On a month-to-month basis?

Look, I'm a fat slob. Been that way for forever. I weigh 300 fucking pounds and I'm tired of it. Y'know, I want to be able to look nice for the ladies and just build some self-confidence along the way by losing somewhere in the area of 100 - 120 pounds and putting on some muscle, too.

I'm living on my own and I have copious amounts of time to go to the gym (already signed up for a year) and I know that just working at Wal-Mart over night last summer, I lost 20 pounds in a month.

BUT... I heard that you shouldn't lose like a pound or two a week.

So, I guess my two questions are:
1) How long should my exercise regiment be per day?
2) How much weight should I be able to lose healthily in say a month?

And no, I'm not going to the doctor to ask. Why? Because I don't feel obligated to pay $100 to hear, "eat a no carb diet and exercise".

300 fucking pounds?

Go to africa and you could feed an entire village for months!

Eat a no carb diet and exercise.

That'll be 100$.

What's wrong with losing a pound or two a week? Even at that rate, it'll take you quite some time to reach your goal... and being 300 lbs. is not really healthy as it is (although that can depend on how tall you are and how much of it is muscle, I'm just assuming based on your self-description as a fat slob.)

If I were you, I'd just eat less and start getting some regular physical activity, not necessarily with any specific regimen. Considering you lost 20 lbs just by working at Wal Mart, it seems like you can lose weight easily (i.e. you're not genetically predisposed to be a fatass.)

At 12/17/08 08:56 AM, codesy wrote: 300 lbs. is not really healthy as it is

Yeah, and I smoke (another thing I want to stop doing with this gym membership).

(i.e. you're not genetically predisposed to be a fatass.)

Yeah, I just ate a lot as a kid to comfort myself when my dad would hit my mom. Really.

just try the gym first and see how much you lose there doing to much at once can be harmfull for the body

I doubt anyone on NG has enough medical experience or knowledge of the human body to give you effective dieting tips , fork over the money to the doctor you tight shit.

Exercise and improve your diet.

Walking 30 minutes per day is a good way to start, once you're ready stretch it to 2 miles per day.

deal with it! That's what I do! I just relax! here's what foamy would say: "eat like a sensible human being!"

At 12/17/08 09:28 AM, dreaming-loudly wrote: fork over the money to the doctor you tight shit.

I see you are not of age to pay bills, sir.

All of it!!!

Lol, just kidding. I'm probably on of the few under weight internet users. 21 year old, male, 120 pounds. I'm a shrimp, Saw a doctor for a check up a few months ago and she was all concerned about it because I have a normal diet, I'm not anorexic... they wanted to do tests to find out what the fuck was wrong with me but I'm too poor for that shit.

I'm probably going to die of some crazy illness before the end of year.

At 12/17/08 09:31 AM, Idiot-Finder wrote: Exercise and improve your diet.

Walking 30 minutes per day is a good way to start, once you're ready stretch it to 2 miles per day.

Ohhh no more kitana blades i see...
well i agree with IF ... best way to lose weight in a healthy fashion is to eat correctly. you know eat lots of fruits and veggies lean meats and whole grains. while at the gym start with the elliptical and do that for an hour but dont push yourself just so you get an even breath going and raise your heart rate to about 70% (the machine will tell you what that means with a chart and a heart rate monitor)
then follow up with some weight training. Building muscle and maintaining it burns ALOT of fat and calories. im not sure what weight training you should do because everyone is different. but get yourself comfortable with certain machines and free weights. personally i do alot of ab machines, pull up machines that work lats and legs machines... these three basically get you strong enough to be nimble and able to support your weight in any situation like pulling yourself over a fence or just running up a flight of stairs. breakdancers use those three muscle groups the most.

And dont focus so much on losing weight... focus on getting healthier stronger more flexible and having a good healthy heart and lungs. the healthier you are the easier it will be to lose the weight and keep it off.

but i would say the first few weeks keep your carbs to a minimum, the only carbs you should have would be WHOLE grains. its basically carbs that come with a shit load of fiber and nutrients. and breakfast should be lots of fruit and protien, small lunch and an almost complete vegetable dinner. and you can eat as much veggies as you want just dont have them cooked in butter or some carby sauce. dinner shouldnt have too many carbs or protien, just vitaminsminerals and water to replenish your bodies needs.

Try to keep it easy on yourself for a lil while but every so often push yourself a lil harder until it gets easier. youll notice yourself getting stronger and thinner and youll feel alot better.

And dont give up on it and dont let some personal trainer tell you what YOU need to do ... i fuckin hate those guys .. every time i go to the gym they are like "so what you lookkin to do ? you wanna get riped? you want pecs? looking to do some heavy lifting get big?
Just do everything at your own pace but push yourself here and there as a test.

wow i went off on this one...
well i wish you the best of luck with that. Feeling unhealthy sux

At 12/17/08 09:33 AM, SaintCatbert wrote: here's what foamy would say: "eat like a sensible human being!"

Foamy quotes make people listen to you.

