I like the cheery mood at the beginning. Some of the melodic riffs are pretty jumpy - take the one at the very beginning for example. It's got a lot of big intervals (in terms of pitch) between notes, which makes it harmonically a bit hard-to-follow sometimes. A lot of the instruments also sounds a little dry and generic, too.
The part at :46 with the cutesy synth bass and beat is nice. I think you overdid the reverb on the kick there, even while most of the other atmospheric elements were really minimal. For a lot of the first half of the piece, the harmonic motifs are pretty succinct, even if the track is quite long. I liked the transition at 2:16 too, although some of your transitions later in the piece (like at 8:00) didn't work as well for me.
Sometimes you went for a little too much with some of the rhythmic elements, like at 3:03. The percussion there gives off a frantic, energetic vibe that doesn't fit too well with the blissful, downtempo melody. You definitely fleshed out the ideas you had a lot with this piece, and some of the more experimental elements of the piece work well.
The ghostly-sounding part at around 4:15 was super nice. The mix is pretty clean, although the quality of the instruments you're using isn't great. It could be just the limitations of your DAW, but if you're at all able to make your own synths or download higher-quality samples, I'd suggest looking into it.
You definitely have quite a few good ideas between the catchy riffs (like at 8:24) and some of the more interesting rhythmic components. The piece does start to lose coherence after a while, with a lot of distinct sections that don't sound very interconnected. I get the sense that you didn't really know how to end the piece. I think it's worth consolidating some of your ideas here in order to keep the listener following the "storyline" of the piece.
I'd still like to see you find more creative ways of giving the piece variety besides adding and subtracting instruments over time. Mixing tools like filtering and automation, as well as changing the volume levels over time, can help channel the emotion in a piece even if the harmonies and instrumental arrangement are slow to change.
I'd also like to hear a richer atmosphere and fuller texture at times. Much of this piece is really minimal, which gets a bit bland in such a long piece.
Overall, the highlights of this piece for me were probably the loud, clear mix, rhythmic components, fun individual riffs, and creative percussion/drums. I think you should work on creating structural cohesion, gradual transitions, and more original sound palettes. Otherwise, I can already tell you're improving, which is great to hear. :)
Since you asked for a NGUAC/NGADM-style rating, here it goes:
Mixing, mastering, and balance
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
Instrumentation and sound design
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
Originality and uniqueness
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)