There are some good compositional ideas, but the production needs a lot of work. Try double-tracking your guitars and panning them left and right, that'll make them sound fuller. The entire song is in mono right now, and you'll need more stereo than that.
The guitar tone is really muddy; it sounds like you're recording off an amp right now (I can hear the strings being picked), but you'll probably get better results recording direct with an interface, and then reamping, even with free software. Your drums are also really flat and distant.
Finally, someone else mentioned volume; that's something you can fix without any new gear. Just master the track with a crap ton less compression than what you're using now. Hard-redlining the master won't make up for a muddy mix, in fact it'll just make it worse.
also please for the love of god add some variation in the drum patterns