OP, just try and eat healthy and get regular excercise. 30 minutes a day is reccommended to maintain a healthy lifestyle. To lose weight however, try doing a bit more.

As a guy who's actually LOST the amount of weight you're looking at, let me tell you what to do.

First of all; diet.

Breakfast: Grapefruit, maybe a cup of coffee. That's it. Welcome to hell, fatty.
Lunch: Ramen noodles or failing that, 2 or 3 bean burritos from Taco Bell, depending on microwave access/taco bell access
Dinner: Well, you've starved yourself all day... now it's time for lentils and rice/beans and rice. Emphasis on the beans or lentils. Lentils lentils lentils. I can't say it enough. LENTILS. Think about a quarter pound of ground turkey or chicken breast, lentils, and rice. More lentils, less rice. Lentils and rice run about 79 cents a pound respectively, and it's an INSANELY healthy and economical combination.

Exercise:

Well, you've got a gymn membership! YAY!!!

Now use that motherfucker.

There's an aerobic machine called an "elliptical machine" This machine is your bitch now. 30 minutes a day, five days a week. If you're not sweating, you're not doing it right. If you get comfortable on it, INCREASE THE RESISTANCE. I currently have the machine I use maxed out on tension. Ellipticals are a real monkey fucker, too, so if you can't handle it, start on a treadmill you pansy. Ellipticals are MUCH more efficient at burning calories; this is the machine you want to end up on.

Weights. Look, without weights, you're not going to get lean muscle mass, and without lean muscle mass, your metabolism is ALWAYS going to be shit. Here's the rules:

1 start with benchpress. it's a good all arounder. Set the weight to something you can easily push off the bar
2 pump it as many times as you can, stopping at 15. If you can press it fifteen times without straining, increase your weight
3 10 presses is the happy medium. You can get the job done in as little as six presses, but ONLY if you're barely able to push up number six. If you can, use a spotter. When I say "straining to push up" I'm not shitting you. You should come across times when you can't push the bar off your chest if you're doing it right; MAKE SURE TO HAVE A SPOTTER!!!
4 Three sets of presses (that means press the weight as many times as you can once, rest, repeat 3x)

Those rules apply for curls as well. You should alternate curls and presses, working your biceps and chest respectively, letting one muscle group rest while you work the other. Three sets of each per workout.

So, open, 30 minutes aerobic on either treadmill or elliptical, alternating three sets of bench presses and curls. The aerobic will automatically get your legs, and being fat, you've already got strong legs.

I lost a lot weight this way, and my whole family are fat as houses. Remember, if your natural build is large, you'll always have a certain minimum weight, and the only choice you get is whether to make that muscle or fat.

i fuckin love you Funk, Your like Jim Carrey if he was the biggest asshole on earth.

yeah Funk has a good point about economical eating as well. im sure we would all love to have 3 balanced meals a day with the whole fucking pyramid in each one. When i was dieting i worked in a restuarant so i was able to just make myself whatever i wanted to eat. I was kinda lucky with that. But yeah beans rice and lentil will help you lose weight and fill you up.. just be sure i your going to eat dinner like that eat at least 4 hours before you sleep.

Just cut the fat off of you with a knife like a real man, you pussy.

You want to lose that weight but in a healthy manner. Here is what to do.

For the next couple of days, chart what you eat. Add up the values of those foods. Once you got a good idea of what your intake is, limit yourself to about 75% of the normal calories, carbs, saturated fats, and stay away from trans fats at all cost.

Snacking on fruits especially apples will quickly lower your calorie intake. With apples you will burn more calories to chew the apple than it is giving you.

Carbs can be harder to limit because all the good foods seem to have a shitload of them. Stay away from soft drinks, cake, and most bread snacks for awhile. Switch your normal loaf of bread for wheat or rye. These types of breads have more fiber (for every gram of fiber you get, subtract one carb off your intake chart). If you really like white bread, check the market. As of the recent year there has been white bread and potato bread with increased fiber amounts. Try to get more protein in your diet instead. Protein is filling and helps in muscle growth. Get a George Forman hamburger grill and make some patties without the bread, a little bit of ketchup (not too much there) and you are on your way.

You need fat in your diet. But you want to get the right kinds. Saturated fats that are found in most junk foods, some meats, diary, and eggs. They are bad and you want to reduce the amount you eat of them. Problem is that those foods have an ass load of protein and you need that protein. So try to reduce the amount you eat of these types of foods (two eggs in the morning, two hamburger patties at night).

Unsaturated fats are found in nuts (go for peanuts, pistachios, and walnuts. These types of fats are also found in seafood. A great way to lose weight is to eat lots of peanut butter and tuna fish. These foods have a good amount of the good fats, little carbs, and lots of protein.

You do not need transfats. These types of fats were created in a lab and will really fuck you up.

Take a multi-vitamin (here is an affordable one that includes an appetite suppressant) and a calcium supplement. High protein diets can drain you of calcium as a side effect so you will need to find other ways of getting it. Try putting Kraft American Cheese on those hamburger patties as they have 30% of the daily value of calcium in one slice.

