At 4/3/13 12:12 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 11:16 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I stole $1,000,000 and got away with it.

Granted. However, you get so paranoid about the police finding out about your stolen loot that you never spend any of it, and when you die, it's hidden away, forever.

I wish I had a gallon of 2% milk.

Granted but its pus content is far higher than it should be.

I wish I knew milk didn't have pus

At 4/3/13 12:14 PM, Ceratisa wrote:

At 4/3/13 12:12 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 11:16 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I stole $1,000,000 and got away with it.

Granted. However, you get so paranoid about the police finding out about your stolen loot that you never spend any of it, and when you die, it's hidden away, forever.

I wish I had a gallon of 2% milk.

Granted but its pus content is far higher than it should be.

I wish I knew milk didn't have pus

Granted, but you forget everything else instead.

I wish I finally got that beer some f***ers still owe me.

At 4/3/13 12:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/3/13 12:14 PM, Ceratisa wrote:

At 4/3/13 12:12 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 11:16 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I stole $1,000,000 and got away with it.

Granted. However, you get so paranoid about the police finding out about your stolen loot that you never spend any of it, and when you die, it's hidden away, forever.

I wish I had a gallon of 2% milk.

Granted but its pus content is far higher than it should be.

I wish I knew milk didn't have pus

Granted, but you forget everything else instead.

I wish I finally got that beer some f***ers still owe me.

Granted, but it's non-alcoholic.

I wish for a good wish that I can wish for that isn't corruptible that I can wish with. :3

At 4/3/13 12:44 PM, Rokishii-Chan wrote: I wish for a good wish that I can wish for that isn't corruptible that I can wish with. :3

Granted. /thread

I wish for blood.

At 4/3/13 12:59 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish for blood.

Granted...local teenagers decide to prank your house by dumping absurd amounts of used tampons onto or into your property.

I wish I had a motorcycle like Kaneda's Bike from Akira.

At 4/3/13 01:03 PM, Phobotech wrote: Granted...local teenagers decide to prank your house by dumping absurd amounts of used tampons onto or into your property.

I wish I had a motorcycle like Kaneda's Bike from Akira.

Granted, and you receive a motorcycle made of imagination.

I wish I owned the world's largest corporation.

At 4/3/13 01:13 PM, Emma wrote:

At 4/3/13 01:03 PM, Phobotech wrote: Granted...local teenagers decide to prank your house by dumping absurd amounts of used tampons onto or into your property.

I wish I had a motorcycle like Kaneda's Bike from Akira.

Granted, and you receive a motorcycle made of imagination.

I wish I owned the world's largest corporation.

Granted. Now everybody hates you. Happy?

I wish my speakers didn't give up if I turned them up 100%.

At 4/3/13 08:33 PM, Elitistinen wrote:

Granted, you found out that your speakers are capable of blasting ultrasonic that destroys your house.

I wish GTA V will come out tomorrow.

Granted but it will be GTA 4 part 2.

I wish for a monkey butler

I wish for a monkey butler

granted. but it gets rabies and eats your dace off

i wish for awesomeness for everyone!

At 4/3/13 09:36 PM, mechadude32 wrote: i wish for awesomeness for everyone!

Granted. Soon everyone has so much awesomenes in them that they start arguing which country is the most awesome, which causes World War 5 (see, everyone is so awesome, they can skip two World Wars).

I wish for the mext person that corrupts my wish to have a bad hair day.

At 4/3/13 10:37 PM, VJF wrote:

At 4/3/13 09:36 PM, mechadude32 wrote: i wish for awesomeness for everyone!

Granted. Soon everyone has so much awesomenes in them that they start arguing which country is the most awesome, which causes World War 5 (see, everyone is so awesome, they can skip two World Wars).

I wish for the mext person that corrupts my wish to have a bad hair day.

Granted. Who or whatever the "mext person" is, he or she (or it) will have a bad hair day. Unfortunately, no one knows what "mext" means.
(Yes, I see what you were up to, but I can't have a bad hair day because I'd need hair for that first. So I guess I just corrupted that wish twice.)

I wish VJF would proofread his posts.

At 4/4/13 05:17 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: Granted. Who or whatever the "mext person" is, he or she (or it) will have a bad hair day. Unfortunately, no one knows what "mext" means.
(Yes, I see what you were up to, but I can't have a bad hair day because I'd need hair for that first. So I guess I just corrupted that wish twice.)

I wish VJF would proofread his posts.

Granted, but his post content still sucks.

I wish more people would join the reds.

At 4/4/13 05:20 AM, CresIsis wrote: I wish more people would join the reds.

They will, but they're all a**holes.

I wish for a sword.

At 4/4/13 05:36 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a sword.

Granted, but it's the singing sword from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and it doesn't do shit for you when you are attacked and killed in an alley one day by four guys wanting your cash.

I wish a blackhole would destroy the Solar System.

At 4/4/13 06:55 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/4/13 05:36 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a sword.

Granted, but it's the singing sword from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and it doesn't do shit for you when you are attacked and killed in an alley one day by four guys wanting your cash.

