nothing to "pick up" on and I'm stumped.

I realized that I probably tend to be more detailed than necessary when I describe my situation, so I'll simply say this about what my 'idea' was: Her major interest is horses, and she spends a lot of time in the stable apparently (she says this is the reason why she so rarely have time to meet up). So I figured, since this is so big for her, that I should ask her if I could come with her there some time. Surely she would be happy to see me take interest in her interests? All I got for a response was a cold "We'll see" that I suspect equals no though.

So anyway, any tips on what I should do now? This feels like a deadlock :/

I got some results in. She says, "I don't think for right now we should start, but can we still be friends and still hangout?" I said, "sure, it's no problem. It's better being friends than not."

About the hangout situation, I'm not going to rush it. Maybe in a couple of weeks, or maybe just a month, I'll ask her if she wants to hangout on the weekends, that way, maybe I'll get her number. I think I'm all set out now, thanks to you Vincoid. I've grown out of my shell of shyness and acting to weak.

At 2/5/09 10:57 AM, Strongbow wrote: Okay, serious question.
There's this girl. I really REALLY like her, to a point where I look forward to the next time I see her. BUt the thing is, I don't know anything about her.

I thought this was serious? How can you really REALLY like her when you know nothing about her? She's a girl, she might look good, she might have a nice smile, but that is in no way a reason to like a girl that much.
The reason for saying this, is because if you act like this about a girl at this stage, you'll probably screw up once you get a chance with her due to treating her differently. Back off a bit and wait with liking her untill you know something about her to like. Appreciating her for something she's got nothing to do with (a personality you don't know, her physical appearance except for clothes etc.), is something that'll make her severaly less interested in you.

How can I get to know her without her friends interfering?

By becoming friends with her friends and showing them you're not a threat to her. Yeah, doesn't sound that easy now does it? It shouldn't, because it isn't. In fact, it's one of the hardest things to do when her friends are against you.

I think the best thing to do is move on. The reason why is because it's very hard to learn all the skills needed to pull something like this off. You'll need to be very witty, be able to have an answer to everything, be confident and many more.

However, if you're not willing to move on just like that, you can also try something different. Be direct.
Confront her friends on giving you shit, ask them why they do it, etc. The sucky side of doing this is that you can hardly predict what will happen, so there's a chance they'll back off and you can talk to the girl, or that the entire group will think of you as an asshole, including your girl of interest.

At 2/5/09 03:27 PM, knugen wrote: So anyway, any tips on what I should do now? This feels like a deadlock :/

Hmmm...

"NEXT"

Hey, did you hear that?

"Move on, don't let this shit tire you emotionally and find a girl that's actually interested"

I heard it again! What is that?

Seriously though, move on. There's either something with this girl preventing her from finding you interesting enough (could be her, most likely you though), or you simply can't fix this situation anymore.

Wait, that's actually not true. Moving on is the only and also perfect way to fix this. If you shut off any interest for her whatsoever, except for being friends, she'll notice the change. And if she's even remotely interested in you right now, she'll start to wonder what's happened. Keep this up untill she comes back to you and don't make any moves yourself, EVER!

Also, this is a win-win situation:
- You move on, she develops interest, you get another shot.

or:

- You move on, meet someone else, you get another shot.

Beats boring conversations and emotional weariness, doesn't it?

At 2/5/09 05:37 PM, evan210 wrote: i just don't get it... does she hate me or something, or is that just some strange(and cruel) way of saying she likes me???

She likes you. Most signals girls send out are subtle, often too subtle for your average chump to notice. That's why a lot of girls get frustrated with sending out signals, others intensify them to make them more obvious.

In your case, the eye contact is an abvious signal, as well as bumping into you.

Now, I have never seen this girl, I know less about you then her, but judging from her behaviour (not talking to you but bumping into you repeatedly), I'd say she's not the most stable girl to go with.

Of course, I have no idea wether you're interested in her or not, but if you do, I'd watch out. She might be totally cool, but she could also turn into a creepy stalker or extremely jealous girlfriend.

Trust me, I've been there...

At 2/5/09 06:55 PM, UltimateAxl wrote: I got some results in. She says, "I don't think for right now we should start, but can we still be friends and still hangout?" I said, "sure, it's no problem. It's better being friends than not."

