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Piercing Lazer - The Other Side (vocals)

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EDIT: Woah, I'm surprised this got frontpaged, thank you! :D I updated the file because the vocals were just a tad too loud and I boosted the volume of the song as well! Glad you all enjoy it!

As a thank you to the fans who donated to me during a time of crisis, with all the kind words and support, here's one of the tracks from The Other Side Chronicles for free. The record will have songs from The Other Side EP with vocals over all of the songs this time around. Coming this Spring.

If you want the song with the artwork it's also downloadable on BandCamp for free too: https://piercinglazer.bandcamp.com/track/the-other-side

LYRICS

The skin is unraveling,
shadows of the past take rise,
Fighting in the cage,
seeing darkness inside.
I'm facing the wall. that makes you so distant,
Im reaching through, but the message isn't,
Don't be afraid to step on the glass,
the pieces of your past, reflecting what you cast.

Pre-chorus

Expose your weakness!
Whats this space between us?
I try to understand,
this side of you that fights me,
it's not like I can!

Chorus

Cold space, where's your face?
(talking to myself, inside the shell)
For once I see the other side,
the piece I locked away, and buried with the lies.

Verse 2

Shadows creeping, thoughts are leaping,
hidden in disguise, what a demise,
How could I think it's okay
to push them away?
What's in my reflection? Does it show,
the monster in me, should I go?
Things have changed, I'm feeling strange,
I want to try, to keep my eyes open wide.

Verse 3

Dancing on the streets of mystery, I wanted to fly,
you never know what you're gonna get until you try.
Let the weight of the world keep you on the ground,
or you can learn to defy the gravity, oh it's never gonna keep me down.
No, it's never gonna keep me down!
Never gonna keep me down, never gonna keep me down,
never gonna keep me down, won't keep me down.

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Loving your stuff again 5 stars well done!

RealFaction responds:

thanks!

I've come back to this several times trying to decide how I feel about it. I loved the original instrumental version, but the vocals feel inconsistent.

Some particular examples would be "shadows of the past take rise" being somewhat slurred and inarticulate, "Im reaching through, but the message isn't," having too much vocal tension, or the line "I want to try, to keep my eyes open wide" just being flat. The writing is also frequented by syllables landing in awkward spots, with some small words being unnecessary ("buried with the lies" could just be "buried with lies.")

What's curious about these errors is that they don't seem to stem from inexperience. You've been doing music for a long time, and a lot of the lines are sung perfectly. Your delivery of "What's this space between us" is FANTASTIC. The emphasized syllables line up with the stressed notes in the instrumental, and the lyrical simplicity of it (only six syllables) drives every word home with conviction. Most of the 3rd verse (despite being lyrically less interesting) also flows with the instrumental better and sounds musically strong.

From an outsider perspective, I can only guess at the writing process here, but it looks as if you only did a couple takes to record the vocals and didn't spend enough time refining every line and making it work. The result is that some parts are sung beautifully, and some... aren't.

The original instrumental is still my favorite work from you, but with a bit of refining I think the vocals could service the song much better than it currently does.

RealFaction responds:

Dang, i was pretty happy with this too. Well thanks for the feedback. I wish I could do better though...crap. I wanted to keep a rhythm going with the words though in terms of "buried with the lies". I've heard other songs do stuff like that.

Well im glad you think they're sung perfectly haha. I wasn't expecting to hear that. Thank you! I actually did a lot of takes on these vocals, it was hard haha. That's why I guess I'm a bit bummed about it. Thank you though. I was hoping this would be the final version, I'm honestly not sure what else to do with it. :c

Thank you for the feedback. I'll try and see if I can hear what you mean though.

Lovely voice and composition except for the chorus (not pre-chorus) which is quite generic and uninspiring and the verse 3 which is borderline boring

RealFaction responds:

Yeah, thanks for the "kind" words :/....least you're honest I guess. You rated 4 stars so I guess it wasn't as generic as you say, or whatever. I take criticism as long as it's constructive but this is just mean tbh.

The music could be a little louder than now :P
But the song was brilliant ^-^ <333

RealFaction responds:

Louder? But I thought it was as loud as the other songs volume-wise? Unless that's not what you mean, I don't know. But thank you! :)

Was a fan of the rock genre. This is good

RealFaction responds:

Thanks :)

Credits & Info

RealFaction
Author

Listens
967
Faves:
16
Downloads
24
Votes
22
Score
4.40 / 5.00

Uploaded
Mar 21, 2019
1:56 AM EDT
Genre
General Rock
File Info
Song
5.9 MB
4 min 18 sec
Tags

Licensing Terms

Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.