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FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 07:59:24 Reply

Well, time to go back to short stories.

Subject of dee day: P.E. (Physical Education)*

Conrad panted heavily. His P.E. teacher treated the class like slaves. They did countless jogs, did a few hundred push-ups, thousands of sit-ups and a few long jumps. But not in a day...NO. This was spread into a total of 3 days a week. They had a 5 seconds break during P.E. of course.

It was only the second day and Conrad still had not recovered from his first and his hips were aching. Sweat came down like rain. He couldn't even move his jaws. His arms were limped and his legs trudged wearily on the floor. Looking upon the stairs ahead, he groaned. It was only 1 flight of stairs but the first step up felt like hell. And thus the 'journey' began.

He wanted to get this over and done with. So he hurriedly pulled himself up, legs knocking at the hind. Gasping for air, his arms wavered like jelly. Getting to the top, he almost flopped onto the floor. His heart was beating rapidly and black dots dancing between his eyes. Rubbing them, he tried crawling to the classroom but ended up scraping his knees. Breathing real quickly, he lay sprawled on the floor and slowly shut his eyes, never opening them again.

It was then found out that the P.E. teacher supported the Nazis a lot. And he was a mental jail-warden.

*This is BASED on a true story (moi)....ok, not EVERYTHING is good-to-honest...


Don't you DARE click my sig....

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Version2
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 12:53:58 Reply

And thus Conrad's fat ass was doomed to sit in a hover-round, surfing Walmarts for all eternity. Couldn't even take a day of exercise? Damn, that foo is WEAK, son!

RWT
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 13:03:45 Reply

Flash Cam, your story was alright. Some work was put into it, I can tell.

But that's not a short story. A short story would be 1000, 2000 words at a bare minimum. What you have there could be labeled a blurb or an "extremely short" story. A good story should take more than one sitting to write. A good story should of course last as long as it takes to tell the story, but there's an accepted minimum before it just becomes bad.

So think of a story that could fill a few pages in a text document, and keep knocking away at it until you have even a short story. What I like to do in Word is bump the text up to size 18, so it's the same size as in a book. What was five pages is now the length of a chapter in Mutiny on the Bounty. :-P

-~RWT~-


If you don't like my poetry, scroll down the page a bit. It gets better.

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sinfulwolf
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 18:08:05 Reply

At 2/5/10 01:03 PM, RWT wrote:
But that's not a short story. A short story would be 1000, 2000 words at a bare minimum.
-~RWT~-

In regards to this I was searching around awhile ago to see how long something had to be to count as a novel and...
Short Story: 1,000 - 15,000
Novelette: 15,000 - 25,000
Novella: 25,000 - 50,000
Novel (short) 50,000 -70,000
Novel (long) 70,000 - 100,000
Novel (epic) 100,000 - 120,000
Novel (saga) over 120,000

Now, I can't remember, I only copy/pasted that data for personal reference. Hope it helps in a way.

Also, RWT, not all books have font size 18. Some have some pretty small font sizes, for example "A Game of Thrones".

WilhelmTheVampire
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 18:23:29 Reply

Wow, this place is amazing! THis is probably the only place where I can feel free to express myself and people will actually tak it seriously. I wish I had found this forum sooner!

At 2/5/10 01:03 PM, RWT wrote: Flash Cam, your story was alright. Some work was put into it, I can tell.

But that's not a short story. A short story would be 1000, 2000 words at a bare minimum. What you have there could be labeled a blurb or an "extremely short" story.

I don't really define a short story by length, despite the term "short story". I just think about it in terms of content. A short story, to me, would be composed of basically only sentences that push the story forward, whether through moving the plot forward or through character or situation development. So the story's length is based solely on plot, without unnecessary details (but daaaamn I love those).

A good story should take more than one sitting to write. A good story should of course last as long as it takes to tell the story, but there's an accepted minimum before it just becomes bad.

Very true, story's are always evolving. They never start perfectly on the first draft. They must be given time to enhance whatever it may be that must be enhanced. We're not young children here, we write like we mean it.


Request an audio review. I could use some motivation.

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InsertFunnyUserName
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 19:03:33 Reply

At 2/5/10 06:08 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: Also, RWT, not all books have font size 18. Some have some pretty small font sizes, for example "A Game of Thrones".

"House of Spirits" by Isabel Allende has tiny font. It made 11pm reading difficult. :I

Anyways, I was surprised to see how short many people here were making their chapters. Now, that's not inherently a bad thing (though it often goes hand-in-hand with people not putting in enough detail) when you take into consideration authors like Dan Brown whose chapters are sometimes only 600 words long. But it's just an observation that I made about writing style. People have each individual scene in separate chapters instead of putting a number of related scenes in the same chapter. I mean, I figured that my chapters at an average of 3500 to 4000 words ran on the short side, lol.


