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Crazy Work Stories?

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Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 17:41:12


One of my managers decided to tell me this story: One night, he woke up to find he was suffocating his wife in his sleep. (Great start, I know) Then, later in the day, he went into the bathroom at work to send her a dick pic as an apology, but it turns out he sent it to HIS boss, which was a dude. He was fired for jerking off in the bathroom, sexual harassment of his boss, and all-around douchebaggery


What's some weird shit that happened at your job?

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 17:45:52


Well, technically, it wasn't at the job, but across the street from the work site last Saturday, some dude kept randomly walking in front of cars. It was as I passed by after being done for the day that he finally got hit by a car. Behind the car that hit him was a police vehicle. I turned around and yelled out to the officer that the guy had been jumping in front of traffic all day.

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 17:48:55 (edited 2019-11-05 17:49:05)


At 11/5/19 05:41 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote: What's some weird shit that happened at your job?


I caught my boss and a good friend of mine fucking on the dishpit counter one night, they didnt stop, and after that not only could i be as drunk as i wanted at work but the manager ( the chick ) would bring me drinks from the bar.


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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 17:55:33


At 11/5/19 05:48 PM, Leidolfr wrote: I caught my boss and a good friend of mine fucking on the dishpit counter one night,


I read it as "dipshit" counter.

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 17:55:48


Hehe. They're so secret that I don't even know, but I've heard stories.


I use to get drunk a lot as a bartender.

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:00:03


At 11/5/19 05:55 PM, Painbringer wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:48 PM, Leidolfr wrote: I caught my boss and a good friend of mine fucking on the dishpit counter one night,
I read it as "dipshit" counter.


thats pretty accurate too


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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:14:11


I used to work at a car dealership in the shop; shitty Fox News Christian owners, horribly ran from sales to parts. Open the shop on a Saturday, notice that a car is just parked randomly near one of the bays. I'm curious as to whose damn car it is, so I start walking over. In the driver's seat, is the sales manager, sleeping off what I'm assuming is a huge bender, considering all of the liquor bottles littering the damn passenger seat.


really, motherfucker? in my shop?


Wake his drunk ass up, get him a coffee, and tell him to go home. Bastard starts his car, and, since it's the middle of winter, everything is all fogging up. He turns on the rear window heater. It starts clearing up the fog, and suddenly explodes out like a fucking movie prop. I nearly had a heart attack, Johnny is just sitting in the driver's seat cool as a cucumber.


Explaining what happened to the owner was fun.


Johnny, of course, kept his job.

Some Scooby Doo episodes would be a lot shorter if they just went to the costume shop and asked a couple of questions.

-@rShowerThoughts (Twitter)

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:15:49


I can't think of anything too crazy, nothing I'd want to mention at least.


At 11/5/19 05:41 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote: One of my managers decided to tell me this story: One night, he woke up to find he was suffocating his wife in his sleep. (Great start, I know) Then, later in the day, he went into the bathroom at work to send her a dick pic as an apology, but it turns out he sent it to HIS boss, which was a dude. He was fired for jerking off in the bathroom, sexual harassment of his boss, and all-around douchebaggery

What's some weird shit that happened at your job?


Doesn't really sound like he learned his lesson.


"some people who believe they're smart do nothing but talk incessantly. if they didn't, how else would they let you know how smart they are?"

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:19:15


At 11/5/19 05:55 PM, Painbringer wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:48 PM, Leidolfr wrote: I caught my boss and a good friend of mine fucking on the dishpit counter one night,
I read it as "dipshit" counter.


same


Some Scooby Doo episodes would be a lot shorter if they just went to the costume shop and asked a couple of questions.

-@rShowerThoughts (Twitter)

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:30:28


When I'm were 23 years of old, the occupation I had was to build locust hives for a local theme park.


You see, sometimes a customer might misbehave and cause a shenanigan, which is why the theme park owners are in need of locust hives to activate them whenever trouble rises out of the pantry like an earthworm from the antpile.


With that in mind, one day in the park comes a lady, visibly aged 89, who was being escorted by her grandson, 7 years of age. The lady could not see, so she needed her little child to see the path.


