I look about and I see the injustice and the devastation. I see good men swallowed up by the assclownery of the wicked, sacked and tagged alongside the deserving. This epidemy continues to spread unchecked, and no one is immune. To this plight, I am not unsympathetic.

I'm putting together a special team. And I need volunteers.

Any man who chooses to join these ranks will accrue a debt. A debt you owe me personally.

Every man under my command owes me 100 Troll scalps. And goddammit I want my scalps.

I will be cruel to the trolls. And through my cruelty they will know who we are.
They will be sickened by us.
They will talk about us.
They will leave many butthurt comments on your userpages, and their tears will be our sustenance.

Y'all will get me my 100 scalps. Or you will get banned trying.

*Disclaimer - as long as you pm me rather than posting directly on the bbs, you will not be banned. Every person who successfully captures me a troll scalp will be treated with consideration if/when the next time you are facing a ban yourself ;)

Basterds: get crackin'.

Can I be the sexy American-UK-German spy actress bitch?

Sir yes sir.

BRB sharpening my Troll skinning knife.

At 1/26/10 04:24 PM, Toukeman wrote: BRB sharpening my Troll skinning knife.

Same here. Ready to hunt trolls.

I haven't been troll hunting in a long time. better practice before I get out into the fields.

Jamoke I suddenly gained a huge bit of respect for you.

I might be in touch in the future.

screw getting scalps
I'm calling in a TACTICAL NUKE
rofl

Been waiting for this for a long time, Sir.

Growing up in the rocky mountains, it behoves oneself to keep his wits. If sumthin' sound too good to be true, it ain't.

Guess hunting trolls might be easy.

At 1/26/10 04:25 PM, Im-A-Pirate wrote: Man, none of you understand that if it wasn't for trolls trolling noobs, trolls trolling trolls, and trolls trolling themselves, newgrounds wouldn't be as interesting or funny as it is. Why are you trying to take that away?

What you refer to as "interesting" others call spreading Super AIDS.

If any man is content with constantly getting railed by the posting-in-a-spam-thread ban because some schoolyard reject decided to create fracas over anime or the Jonas Bros, then by all means continue to pass an uncaring gaze over all that causes unrest.

For the rest of you, grab your sharpest fillet knife and start cuttin' me some cranium steaks.
Open season, boys.

At 1/26/10 04:30 PM, Tobi wrote: Growing up in the rocky mountains, it behoves oneself to keep his wits. If sumthin' sound too good to be true, it ain't.

Back in Tennessee we got a similar colloquialism- If something seems too good to be true, fuck it hard and fast before the ruse is up. Son, same goes with trolls.

At 1/26/10 04:31 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Ach, just waiting for you to get me out of there.

I'm ready to go pro. And I'm sure you're a huge fan of my work.

Actively recruited. Ready to step up to the big leagues.

At 1/26/10 04:32 PM, data662 wrote: Guess hunting trolls might be easy.

'Round here, should be a goddamn turkey shoot.

Haha, great idea.

Count me in.

lololol dis is lyke dat wun movee drected by quent taratine or sum gai shit lyke that.

At 1/26/10 04:46 PM, GiantDouche wrote: lololol dis is lyke dat wun movee drected by quent taratine or sum gai shit lyke that.

I can't under stand you. He is using pictures from Inglorious Bastards.

At 1/26/10 04:48 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote: omg ur so fuckin cool you can quote shity movies

FOUND ONE.

Check yo pm box.

aye aye Cap'n ill get them troll scalps right to ya

I think it's your best work yet, sir.

Kill it kill it Kill it KIll it!!!!!!

why stop with the scalp?!

At 1/26/10 04:51 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote: jamoke is shit

Sir, I just found me some cannon fodder.

ill see what i can do for you sarge jamoke

At 1/26/10 04:56 PM, Tobi wrote:

At 1/26/10 04:51 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote: jamoke is shit

Sir, I just found me some cannon fodder.

bwwhahahaha your such a tool!!

At 1/26/10 04:57 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote:

At 1/26/10 04:56 PM, Tobi wrote:

At 1/26/10 04:51 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote: jamoke is shit

Sir, I just found me some cannon fodder.

bwwhahahaha your such a tool!!

Bwahahaha, you don't own Newgrounds!!

Got another one. Sent it.

At 1/26/10 04:57 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote:

At 1/26/10 04:56 PM, Tobi wrote:

At 1/26/10 04:51 PM, BigBadCrebz wrote: jamoke is shit

Sir, I just found me some cannon fodder.

bwwhahahaha your such a tool!!

+1 scalp. gumOnshoe, I re-dub the "the Fox Jew." What you lack in physical stature you more than make up for in stealth, speed and cunning. Grazie.

Do spammers count as trolls? And what do we get when we reach 100?

At 1/26/10 05:06 PM, bifgis wrote: And what do we get when we reach 100?

You pay your debt to good ol' Jamoke the Apache. His lulz have gone unpayed for too long.

At 1/26/10 05:06 PM, bifgis wrote: Do spammers count as trolls? And what do we get when we reach 100?

If you're shown the prize now, then your work as a troll scalper would no longer be honest, but rather for the sole purpose of obtaining the prize

At 1/26/10 05:08 PM, Tobi wrote: good ol' Jamoke the Apache.

Feller, I like the cut of your jib. That just rolls off the tongue with flair.

Putting out an all points bulletin for a very special scalp I want captured.

Keep a sharp eye out for any thread that resembles the following:
- discussing Northern California and its weather or ratio of caucasians to minorities
- polling the userbase as to their ethnicity, especially if the op mentions he is half-Chinese
- boasting about being wealthy and/or moving to a major west coast city such as Beverly Hills
- asking advice on buying used cars
- claiming a recently deceased friend/relative was in a major accident or was killed by police
- a description of mediocre high school minutia, with emphasis on mediocrity
- asking how to make flash with MS Paint

The op will always be a Neutral lvl 1 or 2 account that was made that day or very recently. The name on the account will usually be some odd phrase or (Adjective)(Noun) style.

This is big fish, points this round are doubled. Grab your bats and Buck knives.