Casually hanging out, having fun, is actually the best way to get with a girl. Remember to tease her though, because without it, you'll become just another one of her girlfriends. You don't want to be a girlfriend now do you? :P

About the hangout situation, I'm not going to rush it. Maybe in a couple of weeks, or maybe just a month, I'll ask her if she wants to hangout on the weekends, that way, maybe I'll get her number. I think I'm all set out now, thanks to you Vincoid. I've grown out of my shell of shyness and acting to weak.

That's why I'm here man. And if you've got any other issues you need help with, be it specific situations or something about your personality you don't feel confident about etc, just ask.

At 2/6/09 05:55 AM, Vincoid wrote:

At 2/5/09 03:27 PM, knugen wrote: So anyway, any tips on what I should do now? This feels like a deadlock :/

Hmmm...

Yeah, I think you're right. I actually thought about that yesterday, because even though things are (or at least seems) great when we actually meet, the negative aspects (one of them being that we rarely do meet) might be starting to weigh over.

I am however going to give it one last shot: For the week to come there's no school, so I figured that this is when she will have the time to see me if time really was the only obstacle before. I am not very hopeful though, and if she don't seem very interested in meeting me, or alternatively if we do and she's taking another go in that 'cycle' of hers after that, I'm gonna do pretty much exactly what you suggested. So thanks again :)

At 2/6/09 09:51 AM, knugen wrote: Yeah, I think you're right. I actually thought about that yesterday, because even though things are (or at least seems) great when we actually meet, the negative aspects (one of them being that we rarely do meet) might be starting to weigh over.

Sounds like a plan, though there's one thing you should know. Time spend together is rarely a problem when it's little, and more often when you spend a lot of time together.

If you spend a lot of time together, a girl can easily get the idea that you don't have a life of your own, which is very important. It also speeds up coming across as predictable, because the longer you are together, the more stuff you do, so the more originality is required.

What you should focus on, and that's what I was talking about when I said cycle, is the quality of the time together and how far you progress.

The quality of the time spend together is important because girls want to have fun and feel good. If you make them feel good, they want more, and they know you can get it for them.

Progressing is important because in male-female relationships, no progression in the early stages actually means deterioration.
Progression can be achieved in two ways:
- You get her to show her personality, you show appreciation for her showing it, you build up attraction, you build up sexual tension, you make her feel comfortable, you kiss her, you have sex.
- The second way is exactly the same, though instead of kissing her yourself, you build up so much sexual tension that she jumps you.

Of course, time usually seems to be a problem, but it is in fact one that needs almost no worry. I can imagine wanting to be with someone all the time as I've been through that myself, but to keep relationships healthy, not to mention being able to get into one, you have to save time for yourself and have her spend time on her own. This is one aspect of self-control; being able to spend time without the person you're interested in, in order to keep it that way.

Now go kick ass ;)

So for about 3 months now I've been talking to this girl and we've gotten real close to each other we'd stay up till 1 in the morning talking or on Myspace just chatting.
About 1 month ago I realized I had feelings for her and she knows I do, now she likes this one guy who is like my best friend but (and here's the kicker) just 2 days ago he made out with this one hot chic with nice milk missiles who he really likes and now that other girl found out, acted cool about it, but I know her very well and I can tell she is destroyed inside.
So now she just stares at me in 6th period (all th

srry mistake

So for about 3 months now I've been talking to this girl and we've gotten real close to each other we'd stay up till 1 in the morning talking or on Myspace just chatting.
About 1 month ago I realized I had feelings for her and she knows I do, now she likes this one guy who is like my best friend but (and here's the kicker) just 2 days ago he made out with this one hot chic with nice milk missiles who he really likes and now that other girl found out, acted cool about it, but I know her very well and I can tell she is destroyed inside.
So now she just stares at me in 6th period (all three of us have it) instead of him to, what should I do. Should I make my move now or let her recover from this..

Alright. Dance tomorrow, and I know that's not the best place to build attraction what with the no talking, but any advice? :P. I just feel like I need to step it up. I really don't want to lose this girl, and I feel like I haven't been.....I dunno, physical enough? And I just need to be more witty, all that good shit. I feel like I'm falling apart a little, I dunno why. I just need to pull it together and make this work.

Ok guys, I have no luck with girls. I am weird. I like Black Metal and go to the mall in a plain black shirt, baby powder on my face, and black marker/paint delicately applied to my eyes. People think have a strange personality. I read more than i watch TV. I dont talk much. Not many girls have a lot in common with me. All the girls i am interested in are taken. Oh, and I'm ugly.

now, what should I do. One of the girls I want i think likes me, i work with her, but is taken by this cute guy in his 20s. Another one probalbly thinks I'm a jerk (i will not disclose why), though i am nice to her, and we dont talk much. How should i go about getting a girl? How do i find a single girl that i would be interested in?

