I find the melody you have in particular to be quite good for the majority of the song. It gives me a sense of wonder and reconciliation.
Listening to this song makes me imagine that I'm in the credits of an rpg, having slain the final boss and having justice prevail.
It's pretty entertaining to say the least.
BUT there are a considerable amount of issues to this song that, if fixed, would make it strong:
- The final note at the end of the song fails to give me a sense of completion. You made your final note one step above the base note of your key. The note directly above your base commonly gives a feeling of tension, with an anticipated release. There was no release, and to me that was unsatisfying.
- From 0:00 to 0:24 I couldn't really track the direction you were going with the chord progression there. Though I do appreciate the boldness of some chords being cacophonic to instantiate conflict.
The drums in the mix lack the oomph I'm looking for, they seem a bit distant from the song for most of the time.
Some solutions...
- Consider using compression on your kick and snare to reduce the dynamic range of their sounds, and boost the volume. Doing this gives your kick and snare presence throughout the entire hit, instead of just trailing off immediately after the initial attack.
- Sidechaining could help your mix considerably. If you don't know what sidechaining is (not assuming this it's just to help if you don't), its the process of routing your instrument/s (usually drums) to the sounds of the mix, and then having the instrument/s cancel out some frequencies when they play. This gives your instrument/s an opportunity to "cut" through the mix properly.
- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND USING TDR NOVA FOR THIS AND NOT FRUITY LIMITER OR SOMETHING. TDR Nova (free by the way) has a system that allows you to specifically target which frequencies to cancel out in the mix upon input, and this is necessary. Sidechaining via Fruity Limiter or other tools are often suboptimal because they reduce the entire volume of the mix instead of certain frequencies. Therefore you "cancel" out things to make room instead of removing only what you need.
Some frequencies in your basses need to be boosted, mostly in the low-mid range. I just want to feel the presence of them more so I can really feel the drive of the baseline complimenting the tune.
This song has great potential, it just needs to be delivered through some hard work and grit.
RealBlargMaster 
