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Awkward boner moments?

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positively-negative
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-10-13 08:22:39

Well, I was at the bar/nightclub, and I was out having a cigarette. I started talking to this rather attractive woman, and one thing led to another, and we ended up making out and then she put her hand down my pants and started rubbing my cock. So in reply I went and put my hand up her skirt to finger her, and ended up running into her boner...

Yes, you heard me, HER boner...

fabbef
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-10-14 11:01:32

Only me who gets a boner after reading all the stories? xD

At 10/13/13 08:16 AM, DevourerJay wrote: Maybe after listening to this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egcXvqiho4w

HAHAHA, yea :D

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-10-14 11:03:30

right before you take a big shit

ragnkinson
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-10-14 11:04:32

Every boner moment


The cake is a liar!

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-10-14 17:03:00

You can't control the boner, the boner controls you!

RenfieldHarker
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-23 13:40:17

At 10/2/13 12:57 PM, Lemonardo wrote:
At 10/2/13 07:35 AM, RenfieldHarker wrote:
At 7/24/13 09:29 PM, Lemonardo wrote: I've never had an 'awkward boner moment.'

I'm not weird.
Ah....you're not weird? I'm sorry. Life must be so hard for the normal. Were you born that way, or was your weird simply stunted during your childhood?
I didn't know people would defend being awkward.

I'm sorry I upset you.

I am not upset, nor am I offended. I merely weep for those who haven't embraced the odd. I weep great big crocodile tears. The scales hurt when they come out of my eyes.
At the end of the day, we are at peace, brother-of-the-Net. I have no quarrel with thee.


How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It's already been changed! Nobody knew about it! WE'VE ALL BEEN LULLED TO SLEEP AND BEEN FED LIES!

Jaruwaan86
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-23 14:21:39

Personally there is no such thing as an awkward boner moment. Just the boner of the moment (~_^).

At 7/17/10 11:14 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote: What's the most awkward moment you've gotten a boner? Could be a story of something that happened to you that resulted in an awkward erection, or it could be the strangest thing that gives you a hard-on.


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Lemonardo
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-23 15:06:29

At 12/23/13 01:40 PM, RenfieldHarker wrote: I am not upset, nor am I offended. I merely weep for those who haven't embraced the odd. I weep great big crocodile tears. The scales hurt when they come out of my eyes.
At the end of the day, we are at peace, brother-of-the-Net. I have no quarrel with thee.

*tips fedora*

Awkward boner moments?


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Sequenced
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-23 21:36:54

I'm lucky enough to not have one of these experiences yet.


lel

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AnonymousAlchemist
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 04:19:41

At 12/23/13 09:36 PM, Sequenced wrote: I'm lucky enough to not have one of these experiences yet.

Don't worry! You'll have all time in the world to have an awkward boner when puberty hits!

JimmyTheCaterpillar
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 04:35:29

I got both a boner AND really horny EVERY SINGLE DAY in my math class last year.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever.


SIG BY AMARANTHUS.| I USED TO BE BROKENRECORD6299 AND UNCLECUBONE
| I play a lot of Smash Bros.| Here's some advice on how to be a writer.
Shaboogity.

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 04:46:54

My grandmother's viewing at the Funeral Home.

Honestly, she looked fine as fuck and I couldn't help but fucking stare at her tits. I honestly started sweating and my palms were shaking. Everyone noticed the protruding instrument in my pants that kept arising as every breath I took in made it bigger and plentiful.

Most women who viewed this uprising were very close relatives, like my mother or my aunts. I honestly didn't know what to do except to remove this protrusion of pure Masculinity and Dominance. Not waiting a second more, I furiously grabbed the hardened attachment that disturbed and aroused everyone around me.

I began to stroke, slow at first, but then at a steady pace I eventually mastered the beast as an alive Steve Irwin would with a Copperhead snake from North America. I began to vigorously stroke, causing envy in every male in the family and sheer lust from every single female in the entire room.

And then quick as thunder, but slow as molasses, a very hot and steamy liquid erupted from the Vesuvius that I call my penis. The thick and moist liquid was very hot to the touch that it burnt my trousers and had leaped over my grandmother's face.

It left a white residue of pure beauty that was a sight to behold, it looked as though her face had been cast in Porcelain and she forever remained with my personal gem I gave her.

As the whole ordeal was over, I sat to my chair and everyone had clapped over the spectacle of sheer intensity and awe. By the end of the day, I was no longer a child, but a man who had claimed his prize.

And his prize, was Justice.


