I like the soulful vocals and the pensive guitars. I think there’s a little too much reverb in the texture, though, as the mix feels a tad over-saturated and distorted at times. There’s also this gravelly sound in the background, particularly noticeable at around :58 and 1:16, and I couldn’t tell if that was an intentional atmospheric effect or a product of where you recorded this, but either way I think it’s worth trying to make that sound a little less present in the mix. I liked the intensity of the drums and the long-suffering vibe of the lyrics. It’s a piece that really tells a story, but the structure is pretty flat, like it’s one super-long verse. At some point, I wanted to hear some development in the composition, whether that was an emotional breakdown or an epic guitar solo. The sudden ending and repetitive nature of the instrumental tracks don’t really help you out in that regard, either. This piece, despite all the emotion and passion behind it, sounds structurally incomplete. You’ve done a lot of good work here, and I can tell you’re a talented composer and vocalist. I just think you need to flesh out the arrangement of the piece a little more with a stronger sense of ebb and flow. A more organic approach to the mixing would help out this piece, too. Keep at it, VibrantMan! :)

Mixing, mastering, and balance
1/2
Structure, transitions, phrasing, and variety
.75/1.5
Melody, tonality, harmony, and texture
2/2
Instrumentation and sound design
1/1
Emotion, atmosphere, and catchiness
1.25/1.5
Originality and uniqueness
.75/1
Overall (how do the elements above interact?)
1/1
Composite score
7.75/10