At 2/15/21 04:28 PM, ZJ wrote: Finished Fraternity: An Inside Look at a Year of College Boys Becoming Men by Alexandra Robbins today.
Simply FASCINATING book. The author made a point of following a year in the life of two college kids: One being a freshman that was entering Greek life as a pledge and the other a sophomore that was President of his fraternity chapter. She went through all of the trials and tribulations that these boys encountered while also having some sections where she just reported on various aspects of Greek life like the drinking culture and why decent young men would act in totally heinous ways when with a large group such as a traditional fraternity.
While the chapter president sections were pretty good, with it being an example of Greek life done right where the group was actually more interested in developing quality men then drinking and hooking up, the bits about the freshman entering this world for the first time were engrossing in both good and bad ways. This guy, Jake, went from being a nerdy and somewhat shy high schooler that had never really done anything with alcohol or girls to being your stereotypical frat bro that was binge drinking regularly and focusing on having sex with "slams" that would give his fraternity more prestige. It was harrowing to see him go through the rejections of the rush process, the insane hazing rituals (Some particularly memorable ones included being forced to sleep on hard floors without pillows while older members watched and being made to run in a dark forest for hours while being screamed at), and all of the other little things that totally transformed him as a person. It was kind of depressing to watch him turn into a guy who was okay with getting F's in classes (He had never dipped below a B+ on anything in high school apparently) and thought that he was being a "white knight" when he remembered that he used to say it was wrong to judge women based almost entirely on their looks. He provides a lot of justifications for his actions and he never turns into the worst of the worst that this frat lifestyle can create, but it's still shocking to watch this kid who we saw crying when another fraternity turned him away becomes this dude who delights in hazing people his own age who just happened to try to join his fraternity in the spring instead of the fall. I do wonder what he's like now seeing as this book chronicled his freshman year in 2017-2018 which would make him a senior now.
I think this one is going to stick with me for a long time. I had dabbled with Greek life in my college days, but this opened my eyes on the subject in a way that they weren't before. There's both good and bad in fraternities and I can respect them for doing positive things in their communities, but, yikes, is it rough to see how downright savage they can be even in our more "politically correct" world.
The only Greek life I was part of was Beta Club in high school. The ones that were available at my college had strict requirements. If you didn't make As and Bs and didn't have 2.9+ GPA then you weren't worth their time.
The only time I saw a fraternity in a positive light was on an episode of Extreme Couponers where a frat member was teaching his friends how to coupon while shopping for snacks for their upcoming party.