The Unquenchable Audience of Art

[pkrbarmovie]

I was having a weird monologue while I was talking with my roommate:

Why don't we leave,
Why wouldn't we go?
Walk and talk.
I'll talk, you'll walk.
I'll say:

We men
Are aesthetic creatures,
We love well drawn features.
What is beauty? What is truth?
Please, don't answer, friend.
It would only ruin me.

We men
Are aesthetic creatures,
We love hearing pictures,
Language is our tool,
our forgotten site.
Language is not a brick, friend.
It is a small stool.
A stool on which we should stand,
not sit.

He lied to me, to us, friend.
The one above the sky.
There is no beauty in his words.
He only strikes dissonant chords.
Frivolously I declare,
No beauty, then no truth.
God is not Shakespeare,
nor is he Bach, nor da Vinci.
I pity those who believed in him
in the days of yonder.
They shamed their brains,
now shame their graves.

Then I'll say:
Cinema! Look a theater.
Let us go inside.
And we will,
we will go inside.

Shush! My friend please,
do not speak now.
The theater is crowded,
with empty seats.
And a black cat would watch the movie.
I wonder if this cat
likes the movie.

We men are aesthetic creatures,
Look, friend, look at the screen,
Try to see farther than your nose.
Don't you see?

No, it's not reality!
Or if it is, I surely can't see it.
I only see a beautiful distortion.
I love how that character says
the exact same words all over again.
He must be making a point,
or maybe is he acting?
Or maybe is he reenacting...

Then it's over and I'll say:

Wasn't that beautiful
how they spoke of autumn leaves?
Is Art our savior?
Is he God?
Or is science better?
Shouldn't we laugh at Art.
Isn't Art a dream?
Isn't the filmmaker the craftsman of a dream?
W should laugh.

I'll start dancing, laughing, crying, laughing again,
and you'll scratch your chin and say:
How weird you are, my friend, today.
And I will say that everyone is equally weird.
I just show it a tad more.

And we'll walk back home.
Sadness in the air.
We will travel far.
No Odyssey, thank you.
I am no hero.
Not brave, nor as smart as my reflections.
Not sensible enough
to feel the world's complexions.
But soon.
And soon,
I'll tell you what my favorite movie is:
it's like a dream, a girl and in the end
two instruments play. She and he.
And their guitars.
It was a dream.
A dream on my computer.

Which I illegally downloaded...

I hope you enjoyed this "short" poem. Review if you wish and share your thoughts, please.

[Seasons]

At 2/26/13 01:43 PM, pkrbarmovie wrote: I was having a weird monologue while I was talking with my roommate:

This is actually a really awesome way to start off. Something about poems containing a single line at the start really appeals to me.

Why don't we leave,
Why wouldn't we go?
Walk and talk.
I'll talk, you'll walk.
I'll say:

OK, be careful with this sort of repetition. It makes you sound conceited; and the point you are trying to make will therefore seemed contrived.

He lied to me, to us, friend.
The one above the sky.
There is no beauty in his words.
He only strikes dissonant chords.

Meh. This sort of imagery is pretty overdone.

Then I'll say:
Cinema! Look a theater.
Let us go inside.
And we will,
we will go inside.

Again, that type of repetition can be very irritating! Careful!

We men are aesthetic creatures,
Look, friend, look at the screen,
Try to see farther than your nose.
Don't you see?

Not bad. Though there is a bit of that same contrived repetition still going on.

Wasn't that beautiful
how they spoke of autumn leaves?
Is Art our savior?
Is he God?
Or is science better?
Shouldn't we laugh at Art.
Isn't Art a dream?
Isn't the filmmaker the craftsman of a dream?
W should laugh.

This is meh. I understand what you're trying to say, but it's just such an overdone subject that I'm not having much of a reaction. Your voice (i.e. the voice of the poem) is also sounding pretty overly dramatic at this point, thanks mostly to the aforementioned repetition.

I'll start dancing, laughing, crying, laughing again,
and you'll scratch your chin and say:
How weird you are, my friend, today.
And I will say that everyone is equally weird.
I just show it a tad more.

These are probably my favorite lines! No repetition, no overdone b.s. subject matter, plus you have a great rhyme scheme and rhythm going... these lines are awesome, in my opinion!

No Odyssey, thank you.
I am no hero.
Not brave, nor as smart as my reflections.
Not sensible enough
to feel the world's complexions.

Not bad, though you are dealing with a relatively common theme and there is some pretty overused imagery, the bulk of the poem remains enjoyable nevertheless.

Sorry for the drunkenly written review, but I figured it's better than nothing. I think it's pretty awesome that there's a writing forum now. Haven't been around for the past couple of years. Here's to hoping that my review will help pump some life into this dead space of a forum.

Cheers!

[pkrbarmovie]

Thank you very much for the review! I'll try posting more stuff if I write any.