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whoa art what

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Deathcon7
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 19:14:14 Reply

At 2/5/10 06:08 PM, sinfulwolf wrote: Short Story: 1,000 - 15,000
Novelette: 15,000 - 25,000
Novella: 25,000 - 50,000
Novel (short) 50,000 -70,000
Novel (long) 70,000 - 100,000
Novel (epic) 100,000 - 120,000
Novel (saga) over 120,000

Under 300 words would be flash fiction. You can find 3 examples of such in my sig :)

InsertFunnyUserName
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 19:35:17 Reply

At 2/5/10 07:14 PM, Deathcon7 wrote: Under 300 words would be flash fiction. You can find 3 examples of such in my sig :)

Flash fiction can be really fun. I read a cool little story on here a little while ago describing some sort of ritual thing. Although it had some problems with not being specific enough, it was a good example of how, if he made a few minor word choice changes to clarify his writing, an author can create a powerful and vivid story in only a couple hundred words. I think the key to it (and I'm not talking about your writing because you seem to do a good job with this) is to not try and cram too much into a small space. The story I mentioned was a good example of this as the author only described one small scene. It was small, but powerful.


[quote]

whoa art what

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Version2
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 19:53:49 Reply

Anyone know of any free word editors? All I have on this laptop are notepad and wordpad. Neither one gives a word count, lol.

TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 19:56:55 Reply

At 2/5/10 07:53 PM, Version2 wrote: Anyone know of any free word editors? All I have on this laptop are notepad and wordpad. Neither one gives a word count, lol.

Go get a trial for Word 2007?


Failure should push you until success can pull you.

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TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 20:00:23 Reply

Nevermind, now I remember....

http://www.openoffice.org/


Failure should push you until success can pull you.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 20:12:37 Reply

Thanks man :)

Kydus
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 20:20:58 Reply

Hello, fellow writers! Since I just posted my flagship story, I figured I'd introduce myself here. I've been writing actively since about the third grade (am in college now), and it is one of my favorite pastimes. Depending on the feedback I get from my first post, I might share some more of my stuff on here in the future. I Look forward to talking with you all!

FlashCam
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:33:04 Reply

Well....Time for my next one...

Subject of da day: Farts*

Dan gave out a large, gaseous fart. Grinning, he watched the people choke. Sauntering to the exit, he covered his mouth slowly as the gas reached his nostrils. He had a knack for powerful farts and he had even made a little graph to compare with.

He glanced below the 3rd mark. His fart was not certainly 1, the oldies fart, nor 2, the common fart. The third mark was usually a pretty strong fart he usually did but for this, he slashed a mark using his pencil at the 4th mark. It was his 5th 4 Grade so far.

At school, Dan was nicknamed quickly 'Gastronaut' once he gave out a 3 1/2 Grade. He slowly looked down at the last and final mark, Grade 5. He only did one so far after he finished baked beans, broccoli and a lot of chips. That kind of fart was like a fully-charged Wario fart, an atomic bomb.

Dan looked up after hearing someone yelling his name. It was his good ole friend Marc. Smiling, Dan knew he had to do his business again. Taking out a glass jar, he farted a 3 Grade in it and hastily closed it. He ran a little business of giving farts-in-a-jar, great for ruining siblings slumber parties. Passing the jar to Marc, he collected the money and walked off, wondering if he should start a company.

*I based it on a story I read so some of the crdit goes to it if you like this story soooooo much...


Don't you DARE click my sig....

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TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:35:01 Reply

I propose that all trolls receive a ban for posting a topic like this: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1143 315


Failure should push you until success can pull you.

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InsertFunnyUserName
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:45:42 Reply

At 2/5/10 09:35 PM, TrevorW wrote: I propose that all trolls receive a ban for posting a topic like this: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1143 315

I second this motion.


[quote]

whoa art what

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RWT
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:51:04 Reply

At 2/5/10 09:45 PM, InsertFunnyUserName wrote:
At 2/5/10 09:35 PM, TrevorW wrote: I propose that all trolls receive a ban for posting a topic like this: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1143 315
I second this motion.

I suddenly don't feel so bad for yelling at him.

-~RWT~-


If you don't like my poetry, scroll down the page a bit. It gets better.

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WilhelmTheVampire
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:56:02 Reply

At 2/5/10 09:35 PM, TrevorW wrote: I propose that all trolls receive a ban for posting a topic like this: http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1143 315

Agreed. I believe this is a place for people actually serious about writing. If you want to spend five minutes thinking of something, post it in the general forums where it belongs, or better yet don't post it at all. Nobody wants a trollfish swimming against our current.


Request an audio review. I could use some motivation.

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TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 21:59:12 Reply

I admit that I can be a jerk at times. The difference? I realize it and try not to do it again. Everyone trolls a little.