Oh, and my friends are mostly peudojaps. Anime white kids. Im not into the stuff though. sigh...

At 2/6/09 05:34 PM, Jezuz wrote: I guess I know what I'm going to do in a way: I'll end up unblocking her....is that the right thing to do? Could it go wrong? Should I wait awhile or do it right away? I just have no idea. I keep thinking I screwed up, but the relationship was fairly done before this, so, meh. Last move from a desperate loser I guess.

Putting it all together, this is where you're at:
- Relationship is not an option.
- Friends is not an option.
- Talking to her without ending up feeling crappy is not an option.

Solution:

Unblock her, tell her the truth (all of it), tell her you can't talk to her anymore, move on.

The only thing you did wrong as far as I can tell is that you lied to her about being blocked. You should always tell the truth, and if something might be painful, lying will always end up doing more pain (wether it be to you because of guilt or to her because you lied).

Nothing you can't make up though and that's exactly why you should tell her the truth, not for her, but for you. You're not telling her the truth so she'll understand. Sure, great if she does, but that's not the point. The point is that if you tell the truth, you have a clear conscience.

As for the situation itself, I think it's best to leave it for what it is and move on.

At 2/6/09 09:42 PM, AngelSierra wrote: So now she just stares at me in 6th period (all three of us have it) instead of him to, what should I do. Should I make my move now or let her recover from this..

Get a move on. Recovery isn't a bad idea, but were not talking about an emotional breakup here so it's not really necessary.

Also, I don't know what kind of moves you got in mind, but when a girl is emotional because of shit like this, don't try to make her feel better by comforting her. Make her feel better by giving her a good time.

At 2/6/09 09:50 PM, Sensationalism wrote: Thanks for the help, Vincoid.

We're still talking, so I guess things are going good so far.

No problem ;)

At 2/7/09 12:18 AM, Knorpfdog wrote: Alright. Dance tomorrow, and I know that's not the best place to build attraction what with the no talking, but any advice? :P. I just feel like I need to step it up. I really don't want to lose this girl, and I feel like I haven't been.....I dunno, physical enough? And I just need to be more witty, all that good shit. I feel like I'm falling apart a little, I dunno why. I just need to pull it together and make this work.

My advice is to read your own post again and do all the things you said you should do.

Good luck ;P

At 2/7/09 12:29 AM, LordXerxes wrote: Ok guys, I have no luck with girls.

Luck's got nothing to do with it.

I am weird.

Is that a problem for you?

I like Black Metal and go to the mall in a plain black shirt, baby powder on my face, and black marker/paint delicately applied to my eyes. People think have a strange personality.

Ok, and do these people actually know you, or do they say so based on your appearance? How do you know what they think?

I read more than i watch TV.

What do you read? I myself like to read because most books contain invaluable wisdom, while TV provides me with entertainment.

How exactly does this make you weird?

I dont talk much. Not many girls have a lot in common with me. All the girls i am interested in are taken.

Why don't you talk much? And why should girls have a lot of things in common with you? Also, what kind of girls are you interested in?

Oh, and I'm ugly.

Ok, but are unattractive? You see, girls don't care a whole lot about a guy being ugly or good looking, what they care about is attractiveness. Attractiveness is based on your personality, not on your wealth or physical appearance.

How should i go about getting a girl? How do i find a single girl that i would be interested in?

By finding out what kind of girls you like. Write down everything that your girl should have, then figure out where such a girl would be, then go there.

Also, either post your email address her or in a PM to me, and I'll send you something that should get you going.

Oh, and my friends are mostly peudojaps. Anime white kids. Im not into the stuff though. sigh...

Do your friends make who you are? If not, don't worry.

At 2/7/09 08:58 AM, evan210 wrote: girls confuse me...

Haha, that confuses you? You haven't seen anything yet :P

At 1/29/09 03:53 AM, Vincoid wrote: - You are being sexual with her, she's getting hot, you introduce the obstacle, rape.
- You are being sexual in a non-sexual environment, you make the obvious obstacle even more obvious, time goes by and sexual desire increases, best sex ever.

There is untold power behind those words. I have used those on a few occasions but would still like the ebook should you care to provide it.

At 2/8/09 10:20 AM, PhoenixTails wrote: There is untold power behind those words. I have used those on a few occasions but would still like the ebook should you care to provide it.

