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There, I scanned the Horizon, and through the blams and protects I saw an army rise from the forgotten obituaries, a legion of spammers, hackers and talentless artists, wielding glocks, supported by kitties and proudly wearing star insignias. A large flash soon followed, carried by the army sat the self proclaimed leader atop a large jeweled letter B, arrogant and proud, wielding a scepter and donning a ban worn cape. They approached, ready to 5 bomb their way to daily rewards, and I stepped forward in turn to defend the very portal that gave me hope. I spoke up, clear and loud.
Get out of here, StrawberryClock!
At 1/27/15 07:03 PM, Ragnarokia wrote:
Get out of here, StrawberryClock!
They simply LOL’d at my warning, and StrawberryClock ordered for my account deletion. The hackers by his side raised their network cabled and attempted to infiltrate the server. As their connections approached however, I used my Nishi Shinkuha (2 finger empty catch) technique to redirect their hacking, corrupting their own accounts and destroying their printer paper supply with an endless printing cycle.
The “artists” remained, they attempted to taunt me with their flash, art and audio. The stench of stickmen and 5 second midi loops permeated their breath, Such poor quality was beneath the respect Newgrounds deserved, and they would soon learn how little their lack of effort meant as I prepared to rid our portals of their filth.
Finally the spammers charged me together, a full legion of 1 word posts and daily upload videos. They attempted to keep me grounded with over 400 videos of Hitler catching all known pokemon, but no matter how much he traversed the world, their daily uploading caused each flash to be rushed and weak. With ease I bounded to the sky, blinding them with the glorious sunlight of the judgement system, they lost sight of my lurking before it was too late, and from my moderation tools, I unleashed a flurry of power, punching each and every one of their submissions with my ban-fists, destroying their flashes and blocking their ability to post, it took only a single reload of the page for the remaining force to realise their accounts had been frozen.
final few in 30 minutes, be kind and leave open for glorious conclusion!
I was rather enthralled by your motivational, inspirational and absolutely amazing story
At 1/27/15 07:09 PM, Ragnarokia wrote:final few in 30 minutes, be kind and leave open for glorious conclusion!At 1/27/15 07:34 PM, Teddiikun wrote: I was rather enthralled by your motivational, inspirational and absolutely amazing story
A story about all of newgrounds!
For destroying his crews, I earned the ire of the self proclaimed “King of the Portal”. He called to me by name, the newest flash moderator of the portal. @NekoMika ! He released his cape and let it float away in the breeze of new submissions. He leaped forward with determination, thrusting his own powerful fists with blazing speed, my strength faltered as it became clear he had tapped into the powers of the admins, his skill perhaps even surpassing my own. But then I recalled the previous attacks against the Portal, and what truly drove their spam.
At 1/27/15 07:36 PM, Ragnarokia wrote: But then I recalled the previous attacks against the Portal, and what truly drove their spam.
I knew as an actual artist that filling the Portals for their own selfish desires, rather than to provide decent and enjoyable entertainment to the userbase, left only emptiness and sadness in its wake. The physical might of numbers alone pails in comparison to the emotional enrichment of providing quality content. This would be StrawberryClock’s downfall, as he attempted to overthrow my moderation powers, my loyalty earned me admin status! Such power tore through his own fake might, destroying his crown and thrusting his throne flash of B into the orbituaries.
At 1/27/15 07:38 PM, Ragnarokia wrote: Such power tore through his own fake might, destroying his crown and thrusting his throne flash of B into the orbituaries.
With the final words he could post before being permabanned, he demanded to know how it was possible. I simply pointed to the sky, to the Headquarters of Newgrounds. The very site itself stood against him in defiance, the userbase not wanting to be spammed with poor quality submissions. That I simply used my admin powers of Musou (Nil-thought) to fullfill the destiny of a Newgrounds moderator!
Thus, the portal was safe for another day, I desire no praise, for I simply did the task a Moderator is destined for. It was the Userbase itself, Newgrounds, all of you that gave me the strength to best him!
At 1/27/15 07:41 PM, NekoMika wrote: Beautiful tale, got my gender wrong but whatever. XD
Almost as beautiful as you.
At 1/27/15 07:43 PM, someaveragechap wrote: Thank you for doing your part on the blamming front.
salute, manly tears
A tear shed for the emotional flashes.
Dude, you were at NG HQ? Why didn't you let me know, we could've hung out!
How it ACTUALLY went down:
At 6/24/15 11:11 PM, TheGamechanger wrote:
: CorpseGrinder is the Undertaker of the Portal.
At 2/1/15 10:52 PM, CorpseGrinderClock wrote: How it ACTUALLY went down:
actually cameras from a different angle captured this footage!