Sweet Revenge

442 Views | 5 Replies
New Topic Respond to this Topic

Sweet Revenge 2014-04-15 14:44:21


Gro-Bak woke up.
His mother was standing over him, crying and telling him to get up.
Gro-Bak was 5. He was training as a blacksmith. He would be the best Orcish
blacksmith in Avaria. Maybe even the whole of Stran.
But right now, his mother was in tears, screaming at him.

He got out of bed obediently and followed his mother out of the house.
When he got outside, he didn't like what he saw.
There were strange people running around the village.
Gro-Bak had never seen a human before, and he didn't like what they were doing to the village.
They were running around with swords and spears, killing his friends.
Some of them had torches and were setting fire to houses.
Others were taking people away and putting them in animal carts.
His friends weren't animals.
Weren't they?
Just as this thought formed in his head, one of the men with spears saw him and his mother.
"ORCS!!!" He yelled, charging towards them, his spear held high.
Gro-Bak and his mother ran towards the edge of the village as fast as they could, trying to escape the slaughter.
But it was not to be.
Just as they were nearing the edge of the village, on the base of the mountains of athreas, Gro-Bak realized his mother wasn't with him. So he decided to turn around.
He never should have turned around.
As he turned around he saw at first his mothers face.
It was blank, empty, pale
He looked down and saw that the human with the spear had caught up with her and impaled her.
And then left her to die.
Gro-Bak was a terrible mixture of angry, afraid and sad.
So he did the only thing any reasonable person would do in this type of situation.
He ran.


Hi, I'd just like to say that this is my first time writing something like this so any constructive criticism would be great.
I'd really like to finish this story and maybe even expand on this universe, but I would like to know if anyone would like that to happen before I do anything

[Insert inspirational quote here]

BBS Signature

Response to Sweet Revenge 2014-04-25 08:56:23

Oh man, that is interesting! I like your writting style, as I don't even know who they are until the humans arrived.
Its also make us see something with other perspective than human, which is intriguing.

Good work on the story, it a good beginning, keep up the good work! :D

"Without power, you can't protect whats important for you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aiming to make many epic games, but for now, only wasting time with drawing shit :3

Response to Sweet Revenge 2014-05-28 13:43:56


Gro-Bak was lost in the mountains for 5 years. He learned a lot there. How to hunt, how to kill, how to survive. It was here he was overcome with the terrible realization that he had nothing left. No family, no friends, nobody.
This is hard for a child, feeling like you've lost everything, it could have pushed him over the edge. But it didn't. For two reasons. First of all, Orcs are a strong and hardy people, physically and mentally. Being forever ridiculed will make you like that. Second, he had a strange feeling deep within. A burning feeling that would help him defeat the most vicious of foes.
It was Rage.
A berzerkers rage.

[Insert inspirational quote here]

BBS Signature

Response to Sweet Revenge 2014-05-28 13:58:30

Psst. Hey, you. Yeah you, the one at the computer who has no life (Not that I'm any better).
Look at this:

[Insert inspirational quote here]

BBS Signature

Response to Sweet Revenge 2014-06-07 14:11:39


After the 5 years Gro-Bak spent in the mountains, he was finally found by a trading caravan of Kra'viin going back to Rovar with goods from Avaria. They took him with them to their capital, Rovak, where he was allowed to finish training as a blacksmith. Once he had finished his training, he quickly grew a reputation as the best blacksmith in Rovar. Forging for great merchants, mighty armies and even kings. He grew famous because of this, but even fame and riches could not quell his thirst for revenge. Only the death of those who did this to him would.

And that, was the begining of the end.

[Insert inspirational quote here]

BBS Signature

Response to Sweet Revenge 2014-06-21 10:13:01


It was 20 years after Gro-Bak had escaped from his home. He now lived out his life as a famed, yet solitary, blacksmith in Rovar. That was until one fateful day. It was a normal day at the forge for Gro-Bak, he was smithing weapons for the Kraviin black guard (Demand for weapons had increased dramatically since the humans had decided to expand their 'Glorious' empire into Rovar), when an elf came riding up to him on horseback. This was a strange occurance as elves seldom ever set foot outside of their homeland of Vachi. But this elf was not born in Vachi, although he may be one, he was born in Avaria. The presumed dead 'White elf' who had helped the humans in their empire building, but had later been apparently assasinated by the first emperor. He climbed off of his horse and strolled up to Gro-Bak. "Are you the blacksmith?" he asked Gro-Bak. "Yes," Gro-Bak replied "yes I am the blacksmith. Can I help you?". "I need you to make something for me," said the elf "may we talk about this inside?". "Yes" Gro-Bak answered "we may".

The elf followed Gro-Bak into the shop, and shut the door behind him and then proceeded to close all of the windows.
"What are you doing?" asked Gro-Bak. "We need security." said the elf "And, before you ask, it is for what I am about to tell you." The elf turned around and stared Gro-Bak dead in the eyes "I hear you have a hatred of men." he said in a soft voice. "Yes, I do." he replied "And I have every right to". "Yes, yes I know." replied the elf "And it just so happens that I share your opinion, and so do many others.". "So what is your point?" asked Gro-Bak. "My point is," the elf said, with a tinge of annoyance "that the black guard is weak. Rovar is falling to the empire quicker than any other land ever has. And you know better than most what the empire does to other races." "So what do you suggest?" said Gro-Bak "I suggest," the elf leaned in and whispered in Gro-Baks' ear
"A rebellion"

[Insert inspirational quote here]

BBS Signature