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Writing Forum Lounge

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-21 00:35:03


Hi everyone! I'm Riella! Or Tarra, depending on what kind of a day I'm having. But today I'm Riella.
This is my first post on the BBS, so...
I was wondering if anyone was interested in reading the prologue to my story.
The prologue to "Frozen Fire"
Tell me what you think!


Homestuck? I think yyou mean the end of myy social life.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-21 02:07:08


At 7/21/12 12:35 AM, revengeofthefallen wrote: Hi everyone! I'm Riella! Or Tarra, depending on what kind of a day I'm having. But today I'm Riella.
This is my first post on the BBS, so...
I was wondering if anyone was interested in reading the prologue to my story.
The prologue to "Frozen Fire"
Tell me what you think!

Relationship between Dylan and the protagonist needs to be developed more. I don't feel anything for them, I don't have a clue why she's supposed to be so sad or why he's supposed to be such a bastard because I know very little about them.

Unless you're planning on expanding it further in the future.


When I got outside, the purple fog was spreading. I covered my nose and mouth, and ran home.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-21 14:59:47


At 7/21/12 02:07 AM, tinytim12 wrote:
At 7/21/12 12:35 AM, revengeofthefallen wrote: Hi everyone! I'm Riella! Or Tarra, depending on what kind of a day I'm having. But today I'm Riella.
This is my first post on the BBS, so...
I was wondering if anyone was interested in reading the prologue to my story.
The prologue to "Frozen Fire"
Tell me what you think!
Relationship between Dylan and the protagonist needs to be developed more. I don't feel anything for them, I don't have a clue why she's supposed to be so sad or why he's supposed to be such a bastard because I know very little about them.

Unless you're planning on expanding it further in the future.

Actually, I am planning on expanding it. Dylan will be reintroduced into the storyline later. I plan on writing it like Flipped where both main characters tell their version of events in turn.
But you just reminded me that I forgot to put her name into the prologue. Thanks!


Homestuck? I think yyou mean the end of myy social life.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-21 20:49:21


At 7/21/12 12:35 AM, revengeofthefallen wrote: Hi everyone! I'm Riella! Or Tarra, depending on what kind of a day I'm having. But today I'm Riella.
This is my first post on the BBS, so...
I was wondering if anyone was interested in reading the prologue to my story.
The prologue to "Frozen Fire"
Tell me what you think!

I hope this isn't the very beginning of the story. I feel like the main character is rushing through things that could use some more explaining. Instead of giving us the backstory in a rush at the beginning, you should find a way to work it into the story better.

You go pretty in depth into what the ice-lady's wearing. You probably don't need to.

Could be a cool story when you've fleshed out the plot and characters more.

Also one sentence I found doesn't make sense: "The winter chill was striking the air" I think it went.


Grungy Mech action in 1940s Russia! Read Iron and Ice!

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-22 21:48:53


With a sword, you can carve into anything you like. With a pen, you can only carve into paper once you have carved into yourself.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-22 22:01:25


At 7/22/12 09:48 PM, EKublai wrote: With a sword, you can carve into anything you like. With a pen, you can only carve into paper once you have carved into yourself.

With bombs you can blow up nations. With words you can blow up minds.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-22 22:19:59


At 7/22/12 09:48 PM, EKublai wrote: With a sword, you can carve into anything you like. With a pen, you can only carve into paper once you have carved into yourself.

A gun will give you the power of destruction for a moment. A pen will give you the power of creation forever. (Or until its ink runs out)


Grungy Mech action in 1940s Russia! Read Iron and Ice!

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-22 22:39:45


I haven't posted in a while, and I was wondering: Are we allowed to post WIPs in the Writing Forum?

I have a story that has been half-finished for a few months, and I'm going to have 2 weeks of free time coming up in which I'm hoping to try and finish it.

Is it possible to post a work in progress in this forum? I'm just looking for some feedback (e.g. should I bother finishing it? Or just scrap it? Do certain parts need more work than others? etc.)

