At 12/8/09 02:49 PM, dalmo wrote: How do I get an Asian girl to date me?

I'm white.

If you know both yourself and your enemy, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.

Meaning learn about them without being flashy about it. That'll help get you in.

Unless you're just talking about North American girls of Asian descent, in which case proceed as usual.

How do I make the extra charge of 1200 euros on gas and water usage, due to excessive showering, disappear?

Or should I grow a beard and a moustache and flee the country as quickly as possible, before my parents kill me?

At 12/9/09 03:10 PM, gamekillereater wrote: How do I make the extra charge of 1200 euros on gas and water usage, due to excessive showering, disappear?

By getting a job and paying it back.

Incidentally, how the hell did you rack up 1200 euro just from showering?

At 12/9/09 05:17 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 12/9/09 03:10 PM, gamekillereater wrote: How do I make the extra charge of 1200 euros on gas and water usage, due to excessive showering, disappear?

By getting a job and paying it back.

Incidentally, how the hell did you rack up 1200 euro just from showering?

I am a student, and besides the massive amount of homework, I haven't been called for a job recently (I work for one of those companies that sends out people to businesses, I don't know the name).

Well, shower for more than a half an hour over the course of a year and they'll charge you more at the end of a year, as a correction. I've wasted about 4000 cubicle meters of gas.

So Elfer, got a girl problem, but not the typical one.

So there's this girl I've been good friends with for a long time. Then one night at a part we both got drunk and hooked up. The day after that, we talked about what happened and she told me she liked me, but she also liked a good friend of mine, and said she wanted to take time to decide. So after that time she picked my friend and they started going out. In that time we grew apart and she didn't even seem to notice until i said something to her about it, which made me think "Wow, she must really not care about our friendship."

Anyway, we started talking again for a little bit, and now we've pretty much stopped talking again. Except this time, it's her who wants to be friends again, and I want nothing to do with her anymore. She stopped caring about our friendship before and now suddenly she does? I don't know. But anyway, what I need help doing is telling her easily how I don't really want to be friends anymore. I've tried just not talking to her, but that hasn't worked. So any advice on how to let her down easy would be nice.

Also, I don't really want any advice telling me how I should still be her friend, cause I know that won't work out. I've tried that route too.

At 12/9/09 05:51 PM, gamekillereater wrote: Well, shower for more than a half an hour over the course of a year and they'll charge you more at the end of a year, as a correction. I've wasted about 4000 cubicle meters of gas.

That's still a bafflingly large amount.

Also, the type of company you work for is a "temp agency"

At 12/9/09 06:00 PM, Ship wrote: So Elfer, got a girl problem, but not the typical one.

Dude are you fucking serious. You're not dating this girl. You don't NEED to break up with her.

My advice isn't "put in a bunch of effort to be friends with her," but it's similar. I'd say suck it up and let go of the fact that she didn't start dating you, and ignored you for a while (which incidentally, happens a LOT when someone starts a new relationship, especially when you're a friend that she hooked up with). Either that, or just tell her something like "I still feel weird about what happened, and wouldn't be comfortable hanging out."

Or you could do the easy thing and just not make any plans with her and slowly drift apart entirely. Honestly, this isn't really a "girl problem," it's a friend problem that happens to involve a girl. Since you seem to be claiming to take offense at her lack of regard for your friendship, let me ask you this: If one of your guy friends got a girlfriend and saw you a lot less for a while, then wanted to start hanging out more later on, would you hold a grudge against him?

If not, then it's obviously not the friendship thing you're pissed about.

At 12/9/09 08:13 PM, Elfer wrote: Dude are you fucking serious. You're not dating this girl. You don't NEED to break up with her.

That's true, it probably isn't a "girl problem" but a problem nonetheless. It's not so much the fact that she ignored our friendship that bugs me with her now, it's just that she annoys me and has completely changed her personality. Or at least that's what I tell myself. I know I'm over us hooking up and all that, so that isn't the problem. I just don't wanna be around her. I don't know.

At 12/9/09 10:11 PM, Ship wrote: it's just that she annoys me and has completely changed her personality.

If this is actually true, then the answer is just don't hang out very often. If you do spend some time with her and it's not enjoyable, she'll be less prone to want to do stuff with you in the future.

Like I said, that's one advantage of only being friends with a person: If you don't like them any more, you can just drift apart the way people do without having to make a big fuss about it. Since you're trying to figure out how to pro-actively break off the friendship though, I'm guessing you're not totally over what happened, even if you tell yourself you are.

My recommendation on this subject is to accept one of her invitations to do something as a test case. Go see her without any expectations of anything, and don't bring up any old shit. Just fuckin' chill, and be the way you would around any other friend. If you just relax about the whole thing and don't get worked up over it, the situation will either reverse itself and you'll find you CAN be friends (note that this isn't "trying to be friends," it's actually "not trying to be friends," as with all other normal friendships), or you will come to a mutual but probably unspoken realization that you just don't enjoy spending time together any more.

