At 9/7/14 02:21 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish wood did not burn.

Granted. Nothing burns anymore.

NOTHING BURNS EVER AGAIN.

NOTHING.

I wish that every day I earned $695 in a secure bank account that belongs to me.

At 9/7/14 08:00 PM, SentForMe wrote:

Granted, but in order to earn that money every day you are required to lick Donald Trump's shoes clean every day. He requires you to be very thorough.

I wish I owned a whole country.

Wish Granted but your country has no military so it's doomed.

I wish MTV brings back old music videos just like they did in the 80's.

At 9/7/14 11:46 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish I could do a perfect impression of anyone's voice.

Granted, but you can't control it. Sometimes it'll switch on you in mid-sentence...people think you have a mental disorder. You're sad because after a while, you forget what you used to sound like...its neat at parties whenever the voice decides to land on something cool, but most of the time its something obnoxious, or its cracking out like you're hitting puberty.

I wish I could make my enemies suffer in any way I wanted instantaneously with as much effort as a thought.

At 9/8/14 03:17 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish I could make my enemies suffer in any way I wanted instantaneously with as much effort as a thought.

Granted. You become a horrible evil person.

I wish I had no enemies.

At 9/8/14 12:49 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I had a 3D printer that could create anything.

Granted, it creates a black hole that destroys Earth.

I wish your username was less inviting to bad puns.

At 9/9/14 09:22 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
I wish your username was less inviting to bad puns.

Granted, you two switch accounts.

I wish I got the job that I applied for, because I know I can do it. Plus I'd get to work shoulder to shoulder with some of my oldest friends.

At 9/9/14 08:23 PM, SentForMe wrote:

I wish that the whole world was made of gold.

Granted. The soft metal wrapped around the liquid hot core instantly implodes.

I wish for the person answering this wish to get a really nice bowie knife.

At 9/9/14 08:38 PM, stafffighter wrote:
I wish for the person answering this wish to get a really nice bowie knife.

Granted. It's a dull replica...it looks great, but it's practically useless.

It has something ingrained on it... "Love, stafffighter."

Huh...thanks, I guess... now I have this bigass display knife...not big enough to wall mount, but not small enough to desk mount...what the hell am I supposed to do with this.

I later gift you with something impractical. Its an awkward affair.

I wish to be permanently in shape, like a Spartan from 300.

At 9/9/14 10:17 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish everything was biodegradable.

Granted. Everything decays at a hyper-accelerated rate. They call it "The Great Rottening."

Famine ensues. Many die.

( See wish above )

At 9/10/14 01:25 AM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish for a steam powered zeppelin that feels like a mansion inside!

Granted. You even get a pilot with it so you don't have to fly it yourself. The only problem is, that pilot used to work for Malaysian Airlines...

I wish for a mansion.

At 9/10/14 09:07 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I owned a whole ocean.

Granted, and you drown in it.

I wish I was a Viking.

At 9/10/14 09:11 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/10/14 09:07 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I owned a whole ocean.

Granted, and you drown in it.

I wish I was a Viking.

Granted, but then you have to chop your faping arm

i wish i was a homosexual dickbutt

At 9/10/14 02:43 PM, ChuckMcKiller123 wrote:
i wish i was a homosexual dickbutt

Granted. You are relatively the same, except you are attracted to the same sex, you're a mean-spirited dick, but you're a clumsy idiot, so you're the butt of all jokes. You have no friends because you drove them away with your dickishness. You find it difficult to hold down a meaningful relationship because your heart isn't into it...plus, y'know, acting like a dickbutt ain't attractive. You die a lonely and unfulfilling life.

I wish every component of my motorcycle was in top, perfect operational condition.

At 9/10/14 10:54 PM, SentForMe wrote:
I wish for world peace.

Granted. By some wild coincidence, for 24 hours, punctuated by a single gun-shot in the middle east...no one dies... no one wars... no one fights... for a simple 24 hours as the world spins, the world knows peace unannounced. A witless human race goes about their daily lives, going about their daily jobs, and those that knew peace as normality notice nothing different. It was just another day to them.

But to those that live in violence regularly. They see the sick still ill. The starving still hungry...the dying die, and the mad ramble on like they always have. But the dogs of war cease. Guns clenched tight sit still. Bombs rigged lay harmlessly. Jets patrol. Policemen watch. Criminals sleep. Animals hunt, and the predators feast, but man throws no punch. The bullies stomp no kicks. The abusive fathers raise no voice. Family raise no hands against their spouse or their children. The abusers go on about their day without abusing, and the soldiers wait...and when that sun lurches back to where it was 24 hours ago, it all resumes again. Nothing changed...just a day for a break. A day to breathe, and back to life. Everything is normal again.

I wish all of my clothes were neatly organized and cleaned in my room.

At 9/11/14 06:31 AM, Phobotech wrote: I wish all of my clothes were neatly organized and cleaned in my room.

Granted, but your room is locked from the inside and you can't get in.

I wish for a good beef steak.

At 9/11/14 11:57 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I could control time.

Granted. You set the clock.

I wish for a fancy pocket watch.

At 9/11/14 12:53 PM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/11/14 11:57 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish I could control time.

Granted. You set the clock.

I wish for a fancy pocket watch.