Question two: Any competitions going on?


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-22 23:32:58


At 7/22/12 10:39 PM, RapeMuffin wrote: I haven't posted in a while, and I was wondering: Are we allowed to post WIPs in the Writing Forum?

Most everything that's posted in this forum is a WIP.


Grungy Mech action in 1940s Russia! Read Iron and Ice!

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-23 07:43:17


At 7/22/12 11:32 PM, starwarsjunkie wrote:
At 7/22/12 10:39 PM, RapeMuffin wrote: I haven't posted in a while, and I was wondering: Are we allowed to post WIPs in the Writing Forum?
Everything that's posted in this forum is a WIP.

Fix'd.

RapeMuffin, if you're going to post a WIP, make sure you identify your objective. Meaning, what are you looking for help with, what do you think are your weak points, which characters you think are weak, etc. You can also post in the thread in my signature to request a review (which only requires you to review someone esle's work before hand :P).

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-07-23 12:52:31


At 7/23/12 07:43 AM, Deathcon7 wrote: RapeMuffin, if you're going to post a WIP...

Alright - cool, thank you.

I may take you up on that offer.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-07 16:00:24


Interview with Tom Fulp

Wanna ask the creator of Newgrounds, Tom Fulp a question? Well you can! The Interviewer is putting the power in your hands to ask the questions. Just click above!

Also yes, Tom Fulp has given permission to do this thread.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-07 20:09:36


At 9/7/12 04:00 PM, The-Great-One wrote: Interview with Tom Fulp

Wanna ask the creator of Newgrounds, Tom Fulp a question? Well you can! The Interviewer is putting the power in your hands to ask the questions. Just click above!

Posted.

Also, most of the people who posted have the cogency of a 12 year-old girl on Facebook (a point I tried to make) and most of the questions are hopelessly inane; so, at least one (if not all) of my questions should make it through. I highly urge everyone here to post a well thought-out question, since the average level of intelligence here is at least 2 standard deviations above General's. I can't imagine anyone's question being rejected.

P.S. Sorry for that statistic joke -__-


Giving out writing reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-10 01:26:14


With a fork, you can eat a salad; with a phone you can call your friends.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-10 10:37:34


At 9/7/12 08:09 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote:

P.S. Sorry for that statistic joke -__-

haha, that's fine, but does that make us the 95%?


"there is no true end to any fairy-tale"~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-10 16:11:54


At 9/10/12 10:37 AM, Sharu wrote:
At 9/7/12 08:09 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote:

P.S. Sorry for that statistic joke -__-
haha, that's fine, but does that make us the 95%?

Yes, ±5%.

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-10 20:53:00


At 9/10/12 04:11 PM, Deathcon7 wrote:
At 9/10/12 10:37 AM, Sharu wrote:
At 9/7/12 08:09 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote:

P.S. Sorry for that statistic joke -__-
haha, that's fine, but does that make us the 95%?
Yes, Ã'±5%.

Well, (assuming normal distribution) 95% of the population lies within 2 standard deviations. That means 5% of the populations lie outside of it; 2.5% lie 2 standard deviations below, and 2.5% lie 2 standard deviations above. So, we are the 2.5%.

Of course, we are the 2.5% above.

Yee-haw!


Giving out writing reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-11 20:33:37


At 9/11/12 06:43 PM, Gambit wrote:
At 9/10/12 08:53 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote: Of course, we are the 2.5% above.

Yee-haw!
This has me hoping the Lit portal never ever comes out.

Don't be selfish.


Giving out writing reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-11 23:21:09


Wow. I was going through my sentbox, when I found this: my reviews for the MWC for April. The results have been announced, and I don't know when the next NG one is. Hopefully, we can come together for a Writing Forum one soon.

