Alright! You’re getting a fresh review on this after the re-master. :) I like the cute piano riff at the beginning. The rimshot at :07 hits a bit too hard imo, especially with the reverb. I think you may have overcorrected a bit for the quiet vocals last time, because now they’re a bit too loud for me. Percussive elements of the mix should almost always come out over the melodic notes, and the bass also sounds a bit too loud here. The louder vocals do help the listener make out the lyrics a bit better, but the blending issues at :50 are still present, and part of the problem may be that the intonation isn’t always perfect. The instrumental track also sounds a bit distorted and over-compressed at times. I do like the structuring in the piece, including the spacey breakdown at 2:18, but I also feel like the mixing effects at 2:32 were a bit overdone. I’m sorry, man. I know you’ve done a lot more work on this since I last reviewed it, but I’m starting to think that the vocal recording might need some more work to get this piece where it needs to be. Still, I like the dark tone of the lyrics and the complementary atmosphere in the instrumental tracks. It’s been a pleasure to listen to your tracks over the course of this competition, and best of luck with your future tracks (and also college!). ^_^

Mixing, mastering, and balance
1/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1.25/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
.75/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.75/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
.25/1
Composite score
7/10

Very pretty beginning. It gets going pretty quickly into something I didn't expect at all. I love the beat! I think I see where you're going with this and I think you just about have it. I think some more variety in that bass during the more quiet parts without the vocals could help bring the listener in. There are some really pretty harmonies in there. I love what you did at 2:32-2:46. You took a chance and I like to think it paid off. I agree with a lot of what JRTH said.

Love the idea, the theme, the atmosphere and the POTENTIAL. For me, the thing holding it back is the mixing and the levels of the elements - a lot gets drowned out and swallowed by compression as things fight to stay on top. The vocals could use a little more love, but the fact remains you have a solid base to work with. If this was my track, i'd strip it down bare and re-build back up - I always manage to get a better mixdown that way.

Nice!