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I got a girl pregnant

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Jeffyx
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:06:42

At 3/4/13 04:20 PM, Spedmallet wrote:
At 3/4/13 04:09 PM, Zachary wrote:
Cheating is for the scummiest of the scumbags.
Well this is where I disagree, it's a dick move I agree but
1. I was drunk

That's a shitty fucking excuse.

Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:07:14

At 3/4/13 05:02 PM, Zachary wrote:
At 3/4/13 04:55 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: here is the bet way to go about it: tell her she's got 2 options Abortion (heaven forbid) or Adoption
Then she tells him to go fuck himself and that he will be paying child support? It's not really his choice. What will he be able to do if she says no?

he can sign away his parental rights. no child support sure he won't be able to see the kid till he's 18.

Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:07:43

At 3/4/13 05:06 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:02 PM, Zachary wrote:
Then she tells him to go fuck himself and that he will be paying child support? It's not really his choice. What will he be able to do if she says no? It doesn't matter if he doesn't want it, he was the one who decided to have sex with her and the risk of a baby was involved.
I know where you are coming from, but you are being a huge white knight.

Because telling him like it is, is white knighting? He knew the risks involved now he put himself into this situation. That's not white knighting, it's calling taking responsibility for your actions.

Cool anarchy logo by the way, you're such a rebel.

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BumFodder
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:09:15

At 3/4/13 05:06 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:02 PM, Zachary wrote:
Then she tells him to go fuck himself and that he will be paying child support? It's not really his choice. What will he be able to do if she says no? It doesn't matter if he doesn't want it, he was the one who decided to have sex with her and the risk of a baby was involved.
I know where you are coming from, but you are being a huge white knight.

Hes not white knighting, Zachary is just stating the obvious which the OP cant seem to comprehend.

Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:11:18

At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:02 PM, Zachary wrote:
At 3/4/13 04:55 PM, Tony-DarkGrave wrote: here is the bet way to go about it: tell her she's got 2 options Abortion (heaven forbid) or Adoption
Then she tells him to go fuck himself and that he will be paying child support? It's not really his choice. What will he be able to do if she says no?
he can sign away his parental rights. no child support sure he won't be able to see the kid till he's 18.

Except he will still have to pay child support. You can't just have a kid and not pay child support unless the mother waives it off. Why do you think so many dads are forced to be paying child support on children they don't want? If he doesn't pay, then he will be arrested.


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KratosDeimos
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:11:24

You are a cheater,you dont deserve anything,but man,pay a person to make a plastic surgery and make anything that your another girl needs,and you stay with your girlfriend,and if that dont go well...you deserved it!

Satan
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:14:24

At 3/4/13 04:59 PM, Spedmallet wrote:

I do have a part time job, I'd work full time but I play lead guitar in my band and playing at shows takes a lot of time from me.

You selfish, selfish, prick.


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BumFodder
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:14:36

At 3/4/13 05:13 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: Being as pessimistic and bias as you can be equals telling it like it is?

How is he being pessimistic? He is being biased but its because he wants to tell him he truth.

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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:16:23

At 3/4/13 05:11 PM, Zachary wrote: Except he will still have to pay child support. You can't just have a kid and not pay child support unless the mother waives it off. Why do you think so many dads are forced to be paying child support on children they don't want? If he doesn't pay, then he will be arrested.

a father can sign off his parental rights cutting off all contact (including child support) you need a lawyer the proper paperwork the mother can agree or contest it, but it usually that would be the decision of the judge and the laws in your jurisdiction.

Spedmallet
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:16:34

At 3/4/13 05:11 PM, Zachary wrote: Except he will still have to pay child support. You can't just have a kid and not pay child support unless the mother waives it off. Why do you think so many dads are forced to be paying child support on children they don't want? If he doesn't pay, then he will be arrested.

Listen, if it happens it happens I'll pay what I can, but I see plenty of dudes get away with that shit. Not that I'm saying I won't


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Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:16:38

At 3/4/13 05:13 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:07 PM, Zachary wrote:
Because telling him like it is, is white knighting? He knew the risks involved now he put himself into this situation. That's not white knighting, it's calling taking responsibility for your actions.

Cool anarchy logo by the way, you're such a rebel.
Being as pessimistic and bias as you can be equals telling it like it is?

What did I say that was pessimistic? Want me to be optimistic? The girl says he doesn't have to pay child support/doesn't have to be part of the child's life and he can go about his life with his girlfriend. The odds of that happening? Slim to none. I'm just being realistic. That's not even factoring his morals about his relationship with his girlfriend. If you think she won't eventually find out then you're wrong.


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BumFodder
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:19:11

At 3/4/13 05:17 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: He is being a pessimist by shooting everything down and focusing only on the negative and obvious. He is telling the truth by pointing out the obvious, but he is also venting his emotions.

Hes shooting it all down because the chances of any of them happening is almost nothing, yes he is a bit emotional but that doesnt really effect the truth.

Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:23:04

At 3/4/13 05:19 PM, BumFodder wrote:
At 3/4/13 05:17 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: He is being a pessimist by shooting everything down and focusing only on the negative and obvious. He is telling the truth by pointing out the obvious, but he is also venting his emotions.
Hes shooting it all down because the chances of any of them happening is almost nothing, yes he is a bit emotional but that doesnt really effect the truth.

Lmao sorry if I came off as emotional I don't really care THAT much. I'm more angry at his ignorance than the fact that he cheated. I've never been cheated on or cheated on anyone, but obviously that isn't something anyone "wants" to happen. I guess what I'm trying to do is break through his ignorance, but it is hopeless.


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Zachary
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:25:32

At 3/4/13 05:23 PM, Stereocrisis wrote: Dude, first of all, don't listen to what people are going to say. Cheating isn't for the "scummiest of scumbags" like that one mod said. Don't get me wrong, it's not right. It creates lots of problems and hurt feelings. But are you the lowest form of scum? No. You're human, made a mistake, and as long as this type of behavior is out-of-character, then you're not a terrible person.

Have you read his other posts? It ISN'T out of character at all.

"2. There's no ring on it yet. Look, I know this may come off a brash, and it's certainly fucked me over, but until there's a ring on it there's no solid rule of law that says I can't mess around a bit before I settle down. You can disagree if you want but entering a commitment without really experimenting can leave you with an unhappy union; as the high divorce rate nowadays will show you."

The rest of your post isn't even worth addressing because you are making assumptions about the people responding to him (and his girlfriend).


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PotHeadParadise
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:28:40

Bro, im not a mean guy but you deserve it.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:29:38

At 3/4/13 04:04 PM, Spedmallet wrote: And I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.

Essentially I hooked up with this girl at a friend's house party. Long story short I got a phone call that was essentially my doom-sentence; that this girl was pregnant with what she believed was my child. I tried to talk her into getting an abortion and she absolutely refuses.

This will ruin my life.

I have been going steady with my girlfriend for roughly two years now; I love her with all my heart, but she will never forgive me for this when she finds out. And with the other girl constantly breathing down my neck I don't know how much longer I can hide it from her.

So I ask you newgrounds, what do you suggest I do? What can I do to hide this from my girlfriend, and what can I do to possibly convince the other girl to abort the fetus?

For one, did she actually confirmed it was your child or is she actually lying to you? In either case you need to find out the truth and nothing but the truth for as much as knowing the harsh bitter truth hurts, the harsh bitter truth can set you free from the very questions that plague yourself.

For two, if it is confirmed it is your child and refused to get an abortion, you could try to convince her to put the child up for adoption if you don't feel ready to be a father, and if that doesn't work then you might as well consider the idea of taking responsibility for your actions.
In other-words, learn from your own mishaps in life, you learn from your own mishaps you'll learn to not repeat them again.

Then finally for three, if you learn that her child is truly yours then you might as well express the harsh bitter truth to your girlfriend, sure she won't be too happy once she knows but it's better to tell her once that moment is there before she ends up finding out herself. Believe me you don't want her to find out on her own, you need to lay down the truth once the moment is there for it, but then again if you find out what that other dudette says is a lie then rest assured your in the safe zone and that other dudette has been attempting to mess with your head.

In either case, this alone is just a reminder that despite the fact that people mess up in life, people in turn can also learn from the mishaps of others.

Spedmallet
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:33:05

At 3/4/13 05:23 PM, Zachary wrote: Lmao sorry if I came off as emotional I don't really care THAT much. I'm more angry at his ignorance than the fact that he cheated. I've never been cheated on or cheated on anyone, but obviously that isn't something anyone "wants" to happen. I guess what I'm trying to do is break through his ignorance, but it is hopeless.

I'm listening man but you're just not really giving me any solid advice :/


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:33:30

At 3/4/13 04:04 PM, Spedmallet wrote: So I ask you newgrounds, what do you suggest I do? What can I do to hide this from my girlfriend, and what can I do to possibly convince the other girl to abort the fetus?

Convince her to abort? That should be a mutual decision, if she doesn't want to, then don't force her. It doesn't matter how the mess was made, but now that it is what it is, just take the consequences. Ask her what she wants to do, respect her decision, compromise, work things out. And tell your girlfriend the truth, trying to hide it or deny it will just complicate things in the long run.

tahm10
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:35:28

You should do something to piss off the mob that involves you and your girlfriend. Then, with possible danger to the life of you and your girlfriend, enter witness protection. Your new identity will allow you to live peacefully with your girlfriend(And no way for the pregnant girl to find you) with the only problems being the loss of all your other family members and loved ones(The mob is going to want someone offed). The grief caused by all the deaths you've caused could lead to you're girlfriend duping you, making this entire process pointless; but hey, no repercussions for the one night stand...