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Kiki-Mimi
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 05:12:13

Ha! sucks to be you guys :p im a girl so i dont have to worry about having/hiding a boner. have i had many awkward sexual moments, yes. can i be easily turned on and horny constantly? yes, and yes again but you just won't know it. i used to be Very naughty when i was younger masturbating constantly all the time to tons of things- Hentai, yaoi, plushies, pillows, toys, with my imagination, and you don't even want to know etc. some of my most embarrassing/ awkward sexual and "boner" moment would be being caught masturbating, listening to folks doing it- we all slept in the same room at one point, drawing naughty stick figures, being caught by my lil sis while having sex a few times, squirting for the first time and said "Ah... no... i'm leaking" making a lil puddle, in school i had the hots for some my teacher so i masturbated in school taking long bathroom brakes, and just randomly ill get random spontaneous jolts of OMG i want to do it. horny!!! lustful urges fidgeting my legs tossing and turning since i can't seem to control my craving for sex to feel satisfied and Good~ they are all equally awkward moments in my life in the past.
What really gets me off is Futanari (chicks with a penis) whenever i watch hentai i always try to find ones with futa chicks or even just lesbians; good ol' girl on girl action with toys count to. i'm pansexual/bi so why i love them and i'm rather kinky tah as well as a dork. haha all in good fun ehehe :3

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 06:10:31

At 12/30/13 05:12 AM, Kiki-Mimi wrote: Ha! sucks to be you guys :p im a girl so i dont have to worry about having/hiding a boner. have i had many a

Trying too hard.


Pretend not to care about anything, but be bothered by everything.
You may be fast on the roads but it's no use on the track.
ScaryPicnic made me do it.My letterboxd.

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Satan
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 06:23:01

At 12/30/13 05:12 AM, Kiki-Mimi wrote: Ha! sucks to be you guys :p im a girl

Stopped reading right there.

Awkward boner moments?


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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2013-12-30 15:37:05

At 12/30/13 04:19 AM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote:
At 12/23/13 09:36 PM, Sequenced wrote: I'm lucky enough to not have one of these experiences yet.
Don't worry! You'll have all time in the world to have an awkward boner when puberty hits!

uh, I ain't 12, bro.


lel

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ookalo
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-02-22 23:33:11

At 7/17/10 11:14 PM, AnonymousAlchemist wrote: What's the most awkward moment you've gotten a boner? Could be a story of something that happened to you that resulted in an awkward erection, or it could be the strangest thing that gives you a hard-on.

once i was standing in class and this girl that i kind of have a crush on reaches back and hits her elbow directly on my boner and looks at me like she didnt notice anything

SneakyGameBoy
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-02-22 23:55:11

I watched a movie in Imax 3D for the first time. The visuals got me so excited that I got boner out of nowhere.


XBL Gamertag: Cpt D3FAULT | PSN ID: SNEAKYGAMEBOY | GAMING SINCE 2002 ;D

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Ashpw
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-03-31 16:35:48

Well.. I get boners all the time but once i was at geography class where i sit near a hawt girl with a huge ass(good ass) and then we were like cuddling because we sit together and then i got a boner. She then looked at my massive boner and said "nice boner" and was like oops and she started reaching for it

Spedmallet
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-03-31 17:34:39

only ng and /b/ would have a +8 page topic on awkward boners

at least /b/ has anonymity


Dr. Spedmund McMallet

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Clamstuffer
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-03-31 19:35:26

At 3/31/14 04:35 PM, Ashpw wrote: Well.. I get boners all the time but once i was at geography class where i sit near a hawt girl with a huge ass(good ass) and then we were like cuddling because we sit together and then i got a boner. She then looked at my massive boner and said "nice boner" and was like oops and she started reaching for it

One time I went a mansion party with supermodels and we were snorting cocaine on a yacht and I got a boner and they were like "nice boner" and started reaching for it.


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ManDeep
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-03-31 19:44:25

At 3/31/14 07:35 PM, Clamstuffer wrote:
One time I went a mansion party with supermodels and we were snorting cocaine on a yacht and I got a boner and they were like "nice boner" and started reaching for it.

That sounds really awkward, i'd prefer dying in a situation like that.

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-01 02:59:08

I feel like drawing peoples stories. Happy boner picture :D

Awkward boner moments?


>:[C]

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SirKillington
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-01 03:37:48

This is Yukin's story :D

Awkward boner moments?


>:[C]

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SirKillington
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-01 04:05:17

And another...

Awkward boner moments?


>:[C]

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SirKillington
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-01 04:29:12

AND ANOTHER!!!!!

Awkward boner moments?


>:[C]

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AnonymousAlchemist
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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-01 07:19:42

At 4/1/14 04:29 AM, SirKillington wrote: AND ANOTHER!!!!!

All of those are actually pretty good! I'm impressed!

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-29 17:41:56

At 7/18/10 01:38 AM, ghostdude69 wrote: i was in spanish class and i had some kahkis on, and i had a boner and ten the guy nextto me looks down and says ew what the hell is that lump in your pants

Wait why would the guys be focused on yo pants and yo boners?

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-04-29 18:36:12

i was hugging this girl once, and i got a boner out of no where and poked her in the leg. she didn't say anything, but i know she felt it.

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Response to Awkward boner moments? 2014-09-11 00:33:15

One time this really hot chick walk by me and tripped over a step. She was on her knees right next to my dick and that was the fastest erection ive ever gotten ever. She started grinding on me and my zipper got caught on er tights (you could see her vagina) and that was awkward. Then my dentists assistant was in the room with me all alone she straddled me and started rubbing herself on me. I got a huge boner and she did that tho whole time she cleaned my teeth. She was wearin a skirt and I was wearing loose shorts and she actually put my dick in her vagina three times it was awkward.