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You're Under Attack by Your Home!

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Let's say, somehow, the things at your home became alive and decided to turn on you. All electronics, toys, knick-knacks, books, and collectibles now move about like a poltergeist attack without actually being haunted. Your security system keeping you in like a death trap instead of keeping threats out. Toy soldiers aiming their weapons at you, with said weapons somehow actually working. Plates, frisbees, CDs, and any toys of things that could fly now flying about in an attack formation. Books flapping about and trying to clamp down on you as if you're a tasty meal. Your bed is now trying to smother you. Anything with a cord would be willing to use that same cord to strangle you. Game systems and computers would be trying to summon things on their library of games and things you've downloaded to try to attack you with them, and good luck to you if you're unlucky enough to have a game equipped that contains OP enemies and weapons. A fridge and oven would try to trap you inside to freeze/burn/suffocate you to death. The radio turning on all by itself and playing music fitting for a dark scene, like a funeral, bloodbath, or if a villain is on a rampage and winning. And of course, windows and doors won't be working your favor, meaning if you want to move about you may have to bust open your own hole. Also trying to use the phone would backfire as it would try to call a number that you really don't want it to call, i.e. a number that would get you in hot water, especially if the phone somehow speaks on your behalf to further get you into trouble. Could list more examples but I think you get the picture by now.


However, to help balance all that out in this seemingly hopeless situation, things that can be used as regular weapons would still be inanimate. So you can still use guns and knives, with the only catch to that being whether you'd be able to reach them in time before your home stops you.


So, what would you do in this situation and how long do you think you'd last?

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 16:11:34


I would set my house on fire, hopefully burning the things and creating a hole in the wall to escape. If this works I would live.

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 16:16:38


I look very nervously over at the baneblade on my desk.

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 16:19:35


This is the plot to Poltergeist bro

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 16:32:46


At 1/23/21 04:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: things that can be used as regular weapons would still be inanimate.

So really it's just a fight between you and any piece of furniture that weighs more than you can lift? That makes it a little easier

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 16:39:05


At 1/23/21 04:19 PM, BUM-DRILLER wrote: This is the plot to Poltergeist bro


And your point is...? Doesn't matter if it's the plot of a film if the film is based on an actual phenomenon (despite what non-believers say as they don't believe in ghosts unless they meet them in person). I did say "Poltergeist" in the original post after all...

Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 18:10:20


At 1/23/21 04:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: So, what would you do in this situation and how long do you think you'd last?


I'm surrounded by wood.


I love fire.


Do the math.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!

On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.

Sig by Decky.

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Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 18:19:58


As soon as I break out, my house grows legs and trips down the hill I live on.


This game sucks turkey dick!

Best Toon

The Worst Thread In The Galaxy

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Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-23 18:27:59


At 1/23/21 04:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: So, what would you do in this situation?


I'd stop smoking crack immediately


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Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-24 03:31:47


At 1/23/21 04:16 PM, Mitchelf wrote: I look very nervously over at the baneblade on my desk.


Set all cannons to rain holy fire upon the xenos scum!!!


Good? bad? im the guy with the gun! I'd say im sorry, but you'd know it wouidnt be sincere, so have a nice day!


caleb reads ep1!

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Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-24 03:33:31


At 1/23/21 04:04 PM, TheGamechanger wrote: Let's say, somehow, the things at your home became alive and decided to turn on you. All electronics, toys, knick-knacks, books, and collectibles now move about like a poltergeist attack without actually being haunted. Your security system keeping you in like a death trap instead of keeping threats out. Toy soldiers aiming their weapons at you, with said weapons somehow actually working. Plates, frisbees, CDs, and any toys of things that could fly now flying about in an attack formation. Books flapping about and trying to clamp down on you as if you're a tasty meal. Your bed is now trying to smother you. Anything with a cord would be willing to use that same cord to strangle you. Game systems and computers would be trying to summon things on their library of games and things you've downloaded to try to attack you with them, and good luck to you if you're unlucky enough to have a game equipped that contains OP enemies and weapons. A fridge and oven would try to trap you inside to freeze/burn/suffocate you to death. The radio turning on all by itself and playing music fitting for a dark scene, like a funeral, bloodbath, or if a villain is on a rampage and winning. And of course, windows and doors won't be working your favor, meaning if you want to move about you may have to bust open your own hole. Also trying to use the phone would backfire as it would try to call a number that you really don't want it to call, i.e. a number that would get you in hot water, especially if the phone somehow speaks on your behalf to further get you into trouble. Could list more examples but I think you get the picture by now.

However, to help balance all that out in this seemingly hopeless situation, things that can be used as regular weapons would still be inanimate. So you can still use guns and knives, with the only catch to that being whether you'd be able to reach them in time before your home stops you.

So, what would you do in this situation and how long do you think you'd last?


My 40K models begin to climb inside my mouth in my sleep. Tearing me apart from the inside.


Good? bad? im the guy with the gun! I'd say im sorry, but you'd know it wouidnt be sincere, so have a nice day!


caleb reads ep1!

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Response to You're Under Attack by Your Home! 2021-01-24 07:42:46


That... joke... is...

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