TLDR: awesome first half, second half needs work and overall song needs to be cleaned up a bit especially on important transitions.
I like the choppiness of the track in conjunction to the airy feeling of the keyboard, despite it's simplicity there is a certain charm to it. I gave it a 5* rating even though it needs to be cleaned up a bit in certain places. The second major section feels forced compared to the initial segment and does not flow like the initial part.
Detailed analysis: Intro cue was nice and i liked the selection of keyboard (Bass synth). The added effects were a nice touch to give some depth and secondary chime keyboard at 26 seconds was great detail. buildup was great until 54 seconds where the chorded keyboard needed more oomph when it got thrown in. Imagine if you will you want that keyboard to hit like the effect of a car crashing through. I suggest looking at infected mushroom and their interview on return to the sauce where they breakdown the song flamingo for more context on what I mean.
really cool keyboard segment from 54 seconds to 1:07 the extra flare of cutting at 1 min 08 could be left out but it then moves back into a nice flow. A nice change of pace at 1 min 21 but the keyboard section after that needs to be cleaned up as the airy keyboard should either be flattened to give better definition to the increased pace of notes or the tail of the note should be shortened a touch to really define each note better. an example where that struggle occurs is at around the 1 min 38 mark until its abrupt cut at 1 min 45. (that should be cleaned up or the transition reworked.
Smooth section up until 2:36 the build up again is well done and the extra depth my the 3rd keyboard or flute is a nice input. again that car being thrown across the room comment is to be said again after this buildup. the other issue is the tone used feels like a slowed down version through that was passed through special effects to reach a lower tone. around the 2:49 mark you lost me, it was painful to listen to because the previous section was so well thought out and I felt cheated out of what could have been a great section of music based on the previous build and its sound. It was like nails on a chalkboard and I would have preferred the second major part was just cut. The good news is you worked really hard and it shows through your music, however that section just flopped. i would have preferred you kept it in the same key or if you changed octave for you to have it in a higher note range than the one selected. its almost like you slowed the segment on keyboard and kept the same overcut on the key notes.
Positives: Intro and transition into the first breakdown, and main chorus.
Negatives everything after 2 mins 36
Overall a great effort, I hope you continue to produce music and i look forward to seeing other work produced by you. the keyboard reminded me a bit of blackbear
Alrighty. Just in case had not known from the title, this was a collaboration with 3 others.
I do agree that the chords could've had an aid in it's introduction to its part in the track, but at the time there was really no focus or even idea on what could've gone there, but I agree it seems like a pretty boring way to start up the main section.
I think the touch of that cut in the first main section being there might be a personal preference sort of ordeal, but I can agree with your thinking about it. The chords after the short break were actually done purposefully that way. It is okay if you do not favor that part of the track, but it indeed was done intentionally. I wanted to mess around with the LFO on the chords and not have the ends of each part of the chords to be prolonged until the end of the LFO sequence, I wanted to play around with it and make some parts jump-cut to a different part. Also, the portion from 1:38 to 1:45 was not from the notes, it was due to an effect being used there. It is quite iffy, but most liekly another preference ordeal.
One of the tones you mentioned wasn't slowed down with effects, but it's tone was brought down an octave.
To clear up the 2nd main part of the track, I do agree that it could've been better. I was originally going to have the second part of the song similar to the first part, but one of the members had the idea to make it different. I liked it, and so did everyone else. Could it have been better? Definitely, but I did not want to shut down people's ideas, especially since I had done a lot of the work in the beginning half of the creation of the track (not speaking about the beginning half of the track) and I'm used to making solos. We all also could not work on the track for a whole so it was nice for them to be able to work on thew track and throw in something new. it may not be the best part of the song, but at least we've learned from it and know what to fix.
Thank you for your criticism, it is very much needed and appreciated! :)
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