From advertisement thread:
I'll commend you for taking on a complex song such as this one. This reminds me when I challenge a remix of Phantasy Star Online songs, which are madness at best. I'll just get straight into it. I think one of the things that is hurting is the choice of VST that you use for this song. Because the original Lifelight has violins in the background accompaning the song, the violins were mellow to the singer, who is given enough headroom to have a pronounce voice. The bell-like instrument is creating some conflicting noise that is a bit distracting to listen to.
Secondly, this song requires good usage of vibrato, so I would suggest to practice that if you can muster it. Vibrato help to make vocals sound richer, which the lady has a perfect mastery over (obviously she must if she's tackling a song for a game that popular). Other than that, I think the vocal could use some reverb as they sound like they hit a wall and stopped.
Additionally, some of the chords didn't sound right as it was going along, and I know this can be attributed from trying to guess what the chords are, as when it gets into the weeds, it's nearly impossible to figure out. If you have a keyboard or can play out the notes, look at what chords each part is bring and try to get that into your cover.
Otherwise, you have a good song. I think there are things that can be improved, but overall, this is a great start.
(This applies to the both version you posted.)