What ebook? Just send me your email address and I'll get you the one you mean ;)

At 2/7/09 06:14 AM, Vincoid wrote: My advice is to read your own post again and do all the things you said you should do.

I did :).

I was more physical than I usually am, and I think she had a really good time. Her parents dropped me off at my house after everything, and she walked up to the door with me. She was saying goodbye and she started to say "I love y-" and then sort of stuttered like she was really surprised it came out of her mouth. I, being the super-slick guy I am (that was sarcasm :P), stood there for a second and then said....wait for it...."did you just say that?" I was cringing as the words were coming out of my mouth :S. She stuttered a bit more, said bye one more time, and started to walk back to her car. I called here name and when she turned around I looked at her and said "I love you too." So I'm hoping I didn't screw anything up :D.

mastertails@yahoo.com

At 2/8/09 06:33 PM, PhoenixTails wrote: mastertails@yahoo.com

Ok, though I still don't know which one you mean :P

Doesn't matter, I'll just wing it ;)

This is more of a half and half story. But just so I wouldn't get the topic rejected in the general forum, I'll post it here.

So there's this girl in one of my classes. I talk to her, I know her, she knows me. We're friends but we aren't THAT close. Other than that one class, that's the only time I see her. Anyways, every single time I try to have a one-on-one conversation, one of her closer friends (one that believes I'm his friend) friends approaches us. Every time I try and talk to her by herself, he buts in and tries to somewhat steal the spotlight. I'm using this word very lightly, but it's like he's a cock-block.
The kid is just one of your friends you can not stand. He's that one friend you have that you find annoying, embarrassing, and just a prick. So anyways, every time I talk to the girl, he comes on in KNOWING that I'm clearly having one on one time with her. I'm at the impression he likes her and is just afraid that I might "steal" her from him. The girl is nice, I somewhat have a crush on her, and would love to spend more time with her, but this arrogant prick always buts in.
I don't want to call him out on what he's doing because then I'd seem like I'm being the one who's throwing myself at the girl.

So what should I say to him so that he can stop getting in my way?

At 2/10/09 03:10 PM, TJoyal wrote: So what should I say to him so that he can stop getting in my way?

Well, he's definitely into her and sees you as a threat. I think he's damn right to feel like that, because it's also obvious this girl likes you.

As for getting rid of him, next time you're one on one with her and he comes butting in, say this: "Hey man, we're just talking a bit together, so if you don't mind." Say that very calmly, and not like you fucking hate his guts and want him to die.

If he doesn't leave after that, look at her, stick out your hand for her to grab and say: "Come on, let's get out of here."

Again, relax, be confident, she'll grab your hand and you can lead her somewhere a bit more private. If he follows you again, you can make use of it by making him look like an idiot by making all sorts of comments about how he's stalking me because you're hot.

Like: "Hey man, I know I'm hot, but I don't like you stalking me", or this one a bit louder for people around you to hear "Hey, someone call the police, this guy is stalking me and checking out my ass!"
Or this one: "Hey man, I appreciate the efforts you're making, but I'm not into dudes".

Anyway, I could keep going on like that all day long, but I hope you get the idea. What you basicly do is lowering his status while raising yours, this way the girl will think of you as more attractive than him and is willing to leave with you and move on to a more private location.

And if you do not yet get it, say so and I'll provide you with a few more tomorrow.

He's done it so far three times. One time he was at a group table (with her), he left to talk to a friend, me and my friend stayed and I took his seat and sat down. Right in the middle of the conversation he rushes back to the table and flips out at me taking his seat. I told him he just left, he ignored me and grabbed another chair and sat right between us. That was more hilarious how he reacted, but still a dick move.

Then the other day the bell rang, I was talking to her and he was outside. I was telling some joke about my friend's concert (not that that's really important, haha), she laughed, we left and the idiot tries to seem macho or something, yet in a joking matter. The kid's been stuffed in lockers, punched in the face, shoved, etc. So we leave the classroom, he throws his bag on the ground and in a joking voice asks me to fight him. I rolled my eyes, went to walk away, and just took another laugh at him inside, thinking how much of an idiot he's making of himself. The girl stuck up for me (not that I'd really need it. People never give me trouble when it comes to fights) by saying "You're being ridiculous", once again like a friendly joke. Not an insult on his part. Then he does the ever so original, cocky move of placing his arm around a girl's shoulders in a flirtatious matter. It was jokingly, but still arrogant at it's least.

