Yo listen up here's the story, about the time the FEARFIC friends went to a slime party. And now they wish they hadn't. When some Aussies steal their shoes! Also, Brandon is addicted to Instagram, Abysmii loses a lot of money of glue, Slimebeast is a bloody eshay, and they all pop oddboners at the prospect Pennywise played by Tilda Swinton.
This is the Fearfic Podcast, where talking Basement goo Slimebeast, inebriated interstellar traveler Abysmii, and irritable ghostly creep Dead Palette, read all stories horror and Internet related, paragraph by paragraph, and mess around while they do it. From adolescent revenge fantasies to subtle post modern narratives about real life events, and everything in between, we read it and critique.
I Bought my Son a Bucket of Slime for Christmas, and Now I Need Some Questions Answered by noctervoire:
If you're from Australia you should know what an Eshay is, it's a sub-class of a lad. If you're still confused just look at this definition https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=eshay . Just a heads up I may use Aussie slang in parts of the story just google it if your confused.
Actual story starts here
It was Saturday and I was with the boys getting cooked of a gator-beug. Me and my mate were feeling incredibly hungry and decided to mish it to the local 7/11. The other boys who were with us were too baked to bother walking down. So it was just me and my mate (who we'll call Andy) walking 2km in the middle of the night through shady streets and back alleys, honestly what could go wrong?
We were walking down this street that is notorious for its trap houses and brothels. Surprisingly enough we didn't run into any trouble and the few people we did walk past gave us a friendly "evening boys". It was two blocks down near the local elementary school when we spotted them, a group of Eshays at the end of street. There were about eight of them, they were equipped with Nautica shirts, Adidas trackies , Nike caps and bumbags, classic. One of them had a mullet and they were all smoking darts and I shit you not drinking triple x. They also looked about 17-19 years old. One of them spotted us, he took a fat inhale of his dart then shouted "what are you cunts looking at?". The rest of them started shouting slurs at us, since we were so cooked it didn't really have any affect on us and we decided to walk past them. Just as we walked past them someone yelled this at Andy. "Are those fucking 97's? Always wanted me a pair of 97's". Me and baked Andy started to laugh due to how much of fucktard this degenerate sounded like. "Did I say something funny cunt?" He snarled. "Yes dick head" Andy replies jokingly. The group creeps towards us surrounding us. I start to realise what happening. "Andy brutha we should get the fuck outta here" I whisper, he nods and as I start to turn I suddenly feel something hard hit my face. I immediately fall over landing head first into the concrete. One of the dickheads had king hit me. The side of my face that slammed into the concrete feels likes its on fire. I have a splitting head ache and my high suddenly feels 10 thousand times worse as my entire vision blurs and twists around me. Once I recovered I realised Andy had been gang bashed by them and his shoes were stolen. Feels bad for Andy. Luckily they hadn't stolen are wallets. We continue are trip to 7/11, bashed and bruised.
The next day Andy ended up going to hospital because of how bad his chest pains felt. Turns out the boys had broken two of his ribs. I guess the weed really did help numb the pain.
On the off chance that one of the cunts who jumped us is reading this fuck you, give Andy his shoes back you dick head.