The lady was raw sewage manifestated. She would slap my then crush on the behind, spill drinks in the cowboy saloon, and hang with her cane from the ferris wheel. A crime, I'm say!


I'm were activated, thus unleashing two locusts on her. The old lady, filled with fear, ran towards the minigolf course where she got struck with a golf club.


I'm hadn't worked in that park for eleven years now, but I'm heard that the old lady is still in that golf course, her head sticking out of one of the holes, saying funny things, keeping the customers happy and laughed.


Oh yeah, don't dress me like I'm salad.

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:30:47


At 11/5/19 06:19 PM, FineSkylark wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:55 PM, Painbringer wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:48 PM, Leidolfr wrote: I caught my boss and a good friend of mine fucking on the dishpit counter one night,
I read it as "dipshit" counter.
same


shakes head


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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 18:46:40


At 11/5/19 05:45 PM, Ricoculous wrote: Well, technically, it wasn't at the job, but across the street from the work site last Saturday, some dude kept randomly walking in front of cars. It was as I passed by after being done for the day that he finally got hit by a car. Behind the car that hit him was a police vehicle. I turned around and yelled out to the officer that the guy had been jumping in front of traffic all day.


most likely someone trying to scam people for insurance

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-05 19:42:15


At 11/5/19 06:46 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:45 PM, Ricoculous wrote: Well, technically, it wasn't at the job, but across the street from the work site last Saturday, some dude kept randomly walking in front of cars. It was as I passed by after being done for the day that he finally got hit by a car. Behind the car that hit him was a police vehicle. I turned around and yelled out to the officer that the guy had been jumping in front of traffic all day.
most likely someone trying to scam people for insurance


I think he was mentally ill

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-06 03:10:32


At 11/5/19 07:42 PM, Ricoculous wrote:
At 11/5/19 06:46 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote:
At 11/5/19 05:45 PM, Ricoculous wrote: Well, technically, it wasn't at the job, but across the street from the work site last Saturday, some dude kept randomly walking in front of cars. It was as I passed by after being done for the day that he finally got hit by a car. Behind the car that hit him was a police vehicle. I turned around and yelled out to the officer that the guy had been jumping in front of traffic all day.
most likely someone trying to scam people for insurance
I think he was mentally ill


that could also be a possibility, but there are people who jump in front of cars in an attempt to scam insurance companies

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-06 08:11:30


I'll never forget the day I had to fire someone less than 4 hours into his training on his first day for mugging a woman in her office during lunch. I was training someone else that day too--a 14-year-old, and that was the first day of his first job ever. I had to call my own boss (who was similarly astonished) and radio the central dispatcher, and the fallout was pretty big. I didn't want the incident to mean that we were no longer going to take in younger people who may have little to no work experience, because that was being considered. I made sure that everyone assigned to work with me (6 people total in the crew, but 5 after the firing) got an education in horticulture, and up close and personal view of how parks are managed, and could relieve me of some tasks I'd otherwise handle myself.


The guy went on to work at one of my favorite supermarkets for more than 2 years yet it was too much to ask for him to work for me even for 4 hours.


Final notes: the incident happened in July 2013, and I did not tell his newer co-workers or boss what he did. Just like I told some of the other staff in my agency then, knowing his history, he is better off staying gainfully employed, and his boss will only fire him if necessary. I don't know if his ending with the supermarket was as a result of being fired or quitting.


Former iron fist mod of the NG Featureless Chat from May 23, 2012 to May 4, 2014.

NYC Meet 2010 | NYC Meet 2011 | NYC Meet 2013

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-06 08:55:34


years ago when i worked in a hospital we had this patient who had a bad reaction waking up from anesthesia. for pretense it was this huge young white dude, like 6' 5" football player build. anyways, he was hulliciinating that he was in a gang and a rival gang i.e. us had him trapped or something. so he was cursing at us in gangsterisms. it took the entire ER room to hold him down. he spit in the anesthesiologists face and then said to him "wtf are you doing here DJ zero"


when he woke up we told him what happened and he thought it was funny and asked us if we filmed it so he could put it on insta

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-06 14:02:17


I'm a high school teacher. If we go one day without any weird shit happening, hell has frozen over.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!