Then just last week, I'm talking to her a few minutes before the bell and he struts on over. I'm in the middle of talking to her and he comes by stands directly in front of me, blocking my vision. She tries to get him away, yet still thinks he is just joking around. I roll my eyes and he turns around. He gives me some sort of sneer and I just look at him. He tries to change the subject by talking to me. "What's up. How are you today, Tyler?". Clearly I knew then he wasn't too fond of me talking to her.

Also whenever we do partner work, he always insists on working with her, but whatever. I feel somewhat bad for her because even though he's joking around with her, he'll still call her names and stuff. Like if she gets something wrong he will call her a retard. He's joking, and she knows it, but you shouldn't talk to a girl like that even if it's a joke.

Just wanted to let you know that me and that girl I talked about a few posts back most likely wont happen: It simply seems that she doesn't want a relationship atm, not with me at least, and I told her over MSN that I wouldn't try "going for her" any longer for that reason. Her reply was cold, as it so often have been lately: "Suits me". Soon after she just went offline.

I'm much more relieved than sad to get get a closure on this (I suppose that she did wear me out emotionally as you said, Vincoid :P), although I can't help but being a bit irritated at her for acting as if she never were interested in me at all when she obviously were.. sometimes.

I would like to remain friends with her, like I said we've always had a good time when we've met, but as of now she doesn't even seem to want that. If that's how it is I guess I will survive though :P

Thanks for the advices anyhow! Finding a more or less uncomplicated girl seems like an impossibility so I might very well back for more some time.

Okay, Vincoid help me here man.

They are doing carnations at school, she told me she wanted to be friends and still hangout, but is giving her a rose too much? I really like her, and she knows that. Is it a good idea to give her one?

I just don't want to blow her mind with me liking her too much.

At 2/10/09 05:56 PM, UltimateAxl wrote: Okay, Vincoid help me here man.

They are doing carnations at school, she told me she wanted to be friends and still hangout, but is giving her a rose too much? I really like her, and she knows that. Is it a good idea to give her one?

I just don't want to blow her mind with me liking her too much.

You'll never know unless you try, i guess..

(By the way, the scent of roses, makes a person more trusting, hence why it's tradition.. When she smells roses, she'll trust you more, and you might have a bit of a better shot..)

God.. it's been like 100 pages since i've posted on here. I'll TRY to get back in the swing of things

I'd still like some more suggestions on my problem on the page before this, bottom of the page.

At 2/10/09 06:14 PM, TJoyal wrote: I'd still like some more suggestions on my problem on the page before this, bottom of the page.

Just do what Vincoid suggested. There are ways of politely telling the guy to screw off without making yourself seem like a desperate jerk, I'm not sure if you missed his post or not.

hey watsup guys i got a generic question for ya:

so theres this girl i like, have for a long time now, anyway i never talked to her so what i want to know is how should i approach her and then what to talk about?

im a high school student by the way and don't have any classes with her right now probly wont for the rest of high school as i go to a big school

At 2/10/09 06:53 PM, KingofKool wrote: hey watsup guys i got a generic question for ya:

so theres this girl i like, have for a long time now, anyway i never talked to her so what i want to know is how should i approach her and then what to talk about?

im a high school student by the way and don't have any classes with her right now probly wont for the rest of high school as i go to a big school

Give her your name to start. Either you can approach her directly. Or make it seem like an accident- without being cheesy, if your to shy. But what to talk to her about? Well you don't know her, so truth be told you'll have to find that out yourself.

At 2/10/09 06:53 PM, KingofKool wrote: so theres this girl i like, have for a long time now, anyway i never talked to her so what i want to know is how should i approach her and then what to talk about?

Hey man, I live in a big school, too. I also don't have her for any of my classes, when you approach her just say your name, and ask her what's her name. Do you know her? If you do, then just talk normally to her. Don't talk too much about what you like, ask her what she likes.

The way I got my friend to like me is just be yourself to her. It worked for me, and it should work for you. Haha, I have problems on it too, but I'm working on it. I'm thinking about giving a rose to her for a little carnation (if it's still not cancelled from my school).

To my quoter:

Yeah, I'm planning how it's going to work out. I'm not nervous about approaching her, it's the way she will think about it when she recieves it. If she was cool about everything else I do, she should be cool with this also.

Also, thanks for the help. I want to hear what Vincoid has to say about this...

another question: ok so i have an extremely hard time talking to girls i like so does anybody have a technique to ease nervousness in this situation?