Granted. You get an Apple Watch ripoff that's powered with D batteries, and it shows anything but time.

I wish Black Mesa would be teleported to Equestria instead of being nuked in the original game...

At 9/11/14 04:31 PM, je171 wrote:
I wish naked big tittied women would fall from the sky.

Granted. They spawn at the heights of ensured terminal velocity. If any of them survive the landing, it'll be a miracle...it is a grotesquely horrifying ordeal, some of the women are kinda thick. Cars and property are severely damaged and the roads run slick with blood and gibs. It rains for so heavily and for so long, that it is seen as a flippant gesture from an angry god.

I wish to be a God for a year.

At 9/11/14 05:16 PM, Slacker013 wrote:

At 9/11/14 05:00 PM, Phobotech wrote:

I wish to be a God for a year.

Granted, your the Greek God of flushing toilets, may the toilet never be clogged! You're pretty much a glorified plumber that wears a loincloth...

I wish to ride on top of a nuclear bomb that at least crushes someone upon impact besides me!

Your wish is granted. You ride the nuclear bomb, sailing through space, and race through the stars above until you finally begin to descend into clouds. While your vision is obscured for a while, soon you exit out from the clouds to see a city below you. As the nuclear bomb nears the ground, an unsuspecting man reading a newspaper looks up for a second to see where a strangely shaped shadow is coming from. His eyes widen as he sees you maniacally laughing on top of the speeding bomb, and BAM. Dead. You are unscathed, and survive the explosion, which wiped out several blocks in the area. However the radiation from the bomb causes you to become ill with butt cheek cancer, and you spend the next two years of your life with itchy butt cheeks, slightly purple and bruised. In those two years it hurts to sit, and you've had to learn how to sleep standing up. You die due to your pain, and the mortician as well as the 4 students from a university sitting in all laugh at your purple butt. At least you're not alive, and were spared that indecency....

I'm gonna play the beauty pageant card. I WISH FOR WORLD PEACE.

At 9/11/14 11:31 PM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish to have the original can of spam.

Granted, you get the can but its content has long been eaten.

I wish for something nice.

At 9/12/14 08:47 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/11/14 11:31 PM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish to have the original can of spam.

Granted, you get the can but its content has long been eaten.

I wish for something nice.

You get a strawberry lollipop that is shaped like one of the Tankmen :D

I wish for a whistling pinwheel

At 9/12/14 09:06 AM, glazov123 wrote:

At 9/12/14 08:47 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:

At 9/11/14 11:31 PM, Slacker013 wrote: I wish to have the original can of spam.

Granted, you get the can but its content has long been eaten.

I wish for something nice.

You get a strawberry lollipop that is shaped like one of the Tankmen :D

I wish for a whistling pinwheel

Granted, it whistles nonstop until you go deaf.

And now I wish for a strawberry lollipop shaped like one of the Tankmen.

At 9/12/14 09:08 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote:
Granted, it whistles nonstop until you go deaf.

And now I wish for a strawberry lollipop shaped like one of the Tankmen.

You get a lemon-flavoured instead, and it's shaped like a Madness guy

I wish for a brony detector and a jetpack

At 9/12/14 09:18 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish for a brony detector and a jetpack

Granted. The brony detector tells you that you are one, and the jetpack explodes.

I just wish for any sort of tasty lollipop shaped like a Newgrounds mascot.

At 9/12/14 09:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I just wish for any sort of tasty lollipop shaped like a Newgrounds mascot.

Granted. You get a lollipop shaped like Strawberry Clock, and its flavour is not even strawberry!

I wish to attend a concert of “Michael Johnson and the Dancing Amish farmers from Outer Space”. It's a crapcore band that's super-popular somewhere between former Atlantis and Canada.

At 9/12/14 09:27 AM, glazov123 wrote:

At 9/12/14 09:20 AM, NewgroundsMike wrote: I just wish for any sort of tasty lollipop shaped like a Newgrounds mascot.

Granted. You get a lollipop shaped like Strawberry Clock, and its flavour is not even strawberry!

I wish to attend a concert of “Michael Johnson and the Dancing Amish farmers from Outer Space”. It's a crapcore band that's super-popular somewhere between former Atlantis and Canada.

Granted, but the concert takes place somewhere between former Atlantis and Canada, and as you might know, there's nothing there but ocean.

I wish you'd finally start corrupting my wishes.

At 9/12/14 09:33 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for a pocket full of sunshine.

Granted. Your pocket contains the Sun, which burns you, as well as the rest of the Earth.

I wish for a mechanical exoskeleton

At 9/12/14 09:33 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for a pocket full of sunshine.

Granted, you carry an actual sun in your pocket. You burn down within less than a second.

I wish for happiness.

At 9/12/14 09:35 AM, glazov123 wrote: I wish for a mechanical exoskeleton

Granted, it develops a life of its own and kills you.

At 9/12/14 09:38 AM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for 3 eggs.

Granted, one of them is rotten, the second is a fish's egg that doesn't really do anything against your hunger, and the third is an American Football.

I wish to win the user icon battle.

At 9/12/14 11:25 PM, SentForMe wrote: I wish for a super cool one of a kind piece of string.

Granted, it's so cool you freeze to death.

I wish for pizza.