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Chapter 7 - Inner Struggles

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Author Comments

can you feel

the anguish in your throat

do you still

want to kill yourself

my friend

my love

open your heart

be open for attacks

I can't heal your wounds

I can't heed your feuds

I cannot, I cannot

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Done for the Review for Review thread.

Some good sludgy doom metal. There are a number of issues, however.

The main issue for me is there being no dynamic whatsoever in the song, on any part. I can skip to any point in the song, and it essentially sounds the same- even the parts that you attempted to make feel fuller don't have this effect. This is because you're missing two key parts of a metal band- a bass, and most of the drum kit. The bass isn't just there as a meme, it's there to help shape the sound of the band overall- at least that's the usual function of a drummer in a non-technical metal band. The drum buildups you try to do at the beginning have no impact if, well, there's no impact, but the sudden appearance of a full sound followed my it's immediate absence creates a feeling of dynamic, even if you aren't able to achieve the sound with your instruments.

Speaking of the instruments, that's the other main issue I see- fake instruments. Now there's nothing wrong with using electronic instruments in place of real ones- if they're appropriate. However, in a setting like this where there is only a small number of instruments, they really stand out as being blatantly fake and ill-used.

I've looked through some of your other submissions as well, and at this point in your musical career you're coming up to a roadblock. In order to advance your music to the next level, the next step is to invest money into some things- a real guitar if you don't have one, an audio interface, higher quality drum samples, looking into external VSTs for mixing purposes. It can seem like a big investment, and really it is- however, if creating music is a worthy past time of yours, it's definitely a good direction to go in if you have the money to save for the equipment. Nowadays, you don't even need a whole lot- you already have a DAW and a microphone, just with those you can do a lot. But to make that leap in quality towards something that's truly good, some investment has to be made.

Deathroad responds:

Thank you for the in-depth review. I do have a guitar and even though I'm kinda bad at playing it I could still play these simple songs. I've been lazy, that's why I don't pick up the guitar. I've been lazy and not very self critical, so your review really helped me get some perspective.

Nice song! I like the guitar performance. the vocals are a little bit muffled, but I can still understand them. Keep up the good work!

Credits & Info


3.89 / 5.00

Feb 4, 2020
7:28 PM EST
Heavy Metal
File Info
5.7 MB
3 min 10 sec

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