Can you tell me why we haven't found Atlantis, even though most of the world is below sea level?
Salvation will come in the Most desperate hour, and will be brought not by Angels or Gods, but by man.
I started balding at a very young age. It's getting pretty ridiculous. My hairline is receding and the crown of my head is thinning and I'm not even 18 yet. I don't want to shave my head bald, because that will look equally as bad.
I'm not asking for tips to restore my hair. I've already thought about getting a transplant. The problem is I'm insecure as hell about it and it's hard for me to meet new people. Help me Elfer.
I need a hug, but no one wants to hug me!
i am so ronery
I'm sexually attracted to my aunt.
also I need a job Ive applied to some places but I need tips.
At 11/1/09 11:50 AM, Elfer wrote: Hey kids!
Paedophile..
At 11/1/09 11:50 AM, Elfer wrote: Hey kids!
It's me, Elfer. I've been around forever, but a lot of you probably don't know me. That's about to change forever. Or perhaps temporarily, I haven't worked it out yet. For those of you who do know me, you know I only make a thread in General when the forum needs me. When the world is in crisis.
I look around the board today, and I see a lot of threads. Threads from people who are confused, scared, people who don't know what direction their life is headed in, much less what direction it should. I thought about bringing back my old thread, but it didn't seem to fit the bill for the challenges we're facing today.
So what you waitin' for? A better life* is only moments away!
Better life not guaranteed. If you go out there and fudge the bucket, that's on you.
I imagined your entire post of you as either a black car salesman or a white used car salesman.
Either way it sounded in my head like i was being ripped off lol.
i like games. a lot. so much that i want to make them FOREVER.
At 6/6/11 01:00 AM, sidewaysvagina wrote: I started balding at a very young age. It's getting pretty ridiculous. My hairline is receding and the crown of my head is thinning and I'm not even 18 yet. I don't want to shave my head bald, because that will look equally as bad.
I'm not asking for tips to restore my hair. I've already thought about getting a transplant. The problem is I'm insecure as hell about it and it's hard for me to meet new people. Help me Elfer.
Propecia. Start looking http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finasteride
hey elfer can you help me to stop being such a huge dickwad thx
Hell, Mr. Elfer! You know, I have this uge problem and I can't think of a good solution, so I consult you, the epitome of wisdom. Long story short, multiple users requested that I interview a moderator, but they are out of my league and would show my the cold shoulder. I either need something to convince one of them to an interview ( I thought about putting something "special" in their drinks but found that a bit immoral), or some kind of magic that makes the people forget that they wanted an interview with a moderator. As alternative, a script that leads them to the interviews with moderators that were made by TheInterviewer, when they yet again make such a request.
Thanks in advance,
Asandir
Hey Mr.Elfer!
I got this problem. Ya see, My ass is to big and girls keep slaping it every time I walk down the hallway. I tried to lose weight, but every thing got smaller except my butt. As a matter of fact, it got bigger. Now I can't buy pants that fit and I have to walk around with my bare ass hanging out. Oh Mr. Elfer Mr. Elfer, can you help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? I would really appreciate it Thanks!!!
Dear Elfer,
Being the BasedGod all the bitches, including your girl, want to fuck me and sell me some pussy. Just the other night I had an auction for a bitch, and she cost $250.
This is great and all on the weekends, but some nights I want to come home, pour a warm glass of wine and just have someone to eat cheese with. How can I find a real relationship when yo girl keep throwing that pussy at me?
Sorry, I forgot the image.
Yes, that's your bitch. With my name tatted in sharpie across the chest.
ITT Random guy gives generic advice one could obtain from Google, but alas people bite mostly because they're lazy slags.
Bumping this shit because I'm an asshole who does bad things. Come at me.
At 7/20/12 08:48 AM, Amaranthus wrote: I can't think of any good names for cats!
Professor Murder
Dead.
This thread is a black hole for comedy and entertainment that has somehow managed to stay alive for 3 years now.
Maybe it's time to stop, Elfer.
At 7/20/12 10:36 AM, Exile wrote: This thread is a black hole for comedy and entertainment that has somehow managed to stay alive for 3 years now.