On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-06 16:04:42


I got locked in the restaurant with my co-workers a few months ago while working on a ranch in Montana. Apparently there was a drunk guy with a gun going fucking insane, we had to spend an extra 3 hours in there after service had ended because of that cunt. Long story short, he got tazed and the police brought him to jail. Apparently he was there with his wife and baby on vacation, and they had nowhere to go after that. I still don't understand why the fuck he did that.


"Sir, we are surrounded!"

"Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-07 13:06:31


At 11/6/19 02:02 PM, DamnedByFate wrote: I'm a high school teacher. If we go one day without any weird shit happening, hell has frozen over.


that's the last job i expected you to have

still pretty cool. how do you feel when you see a student that's a metalhead?

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-07 13:14:10


At 11/7/19 01:06 PM, StaticSkull2 wrote:
At 11/6/19 02:02 PM, DamnedByFate wrote: I'm a high school teacher. If we go one day without any weird shit happening, hell has frozen over.
that's the last job i expected you to have
still pretty cool. how do you feel when you see a student that's a metalhead?


Almost regaining faith in humanity.


Almost.


You can't fight for peace. If you fight, there ain't peace. NO, I'M NOT AMERICAN!

On every ship that floats and sails, there's someone who the captain nails.

Sig by Decky.

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-08 01:01:14


Technically it wasn't MY job but my friend worked at this millionaire's personal fucking petting zoo (goats, ducks, chickens, fuck it wouldn't be surprised if she had space gorillas). It was halloween night and we were going to use here massive property to cut through on the way back to his place. He came up with this excuse to the woman that he was going to check up on the goats just in case any predators were going to try and snatch a kid (baby goat). We went into the goat pen and to his horror (and my amusement) the goats were fucking gone (even his favorite Charlie :0 ). But then it was also to my horror because we had to find them. We searched for the rest of the night for these elusive bovidae with no success. So my homie gets fired it's no longer his problem. The news spreads around town and people start jumping to their own crazy conclusions that ranged from coyotes nabbed them to a cult was using the blood of these goats for a satanic ritual. Months later we had forgotten all about this (or at least stopped dwelling on it I mean it's not everyday this shit happens) and found out that some weird kid had them in his basement for some warped reason. I'm pretty sure he was special needs which was why the police never really did anything about it. Now the goats are back with their rightful owner and I still joke about it to this day.


cap badbi!!*

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-08 01:49:26


Ok i know you gotta razz me a bit


https://generated.inspirobot.me/a/qlPBXrQme5.jpg

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-08 12:48:18


This one time I woke up late in the afternoon and went on the internet. Then I went back to sleep.


brains.

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Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-08 22:33:42


Had to mop, scrape, and scrub the theater and benches because the upstairs tenant flushed too many baby wipes. They clogged their toilet for the third time this week. This only worstned the leak they had started from -surprise, flushing baby wipes.

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-08 22:36:55


At 11/6/19 08:55 AM, sheriffofnewgrounds wrote: years ago when i worked in a hospital we had this patient who had a bad reaction waking up from anesthesia. for pretense it was this huge young white dude, like 6' 5" football player build. anyways, he was hulliciinating that he was in a gang and a rival gang i.e. us had him trapped or something. so he was cursing at us in gangsterisms. it took the entire ER room to hold him down. he spit in the anesthesiologists face and then said to him "wtf are you doing here DJ zero"

when he woke up we told him what happened and he thought it was funny and asked us if we filmed it so he could put it on insta


No... Not DJZero... They said legends are only stories, but DJZero is... Mythic...

Response to Crazy Work Stories? 2019-11-09 00:15:51


This was few years ago but I have dealt with an alcoholic customer when I was working in a hospital. he showed up gave me a lecture, and one of the maintenance guys and other workers were telling him to leave and the maintenance guy got really annoyed cause he was told to take a random customer back to his own home.