Or, you know, suck it up and take the consequences like a man.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:37:03

At 3/4/13 05:33 PM, Cyberdevil wrote: Convince her to abort? That should be a mutual decision, if she doesn't want to, then don't force her. It doesn't matter how the mess was made, but now that it is what it is, just take the consequences. Ask her what she wants to do, respect her decision, compromise, work things out. And tell your girlfriend the truth, trying to hide it or deny it will just complicate things in the long run.

Yeah, as I've stated it's not really a mutual thing. I've noticed the trend is 'just confess it to her shithead' but really I want that to be something of a last resort.


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:38:28

abort or adoption if they are both no's Lawyer up and threaten to sign away your rights and see if you don't have to pay child support, if you are in school with loans and no job you have a pretty good chance.

TracyJacksonTAW
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:42:16

Yikes, that sure is bad luck then. I'd consider just hiring a cheap lawyer and make your you are not liable to be sued if you decide to avoid child payment. Also, get her to go to a doctor and have you personally oversee a DNA test.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:44:30

See you on Maury!


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:45:21

At 3/4/13 05:25 PM, Zachary wrote:
The rest of your post isn't even worth addressing because you are making assumptions about the people responding to him (and his girlfriend).

So now your'e defending this prick?


Thumbs up if you...oh wait, i have a life.

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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:50:01

At 3/4/13 05:42 PM, TracyJacksonTAW wrote: Yikes, that sure is bad luck then. I'd consider just hiring a cheap lawyer and make your you are not liable to be sued if you decide to avoid child payment. Also, get her to go to a doctor and have you personally oversee a DNA test.

Well, do you know if I would be able to say, hire the lawyer and have him sort of make her submit to a DNA test? Because she refuses to help me pay for it


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 17:53:53

At 3/4/13 05:37 PM, Spedmallet wrote: Yeah, as I've stated it's not really a mutual thing. I've noticed the trend is 'just confess it to her shithead' but really I want that to be something of a last resort.

It's a potentially mutual child however you look at it. Ignoring the 'problem' won't make it go away, since it's not just your problem, it's also hers, and since you have a girlfriend it's also your girlfriend's. It's human to make mistakes, sure, but the choice to run away from the problem or take care of it is up to the character. I'm not preaching moral values or anything. As I see it that's just the right thing to do for everyone involved. Hope it works out somehow.

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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:00:42

Your problem, not ours. Maybe if you just kept that dick in your pants, you wouldn't be in this situation. Cheating on her also proves that you are a scumbag. You don't need advice here, you deserve to suffer for your idiotic actions.


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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:12:29

At 3/4/13 06:09 PM, IdiLogicSavant wrote: If i was in his shoes i'd be more worried about the well being of the kid.

I know I am, that's why I'm trying to convince her to abort it


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Tony-DarkGrave
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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:13:56

At 3/4/13 06:12 PM, Spedmallet wrote:
I know I am, that's why I'm trying to convince her to abort it

it would be better if you chose adoption otherwise DNA test, also how old are you and whats your income?

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Response to I got a girl pregnant 2013-03-04 18:38:59

At 3/4/13 04:37 PM, Spedmallet wrote: And as I have said before, I'm looking for suggestions, not hindsight.

I still think what you did was pretty awful, but fine, fair enough.

You're asking for advice but you haven't given a whole lot of information for us to go on. This might be a shot in the dark, but are you sure the girl isn't just flat-out lying? What was her angle when she called you? Was she just notifying you that she was pregnant? Asking for support? Trying to rope you into a relationship/marriage/whatever? I don't know, this kind of thing is unlikely but not unheard of.

Also, what's the timeframe here? How long ago did you have sex? How far along is she claiming to be? Assuming she is actually pregnant, could you reasonably assume that somebody else is the father? Do you know her well enough that you know who those potential fathers might be?

If you suspect that she's lying, then call her bluff, she can't keep it going forever. I still think it's wrong to be keeping secrets like this from your girlfriend, but I don't know the particulars of how your relationship works, so whatever.

If she actually is pregnant and you actually are the father, then there is no hiding this from your girlfriend. You should tell her immediately; the longer you wait, the worse it will get. She will find out one way or another, and you're much better off being honest with her than waiting for her to catch you lying. If she stays with you, you are a very lucky man. If she leaves, well, frankly, who can blame her?

And then, difficult as it is, you kind of have to man up and be supportive. This girl is probably scared shitless, and I know that you are too, but it's worse for her because at the end of the day she can't just cut and run like you can. By all means, keep trying to convince her that abortion or adoption would be better solutions (because they would be), but if she does ultimately keep it, you should be prepared to deal with that, rather than trying to find a way out. Because at that point, there isn't one, and it's not just yourself you need to worry about anymore.

But at this early stage, I'd mostly recommend just meeting with her in person to talk shit out, and to calmly explain to her why you think abortion or adoption are the ways to go. Take it from there.


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