Maybe it's time to stop, Elfer.
Hey, this is a thread where I dispense advice, not take advice on comedy from the least funny users on the BBS.
Dead.
Elfer, how do I stay dedicated to this site as long as you have? Have you ever thought of just dropping it and moving on?
returning from 8 years hiatus haha so maybe renovating a little :>
At 7/21/12 08:12 PM, brokenrecord6299 wrote: Elfer, how do I stay dedicated to this site as long as you have? Have you ever thought of just dropping it and moving on?
The trick is to barely, barely dedicate yourself. You can leave for years at a time as long as you remember your password.
Dead.
Dear Elfer,
how do I bump an old thread?
Regards,
Slint
Pretend not to care about anything, but be bothered by everything.
You may be fast on the roads but it's no use on the track.
At 4/3/13 06:46 PM, Slint wrote: Dear Elfer,
how do I bump an old thread?
Regards,
Slint
Impossible. I would never allow it.
Dead.
Dear Elfer,
Can I have 2000 dollars so I can build an amazing computer?
please?
At 4/3/13 06:55 PM, Sword-of-Kings wrote: Dear Elfer,
Can I have 2000 dollars so I can build an amazing computer?
please?
Sure!
Not, like, from me or anything, but I'm sure if you find a way to get it, you can have it.
Dead.
Dear Elfer,
My life is still not fixed.
What are you going to do about this??
[I've been wandering round but I still come back to you]
The serial killer known as Jeff The Killer is after me and wants blood. What do I do? No one even knows where he is anymore so he could strike at any moment.
~Sweet memories of us I do recall~
~Dear angel please come back before I fall~
Honestly i feel that some people are just lying to try to get attention on forums.
At 4/3/13 07:24 PM, Vnzi wrote: I hate country, what do
That depends. Which country?
At 4/3/13 07:24 PM, Gagsy wrote: Dear Elfer,
My life is still not fixed.
What are you going to do about this??
I could refer you to my sister-in-law, she's a life coach. Well, not really, but she did pretend to be one once to get a computer at the small business rate.
At 4/3/13 07:26 PM, CresIsis wrote: The serial killer known as Jeff The Killer is after me and wants blood. What do I do? No one even knows where he is anymore so he could strike at any moment.
Simple: Keep your blood in a locked canister when you're asleep.
At 4/3/13 09:16 PM, MsBobman20 wrote: Honestly i feel that some people are just lying to try to get attention on forums.
This isn't really a question, but keep trying! I believe in you!
Dead.
I'm thinking about investing in gold and reselling it to make a profit. Should I do it? I've studied economics and marketing for a while and I'm pretty confident, but at the same time I've never done this before and there's room for error.
At 4/4/13 07:17 PM, T3XT wrote: I'm thinking about investing in gold and reselling it to make a profit. Should I do it? I've studied economics and marketing for a while and I'm pretty confident, but at the same time I've never done this before and there's room for error.
I wouldn't do it. Despite what everyone says, gold is a currency and not a commodity. It's used by investors as a hedge against fiat currency in general, but it holds no true utilitarian value. Investing in gold is basically betting that the global economy will decline. This would have been a good idea if you had invested prior to 2008, but at this point when we've already hit the bottom about as hard as we're going to, it's not a sound investment. Gold has actually been tanking pretty badly this year.
It's the same type of speculation that led the US into the housing crisis in the first place. People flee to other currencies that they see as "more stable" and in doing so, destabilize that currency. For example, bitcoins are also sitting on a huge bubble right now (they went from about $5 to $75 in less than a year). The only investment that consistently yields returns across the board is a diversified portfolio that tracks the whole market. It's slow money, but it's not so much of a gamble.
Dead.
Do you have any recommendations for a solid investment? I'm not much for shooting, but I know that guns can be a solid investment because their value almost always goes up over time. Another very surprising thing that I've successfully profited off of before is Legos. (I told you it would be surprising.) There are so many collectors of rare pieces and sets that reselling old sets is major moolah.
At 4/6/13 11:36 PM, Piggler wrote: Better off investing in silver, buddy.
Got it. I'l definitely consider that, thanks.