Failure should push you until success can pull you.

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 22:13:07 Reply

I saw zbox post in the hiaku thread. I so badly wanted to post this:

go fuck off z-box
you are an annoying troll
see ya, bye, piss off.

But I'm not going to start drama in otto's topic, Otto's good people.

TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 22:15:30 Reply

Could someone please comment on this poem...it's in my topic but no one has.
I really went out of my box here and I think it turned out well. What do you all think?

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 22:18:53 Reply

It's interesting, I don't think I've seen poetry like that before. The way it's structured is awesome, it's like you're trying to sneak words in, instead of placing them directly, I like it.

TrevorW
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 22:20:42 Reply

At 2/5/10 10:18 PM, Version2 wrote: It's interesting, I don't think I've seen poetry like that before. The way it's structured is awesome, it's like you're trying to sneak words in, instead of placing them directly, I like it.

Glad to see that the flow and "sneaking" worked! I sorta-kinda stole this style from e e Cummings, but I used my own twist (I think).


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HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 23:24:51 Reply

I was thinking about writing up a thread to help those who want to pursue writing in their careers. It's about advertising( as that is one of the many jobs that involve writing). It would include writing a skit to advertise a given product that I've yet to decide upon. I think I might turn it into a small contest but first I would like to know if such a thread would be worth my writing in the first place.

It would need to be in a play fashion, as in:

You: words
Me: more words
[setting/ important movement by the characters/anything else that's not dialogue]

Like that, and it would need to be able to persuade the audience, as best it can, to buy a product I would choose for them to advertise to see how well they can do at advertising.

I think it would help those who want to do this as a career to get some critiques and over all practice on such things. I think it might be fun but I also think barely anyone would participate if I took the time and effort to do this. So would you?


Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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Nateofwar
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-05 23:50:09 Reply

At 2/5/10 11:24 PM, HollowedPumkinz wrote: I was thinking about writing up a thread to help those who want to pursue writing in their careers. It's about advertising( as that is one of the many jobs that involve writing). It would include writing a skit to advertise a given product that I've yet to decide upon. I think I might turn it into a small contest but first I would like to know if such a thread would be worth my writing in the first place.

It would need to be in a play fashion, as in:

You: words
Me: more words
[setting/ important movement by the characters/anything else that's not dialogue]

Like that, and it would need to be able to persuade the audience, as best it can, to buy a product I would choose for them to advertise to see how well they can do at advertising.

I think it would help those who want to do this as a career to get some critiques and over all practice on such things. I think it might be fun but I also think barely anyone would participate if I took the time and effort to do this. So would you?

I would take part in this but prolly only if you chose somthing realy good to advertise. If you chose somthing unorthadox it would be more apealing. Also you might have a problem with people posting stupid comercials.

stupid scripts are bad but not all bad scripts are stupid

Nateofwar owns your mother

masterkl16
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-06 12:24:45 Reply

At 2/5/10 09:56 PM, WilhelmTheVampire wrote: Nobody wants a trollfish swimming against our current.

You are officially cool in my book.


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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-06 13:24:36 Reply

As much as it's not my job to push rules in anyone's face, I think we can leave out discussion of trolling and so on, because it falls into the rules anyway. As usual, I'd say just contact a mod who regulars here if there's blatant flame bait flying around.

Perhaps for the benefit of those less 'serious' about writing, we should flag up (you know, in the non-existant sticky!) that reviewers and writers are expected to respect each other. This forum doesn't need any Vincent Gallo wannabes.

Okay, in all fairness, that episode was mildly amusing.

***

Trevor, your poem was quite interesting. I definitely picked up the e.e. cummings influence in there, and I think you made it work for yourself. I'm trying not to review so many poems right now, so I'm a bit rusty on what exactly I can pick out and offer some critique on, but I think you organised it well as far as what you were going for with the style. Word choice was suitable for it and you kept the rhythm.

Perhaps you could expand it beyond the beginning, and possibly tell a story with the style while maintaining the message you've got. I don't know, I'm aware that overmilking the style is dangerous.

HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-06 14:57:18 Reply

Ah, congrats Scarab! You just got the 1/2 k post in the Writers forum lounge! What do you plan to do next?

But in serious news, I am still wondering whether I should go with making the whole advertisement thread. Nateofwar, I was thinking that too. I would like to find something wacky to advertise to make it fun.


Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-06 15:30:23 Reply

pfft, he can have the 500th post, I got the 420th :P

HollowedPumkinz
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Response to Writing Forum Lounge 2010-02-06 15:46:34 Reply

At 2/6/10 03:30 PM, Version2 wrote: pfft, he can have the 500th post, I got the 420th :P

Oh, REALLY??? That's interesting because the reply count here says differently.

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Even as I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death, I shall fear no Evil. Semper Fidelis

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