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Trapped in this Time Machine

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This is my NGADM 2019 Group Stage Track.

Visual Concept:
A time traveler is stuck in a malfunctioning time machine which has frantically dragged him across time for eons. In one of its seizures, the machine teleports the traveler to what used to be described as Heaven.
It rapidly becomes clear that these entities are not meant to inhabit the same space.

Lyrics:

- I -

I'll escape
From this cage
That I know
Wasn't meant
For me
Or you

- II -

Cry into the rotten river
You will not be saved
I've come to undo
Everything you've made

All the things that you made

- III -

I'll escape
From this cage
That I know
Wasn't made
For me

Trapped in this Time Machine

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I like the gritty bass at the beginning and the cinematic strings. The Middle Eastern theme is a nice touch here. The sudden volume change at :27 was a bit jarring, and I wish the vocals were a bit more prominent in the mix. The burst of intensity at 1:04 works well, although it’s easy to get a little disoriented with the rhythmic syncopations going on at 1:11. The arrangement of the piece is a bit choppy here, although that does help emphasize the punchy, adventurous vibe of the piece to some extent. The piece was also missing some dynamic melodic content. Still, I think the vocals are very good, and the lyrics themselves are also rather enjoyable. Overall, nice work with the production, harmonies, energy, and sound design. The arrangement could be a bit more fluid, and the composition could be a tad bit more fleshed out, but otherwise I really like the thematic content of the piece and the storytelling here. Keep it up, LunyAlex! ^_^

Mixing, mastering, and balance
1.75/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
1.25/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
1.75/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.5/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
1/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
9.25/10

LunyAlex responds:

Thanks a lot, as always, for the detailed review, critique and nice words!

I like a lot about this song, but damn the vocals are amazing. Reeeeaally good stuff! :)

LunyAlex responds:

I admit I'm a bit self conscious about my vocals in general so this sorta comment really gives me some ease.

Appreciate it and really glad you liked it!
Thank you!

Great job, my friend! The way the lyrics are spoken give an eerie vibe that makes the music give the impression of chaos and insanity. Very well done!

LunyAlex responds:

Very glad you liked the vocals! Appreciate the kind words! Cheers!

I'm assuming this is your vocals on this. You need some guitars to support your vocal style! Not that the heavy strings detract from your song here, but with this voice, I really, really want to hear it in the more traditional set up that I would expect to hear this in. Even in an industrial set up, this would sound amazing. Love the melodic material, and Johnfn is not exaggerating either in how good this is.

LunyAlex responds:

Interesting. I'm pretty self conscious about my voice and I've avoided using it, but I wanted to experiment on this one, so I just went for it.

Might take note and make a more typical new alternative rock-sort of Deftonesy song after this.

Thank you for the kind words and the input! Very appreciated!

This is really good dude! Loving the egyptian scale thing especially!

LunyAlex responds:

Cheers! Glad you liked it!

Credits & Info

LunyAlex
Author

Listens
324
Faves:
7
Downloads
7
Votes
15
Score
4.90 / 5.00

Uploaded
Aug 15, 2019
11:27 PM EDT
Genre
Cinematic
File Info
Song
6.3 MB
2 min 46 sec
Tags

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.