Again, this isn't a problem. You're being too aggressive about it and making it into a problem for yourself. As Bruce Lee said, "Be water, my friend."

yo elf why cant I find your sigs on the web anymore?

At 12/9/09 10:24 PM, cheesebizkit wrote: yo elf why cant I find your sigs on the web anymore?

Because it's hard to find a stable free web host that isn't a huge pain in the ass to use.

Also, I may have lost the folder which had most of the sigs and stuff in it when one of my hard drives crapped out. They're not lost forever, I just have to find the backup CD and export them all again, which is kind of a pain in the ass.

At 12/8/09 05:26 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 12/8/09 02:49 PM, dalmo wrote: How do I get an Asian girl to date me?

I'm white.

If you know both yourself and your enemy, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.

Meaning learn about them without being flashy about it. That'll help get you in.

Unless you're just talking about North American girls of Asian descent, in which case proceed as usual.

I'm talking about that super cute Chinese girl in my class that I text every once in a while but it never really turns into anything because the conversation goes cold or one of us forgets to text back.

Ideas?

At 12/10/09 09:28 AM, dalmo wrote: I'm talking about that super cute Chinese girl in my class that I text every once in a while but it never really turns into anything because the conversation goes cold or one of us forgets to text back.

Ideas?

Okay, so you're just talking about a regular girl then. How about this: try talking to her for realsies instead of just texting. I don't even have a cell phone and I'm doing just fine.

At 12/10/09 09:33 AM, Elfer wrote:

At 12/10/09 09:28 AM, dalmo wrote: I'm talking about that super cute Chinese girl in my class that I text every once in a while but it never really turns into anything because the conversation goes cold or one of us forgets to text back.

Ideas?

Okay, so you're just talking about a regular girl then. How about this: try talking to her for realsies instead of just texting. I don't even have a cell phone and I'm doing just fine.

I don't have a class with her so I don't really have a chance to see her. How should I break it to her that I wanna take her out on a date. You have msn?

At 12/10/09 10:04 AM, dalmo wrote: I don't have a class with her so I don't really have a chance to see her. How should I break it to her that I wanna take her out on a date.

How do you know her at all if you don't have any classes with her? Also, are you sure you want to date her? It sounds more like you just have a raging case of the personal tinglings.

You have msn?

Yeah, but I use it exclusively for people I know in real life. I can sign into Elpher (at) meebo.com though if that's of any use to you.

At 12/10/09 10:45 AM, Elfer wrote:

At 12/10/09 10:04 AM, dalmo wrote: I don't have a class with her so I don't really have a chance to see her. How should I break it to her that I wanna take her out on a date.

How do you know her at all if you don't have any classes with her? Also, are you sure you want to date her? It sounds more like you just have a raging case of the personal tinglings.

Nah I had a few classes with her last semester. And I want to ask her out on a date, not date her. Test the waters see whats she is like in public.

She is super fucking hot.

You have msn?

Yeah, but I use it exclusively for people I know in real life. I can sign into Elpher (at) meebo.com though if that's of any use to you.

Get on AIM?

OKAY PEEPS: OFFICIAL ELFER CHAT IS HERE

ElferFixYoLife(at)live.com

At 12/10/09 01:28 PM, Elfer wrote: OKAY PEEPS: OFFICIAL ELFER CHAT IS HERE

ElferFixYoLife(at)live.com

Cool, get on then, or add me. Insanewait@hotmail.com

At 12/10/09 01:30 PM, dalmo wrote:

At 12/10/09 01:28 PM, Elfer wrote: OKAY PEEPS: OFFICIAL ELFER CHAT IS HERE

ElferFixYoLife(at)live.com

Cool, get on then, or add me. Insanewait@hotmail.com

Man I did. Why you hatin'

At 12/10/09 01:46 PM, Elfer wrote:

At 12/10/09 01:30 PM, dalmo wrote:

At 12/10/09 01:28 PM, Elfer wrote: OKAY PEEPS: OFFICIAL ELFER CHAT IS HERE

ElferFixYoLife(at)live.com

Cool, get on then, or add me. Insanewait@hotmail.com

Man I did. Why you hatin'

Send my bitch ass a message than yo.

At 12/10/09 01:49 PM, dalmo wrote: Send my bitch ass a message than yo.

Evidently you are not online. Try sending ME a message.

ok new question.

How can i get random Asian women to have a threesome with me?

At 12/10/09 02:06 PM, Goldfire64 wrote: ok new question.

How can i get random Asian women to have a threesome with me?

Well, you could practice being a super-stud, or you could just study up on business, work really hard, and make a ton of money.

How can i break into a liposuction clinic?

At 12/11/09 10:13 AM, TylerDurden121 wrote: How can i break into a liposuction clinic?