MWC 11 Mar/April
TOP 10
1. Fim
2. Jessprw
3. OneChance92
4. WritersBlock
5. Jucama
6. TyredSoul
7. munio
8. lemonator
9. pipboy131
10. Firestormrules

Ratings:
1. "My Junkyard Heaven" by Zippy-MyMusic

Rating: *½

2. "Untitled" by Phobotech

Rating: *½

3. "Genesis" by Flyingdingo

Rating: *½

4. "Elemental" by MisterRPG

Rating: **

5. "Tick the Tock" by Pipboy 131

Rating: ***½

6. "Not my fault" by "oOwunderbraOo"

Rating: **

7. "Angels with Cardboard Wings" by TyredSoul

Rating: ***½

8. "DIE HAPPY" by Jucama

Rating: ***½

9. "Year Zero" by WritersBlock

Rating: ***½

10. "Immortal" by Deadmite

Rating: **½

11. "Rain or shine, we're out in the field" by Fim

Rating: ****

12. "A Reason for Everything" by BrianEtrius

Rating: ***

13. "Roe's Wild" by Jessprw

Rating: ****

14. "A Cat in a Tree" by Lemonator

Rating: ***½

15. "Diary Excerpts" by DasSG

Rating: ***

16. "Untitled" by munio
Rating: ***½

17. "On the Grandiose Beat" by OneChance92

Rating: ****

18. "Descent" by Firestormrules

Rating: ***

As you can see, there were three four-star entries, and six three-and-a-half-star entries. I went back and read these stories; the first half were so-so and of the expected quality; the second half were dense, with strong langauge, and of superb quality. This has me pumped and excited because I have seen the result of potential; I have read the stories I know we can write. Wow.


Giving out writing reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-11 23:22:12


At 9/11/12 11:21 PM, DeftAndEvil wrote: The results have *NOT been announced

Whoops! Hehe :X


Giving out writing reviews to anyone who wants them (exception: poems. I'll find you).

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-09-26 06:15:15


Hi awesome writer people.. If any of you are interested then I would like some ideas for a short comic - just follow the link and read the description on the second to last image :)

link

I am just looking for some funny little inputs. Nothing big. So have a look..


World Famous Kasper Lundsfryd Illustrations

nilfisk

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-13 08:35:05


Here's the latest chapter of my Newgrounds / Castle Crashers fanfic, Blammer

Enjoy


Will it ever end. Yes, all human endeavour is pointless ~ Bill Bailey

News

#StoryShift Author

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-14 21:29:51


At 10/14/12 07:46 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Officially finished my first novel. Now it's in the hands of a pro reader / corrector / reviser. Can't wait for that to be done, so I can get it published, at last....

Congrats! Good luck with getting it published!


Grungy Mech action in 1940s Russia! Read Iron and Ice!

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-17 13:34:00


Sixteen days ago, I hit 9 years on this site. Wow...

Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-17 18:35:53


At 10/14/12 07:46 PM, FBIpolux wrote: Officially finished my first novel. Now it's in the hands of a pro reader / corrector / reviser. Can't wait for that to be done, so I can get it published, at last....

Nice. Lets hope that you don't rest on your laurels and that you continue to improve.

Is it in French or English?


Will it ever end. Yes, all human endeavour is pointless ~ Bill Bailey

News

#StoryShift Author

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-17 22:41:53


I just started (well, a couple months ago) a writing in college and it's my first time actually writing stories as opposed to making comic strips out of them. I already wrote a shitty poem and received praise for it, so I'll share that in the thread I make. I'm also working on a short story due in a week, so I'll be asking for some feedback on that.

Well, I really like reading and I much prefer it to watching mind-numbing crap on the telly. No influence, though. I've always avoided writing because my creative language - both verbal and written - is balls. That's why I'm taking Creative Writing. Get dem juices flowing.


This is my signature. It is a nice signature.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-17 22:52:02


At 10/17/12 10:41 PM, jjjkuk wrote: I already wrote a shitty poem and received praise for it, so I'll share that in the thread I make.