Drink more water. And for now just try to walk and go outside a bit. PM in about a month or two and tell me how you are doing.

At 12/17/08 12:22 PM, Sanjay wrote: Diet and exercize are the two biggest factors for losing weight. Stop eating food with high amounts of saturated fat, and watch your calorie intake. Try to stick to a 2,000 or lower calorie diet.

When going to the gym, don't go balls out and work yourself to death. Start out slow and gradually increase the amount of exercize you do over a course of time. Remember, muscle weighs more than fat so if you're trying to lose weight, pay more attention to your diet. Shedding a pound or two a week, especially when you're at 300 lbs is fine. If you can lose even more, you might be fine losing 3 lbs a week until you get back into the 200s.

I agree. In fact I suggest staying away from the gym until you got your diet in order. The problem is that you are going to see a lot of in-shape people and many of these places put mirrors everywhere which does not help. Also, many machines cannot support your weight and nothing will hit your confidence like busting a machine at the gym. I would suggest just getting some walking in your day and a small hand weight (10 pounds max for now). Just work on toning your body by doing less weight and more reps. I.E. train your self to go to 20 reps on each arm with the hand weight. Over time start doing that twice a day). Squats are also good and will really help you to strengthen those legs for more walking.

Losing weight is not like a quota system. Sometimes you can do the same exact thing and get different results from month to month. Most likely you will lose weight faster in the beginning and it will slow and balance out in later months. It is for this reason that you should not worry if you end up losing a lot of weight in the beginning, just make sure you are not losing it in an unhealthy manner.

At 12/17/08 12:55 PM, Otto wrote: Is it not better to have a larger breakfast and a smaller dinner, as you're just going to end up sleeping on a load of food soon after?

You are correct sir. I normally suggest eating the carbs you will eat in the morning and striving more only or mostly protein at night. Even then, you want to eat less at night, so appetite suppressants are good around that time.

Smoke pot and don't give into the munchies.

It elevates your heart rate and thusly burns calories.

But you have to do what Funk said too.

Lose all of it in one go.

Just get a knife and cut the fat off.

Hire the toughest guy in your school to kick the shit out of you every time he catches you eating Fat Fuck Fuel.

At 12/17/08 10:31 AM, FUNKbrs wrote: As a guy who's actually LOST the amount of weight you're looking at, let me tell you what to do.

First of all; diet.

Breakfast: Grapefruit, maybe a cup of coffee. That's it. Welcome to hell, fatty.

WTF! Breakfast is the most important part of the day and it make your body define its metabolic rate for the rest of the day. Why eat more at other times of the day than at breakfast.

Lunch: Ramen noodles or failing that, 2 or 3 bean burritos from Taco Bell, depending on microwave access/taco bell access

Ramen has waaaaaaaaaaaayyy too much sodium. He is already at Sparta weight, you want to really push him to a heart attack?

And don't even get me started on Taco Hell.

Dinner: Well, you've starved yourself all day... now it's time for lentils and rice/beans and rice. Emphasis on the beans or lentils. Lentils lentils lentils. I can't say it enough. LENTILS. Think about a quarter pound of ground turkey or chicken breast, lentils, and rice. More lentils, less rice. Lentils and rice run about 79 cents a pound respectively, and it's an INSANELY healthy and economical combination.

I don't know much about lentils admittedly. But from what I am reading I approve but I would have them for lunch and go with meats at night.

I see flaws in your plan. Much of the foods you prescribe (with exception of the lentils) have no real nutritional value. Instead of eating way less, eat a little less and make sure what you are eating is better.

200 lbs

Go to the gym and ask one of the advisers to make you a program, they'll suit it to your current condition and steadily bring you back to into health. Good luck!

Being at optimum weight and having a stupidly high metabolism kicks arse! In all seriousness though, good luck with the whole losing weight thing. If you manage to reach your target, you'll really feel like you've accomplished something and that you did it by yourself. It won't be easy though and you will be gagging for something unhealthy every now and again so willpower will play a part as well.

Hi,

I used to be pretty obese and started putting on a lot of weight especially on my thighs and bottom in my late thirties. I started exercising as often as possible and also cut down on a lot of high calorie stuff. Unfortunately I hardly managed to lose much weight at all. I then recently read an article by a lady who claimed that she managed to lose nearly half of her weight using a particular weight loss supplement. I tried it out and it actually worked quite well. Within 4 months I managed to lose about 65 pounds. The results were pretty amazing and I feel so much healthier and energetic now. You can read more about the lady's article at

http://www.obesityzapped.com

Do one hour a day, different exersices each day. Remember if you work one muscle work the other.

Take the bullet train, it's the easiest way.

9 months ago I started a new sport, I stayed at the computer too, I was unhealthy and tubby and I hated myself for it, so I took initiative.

You can go to the gym but nothing there you can't do outside, I'm with a group of people who do a sport called parkour and believe me, you lose a lot of weight really fast.

Watch this video for ideas on what we do. Here