At 8/18/18 01:32 PM, Spedmallet wrote:
I know it's real nitpicky, but as a stickler for writing and realism I absolutely despise how White Shirt Man is standing dead center of the road without cover and is unharmed by the armed men shooting him.
That nibba'd be dead. If you can in the future, present White Shirt Man with some more severe danger. And give him some cover or advantage that would explain his invincibility (like a device that repels bullets or a shield or a big rock)
lol yeah I agree tbh. It's poor writing on my part. He does get shot a couple of times (once in the chest, back and the helmet), but it's still a bit dumb. I didn't plan out this chapter that much, but I'll make sure to be more careful in the following chapters.
Also, he does get a shield of sorts eventually ;^)
Anyways, thanks for the criticism, much appreciated.