Oh, whatever, here it is

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jLgmE_pLNXjmVSdcPMA3Iaa2 vWmiRWPiie-aG1RKlUc/edit


This is my signature. It is a nice signature.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-17 22:53:15


At 10/17/12 10:52 PM, jjjkuk wrote:
At 10/17/12 10:41 PM, jjjkuk wrote: I already wrote a shitty poem and received praise for it, so I'll share that in the thread I make.
Oh, whatever, here it is

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jLgmE_pLNXjmVSdcPMA3Iaa2 vWmiRWPiie-aG1RKlUc/edit

Dammit, I forgot to mention it's in iambic pentametre. I don't like it and it's really half-assed.

don't ban me, coop

This is my signature. It is a nice signature.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-10-22 05:06:55


At 10/21/12 07:31 PM, FBIpolux wrote:
At 10/17/12 06:35 PM, Coop wrote: Is it in French or English?
It's in French, sadly. It's my first language, and my best language. I'd be wasting my time and everyone else's if I attempted to publish a novel in English. On the good side, I am planning to get it translated!

Let's hope that the translators are better than Google Translate ;)


Will it ever end. Yes, all human endeavour is pointless ~ Bill Bailey

News

#StoryShift Author

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2012-12-04 10:56:37


I leave this here because it's not worth a thread but I feel it should be said.

On Losing Faith

Next October will mark the 10th year anniversary of my being on this website. What initially began as a taste for the free adult content (particularly games like Frank's Adventure), grew into an obsession with creating my own Flash games. I wouldn't say I was a good programmer. In fact, thanks to many humbling voices, I know for sure I was never very good. But I committed to the Flash forum anyway and started "making" my own games. Unfortunately that never led anywhere. I spent the majority of my time posturing, discussing making games, but never actually made anything. In large part I owe my eventual shift of focus to the nagging of GusttheASGuy. At every turn he would undermine my posts with sharp and abrasive commentary and, I bitterly admit, he was always right. It was annoying, but I'm thankful to him because he helped me make the decision to move away from programming. I realized I wasn't giving it 100% and that I really didn't want to.

So I went from a wannabe programmer to writer. I started consuming large quantities of self help books, writing and dreaming and doing any other activities conducive to my creative inner eye. When the writing forum was opened my first reaction was excitement. And despite the ups and downs I've stuck with it as best I could because I wanted it to succeed. I spent so much time on Newgrounds, and I wanted to see this work. But it was for two selfish reasons: I wanted to have something I could do I was good at, and I wanted to finally build a name for myself.

After some introspection I now realize I've come full circle. Once again I'm spending an inordinate amount of time discussing something, trying to help other people do it, instead of doing that something myself. And thankfully I once again have a "GusttheASGuy" to keep me level. As frustrated as I can get with how abrasive mhzinski can be, I am thankful for the role he has decided to play around here. He has helped me realize no matter how hard I try, it's wasted effort.

I tried to start up the Write-Up in the hopes of doing something that would get me better involved but over the past few days I've gone from enthusiastic to indifferent. Maybe my expectations were too high, or maybe they were as high as they should be all things considered. I posted in General and the response was dismissive. In fact, the only real response was a dick pic. You can't really expect much else from General but, I mean, c'mon... this is the pool of people we pull from. Frankly speaking they're children. Frankly speaking the large majority of people here are children. At first I thought I was okay with that but I'm not. The saving grace has always been the regulars but even they have grown distant.

So that's my back-story. It has led me to this point. I've lost faith in this place. There's nothing here for me. There hasn't been for a very long time but I've stubbornly clung to Newgrounds. Out of boredom or some misplaced sense of loyalty, I don't know. My tumultuous past with this site should have been indication enough but I think it's time I make a break for it.

There are a few reasons why I'm posting this. Obviously for attention. Who doesn't like that? But also because, if I'm not mistaken, this isn't the first tantrum I've thrown. I want to make it clear this is how I feel because there will undoubtedly be loose ends. I want to encourage those loose ends to contact me. My info is in my profile. The same goes for anyone who just wants to keep in touch. And that's about it.

Good luck.