> GET BLANKET
Blanket was added to your inventory.
> W
You are on the road to the liposuction clinic.
> W
You are on the road to the liposuction clinic.
> W
You are on the road to the liposuction clinic. There is a dog at the side of the road watching you.
> L DOG
It is an ordinary brown dog with a red collar. There is nothing unusual about it.
> GET DOG
The dog refuses to follow you.
> W
You are standing outside the liposuction clinic. A fence topped with barbed wire surrounds the biohazard disposal containers.
> CLIMB FENCE
You try to climb the fence, but your hands and face are scratched by barbed wire.
> USE BLANKET
How do you want to use the blanket?
> USE BALNKET ON FENCE
I don't know what a "BALNKET" is.
> USE BLANKET ON FENCE
You drape the blanket over the top of the fence.
> CLIMB FENCE
You quickly and easily scale the fence. The blanket protects you from the barbed wire.
> L
You are standing inside the waste area at the liposuction clinic. There is a biohazard disposal containers here.
> L CONTAINER
It is a large, rectangular container, much like a dumpster. The lid is not locked.
> OPEN CONTAINER
You lift the lid of the container and flip it back over the edge.
> L CONTAINER
It is a large, rectangular container, much like a dumpster. There are bags upon bags of fat inside!
> GET FAT
I don't see any "FAT" here.
> GET BAGS
That would be stealing!
> STEAL BAGS
I don't know how to do that.
> TAKE BAGS
I don't know how to do that.
> JUST TAKE THE FUCKING BAGS
I don't know how to do that.
> QUIT

C:\FIGHTC~1>

Thanks man, need to make soap to put the food on my table. And to keep on running fight clubs all around america, but now i've broken the first and second rule.

How can I get my parents let me join the wrestling team, despite my poor grades?

How can I kill everyone?

How do I shot web?

At 12/12/09 06:49 PM, puddinN64 wrote: How can I get my parents let me join the wrestling team, despite my poor grades?

By improving your grades. This is a topic about fixing your problems, not about making them magically go away so that everything will be super easy.

At 12/12/09 07:47 PM, FoodnSex wrote: How can I kill everyone?

With enough patience, everyone will die.

At 12/13/09 09:34 AM, Tateos wrote: Oh Elfer, what should I do with my sorry ass?

I don't know, send her an email maybe?

At 12/13/09 09:40 AM, AlkaSeltzer wrote: Dear Elfer,

What is a good Secret Santa/Kris Kringle/Amigo Secreto present to give without looking like a "cop-out," "show-off" or "over-generous"?

And dont say gift voucher, because that is a "cop-out"

Thanks in advance Elfer.

Well, if you consider catch-all gifts to be a cop-out, then there's no suggestion I could give you that wouldn't be a cop-out.

Traditionally, alcohol (something classy like wine or a good bottle of spirits) works, as do expensive/premium food products. They're pretty much universally enjoyed, and people have a low propensity to buy high-end things like this for themselves, so it's likely they don't already have it. They're also transient, so the person will never end up stuck with something they either throw away or hate looking at.

For example, last year I needed a present for my girlfriend's mother, and she's fairly picky about the sort of things she'd want to have around her house (for good reason, her house is really cool). So I went to a local gourmet food shop and got her some of their aged white cheddar (which they only sell at the holidays) and a bag of good coffee.

There's weird conventions to getting the feel of it right though, otherwise it will just seem like a cop-out. Generally, things that are less "prepared" work better (i.e. a box of chocolates is not as good as a bar of imported chocolate), and try to pick something that the person specifically likes. As a rule, all women like chocolate and all men like beer.

At 12/13/09 11:10 AM, ThugAim wrote: How do I shot web?

Read the friggin' thread.

At 12/15/09 07:44 PM, Ryanl337 wrote: Elfer, I have trouble sleeping at night. I don't get to sleep until 1 A.M and I'm very tired in the morning when I get up for school. So I'm tired during school and that's not good. How can I drift off to sleep easier? I put my TV on and put the sleep timer on. I just want to go to sleep easier.

Same thing here. My body's natural inclination is to go to sleep at 3 AM and wake up at 11 AM.

Personally, I find going to bed earlier and reading helps, but TV can make my brain a bit antsy. Taking a shower (not necessarily a real one, just a rinse) makes me feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable.

Personally, when I was having more stressful periods (such as midterms or finals) I'd take a single hit of weed (but please, don't break any laws on my accord) and drink a cup of chamomille tea, which let me settle in and drift off relatively easily. The dose of weed has to be VERY low though, otherwise your mind may start racing. Interestingly, it also made me feel a lot better on nights with really hot weather when I was too uncomfortable to sleep.

Anyway, this guy has a post with a relatively large number of suggestions. I suggest you look at them, I've also used a limited amount of light therapy to help with my problem (mostly just leaving my blinds open so the sunshine wakes me up).