I wish a blackhole would destroy the Solar System.

Granted, but you're also granted immortality and teleported to a location in space far away from the black-hole. As a result you will now spend the rest of eternity slowly suffocating to death over and over and over again.

I wish I could warp reality

At 4/4/13 08:03 AM, Shockoach wrote: I wish there weren't so many stupid people in the world

Granted. Everyone in the world is now a genius, except you. You stay at your normal I.Q. level, which makes you the only stupid person in the world. Congratulations.

I wish I wasn't so condescending and sarcastic sometimes.

At 4/4/13 08:43 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/4/13 08:03 AM, Shockoach wrote: I wish there weren't so many stupid people in the world

Granted. Everyone in the world is now a genius, except you. You stay at your normal I.Q. level, which makes you the only stupid person in the world. Congratulations.

I wish I wasn't so condescending and sarcastic sometimes.

Granted, now you're friendly all the time, even if you're slapped in the face; thus people assume that you're fooling them, and someday you mess with the wrong guy and he kills you.

I wish for a driver's license.

At 4/4/13 08:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a driver's license.

Granted, but it's not yours and you get pulled over by the cops one day and thrown in jail for false identification.

I wish I could conserve my money and other things better.

At 4/4/13 09:25 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/4/13 08:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a driver's license.

Granted, but it's not yours and you get pulled over by the cops one day and thrown in jail for false identification.

I wish I could conserve my money and other things better.

Granted, but you die.

I wish for a faster computer. (Took me 5 FRIGGIN MINUTES to change 1 page. F*** this!)

At 4/4/13 10:01 AM, Shade wrote:

At 4/4/13 09:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/4/13 09:25 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/4/13 08:50 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish for a driver's license.

Granted, but it's not yours and you get pulled over by the cops one day and thrown in jail for false identification.

I wish I could conserve my money and other things better.

Granted, but you die.

I wish for a faster computer. (Took me 5 FRIGGIN MINUTES to change 1 page. F*** this!)

Granted, but it goes too fast for you to even comprehend.

I wish for a non-shitty Highlander sequel.

Granted. They make another sequel, cut out all the sh**ty parts, and in the end the whole thing only takes 5 minutes.

I wish I could get that damned song out of my head.

At 4/4/13 12:40 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I wish I could get that damned song out of my head.

Granted, but this song takes over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfqjh1oWiRE

I wish for $5000 in unmarked bills.

At 4/4/13 02:52 PM, Skaren wrote: I wish that there were no banned words on the BBS.

Gratned, but one day some idiot let's their parents accidentally see the BBS and all the unbanned racial and ethnic slurs being used, and they report NG to the FCC, causing them to demand that Tom reban the unbanned words.

I wish there were more episodes of House.

At 4/4/13 06:02 PM, Omegeist wrote: I wish for a sandwhich

Granted, but it's pickles and peanut butter, and only your pregnant girlfriend can eat it.

I wish life was easy and only dying was hard.

At 4/4/13 11:36 PM, VJF wrote: I wish life was easy and only dying was hard.

Granted. You live to be 497 until you finally die, after centuries of trying. The last 375 years of your life have been nothing but pain and not being able to control when you go to the bathroom.

I wish I was smarter.

At 4/4/13 11:38 PM, Scarface wrote: I wish I was smarter.

Granted. You become so smart you create your own black hole in your back yard to get rid of trash, but it grows too big for you to control and it destroys the Universe. Thanks.

I wish for people on the bus to shut the fuck up. I don't need to hear your problems or stupid conspiracy theories.

At 4/5/13 02:38 AM, VJF wrote:

At 4/4/13 11:38 PM, Scarface wrote: I wish I was smarter.

Granted. You become so smart you create your own black hole in your back yard to get rid of trash, but it grows too big for you to control and it destroys the Universe. Thanks.

I wish for people on the bus to shut the fuck up. I don't need to hear your problems or stupid conspiracy theories.

They will shut up, as soon as you get hit by the bus.

I wish for a working antivirus. Seriously, it sucks.

At 4/5/13 08:38 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a working antivirus. Seriously, it sucks.

Granted, but you now use AVG.

I wish for power.

At 4/5/13 10:27 AM, NerdLiife wrote: I wish for power.

Granted. You run to the power station and leap onto live wires. For a few seconds, you feel the power surging through you, until it kills you.

I wish I had an infinite amount of money.

At 4/5/13 10:27 AM, NerdLiife wrote:

At 4/5/13 08:38 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a working antivirus. Seriously, it sucks.

Granted, but you now use AVG.

I wish for power.

Granted, you have the power to take a sh**.

I wish to know what the f*** Vnzi is up to with those red shades.

At 4/5/13 10:52 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 4/5/13 10:27 AM, NerdLiife wrote:

At 4/5/13 08:38 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

I wish for a working antivirus. Seriously, it sucks.

Granted, but you now use AVG.

I wish for power.

Granted, you have the power to take a sh**.

I wish to know what the f*** Vnzi is up to with those red shades.

You now know the innermost secrets of the red shades and what their purpose is but you can't tell anyone.

I wish I could roll a joint...